Category: Just thinking (Page 4 of 8)

Contentment at Christmas

December 20, 2021 / Shari Baar / 6 Comments

Dear Daughters,

It was two weeks before Christmas and I didn’t even have my wreath up yet. Thanksgiving decorations were sitting around waiting to go into the storage box, then heading down for the basement. The Christmas tree was still in its box. I cancelled my piano student’s Christmas recital, and everything is different this year, not at all going as planned.

That’s probably been the story of every one of you sometime or other – we all have plans for our lives, and rarely do they go according to our idea of how they should. Sometimes there are disappointments, sometimes unexpected joys, sickness, heartache and grief, while it seems like the rest of the world is joyful and festive.

It would be easy for me to dwell on what I don’t have – energy because of ongoing covid fatigue, the loss of a beautiful evening of Christmas music from the students I love, the extra work it takes to care for dad, missing out on events I had hoped to be a part of. And to be truthful, I have been disappointed, sometimes angry and frustrated about how drastically our lives have changed.

But after grieving my losses, I have chosen instead to dwell on what I can do – call up a home health care service and ask for help from a woman with lots of energy, enjoy watching and listening to The Messiah, ask for help from some grandchildren and their parents, hire a snowplowing service to clear our driveway this winter. Dad has always been able to snow blow and shovel our driveway and sidewalks, but there comes a time to pass the work on to someone else.

I’ve always loved the verse, I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. But it wasn’t until a few years ago that I found that verse in context. Paul, who penned these words as he was sitting in a Roman prison, wrote the following rather astounding sentences:

…I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me…

Philippians 4:11-13

Contentment is the main subject, and suffering can be our greatest teacher. While we have no control over whether or not we will contract an illness, we can learn to decide how we live during that time – be it a short time or long. We can choose to lament why me? and see the unfairness of it all, or we can come to the point of surrendering the circumstances of our lives to Jesus and finding contentment in whatever comes our way. It seems counterintuitive, but contentment is a by-product of the strength Jesus gives us.

I will be honest, there were a few days during our covid adventure that I was not content. When I first learned Dad was coming home and I was still struggling with the virus, I was frustrated – How can I take care of him, an oxygen tank, a walker, a back brace… when I’m only able to be off the couch a few hours a day? But after I spoke about all my inadequacies and irritation to Jesus (He’s usually the first one I vent to) I found out that a few hours a day off the couch was all I needed. Friends and family brought food, nurses were nearby virtually, and we both started improving slowly but surely.

I cry aloud to the Lord; I lift up my voice to the Lord for mercy.

I spill out all my complaints before him, and spell out my troubles in detail.

Psalm 142:1-2

When we come to the end of our own strength and cry out for help, He often sends assistance through other people. So much food was provided that we had to put some in the freezer for a time, young and energetic children and grandchildren helped move around furniture and put up decorations, assisted with the outdoor work we were unable to do, and now… all is well.

Thank you all for generously giving to us,

Love, Mom

Write Your Own Headlines

November 4, 2021 / Shari Baar / 2 Comments

Dear Daughters,

Sometimes I listen to the news, but I must limit myself because the news that sells is usually filled with conflict, covid and criticism – which if heard too often leads to a heavy dose of anxiety. If I try to find my stability in the news I hear from the world, I become wobbly and fearful, anxious and full of despair. I pray for people in our country and around the world, for politicians (those I agree with and those I don’t) but it is not healthy for me to focus intently on what is wrong in the world.

I recently read an article by Beverly Greer about an idea I have decided to adopt. She decided to start writing her own headlines – not to be published in the news – but headlines from her own world as she hunts for beauty, faithfulness and goodness. I too have started searching for good headlines to write, those that may be mocked by others as insignificant, never to land on the front page, but headlines nevertheless. Headlines to encourage patience and gratitude, perseverance and love. Here’s a few I have written for myself:

A butterfly climbs out of its cocoon this morning, glorious in all its beauty.

Family drops everything to come to Grandpa’s bedside as he enters his last days

and his body gives out

The sun rises over a deep canyon filled with liquid beauty.

The miracle of people flying in an aluminum tube above the clouds

The spikey beauty of icicles are seen on a simple windshield

Apples growing on a tree started by planting a single apple seed

A man and woman have been faithful to each other for 45 years

Starlings seen doing unimaginable acrobatics that would challenge the Blue Angels

A single sperm and egg unite and become a baby in 9 short months

To some, this may seem like a wasteful exercise and quite inefficient for people who are busy doing important things, but writing your own headlines is an exercise in faith. Faith that this world was created specifically to be beautiful and life-giving. Yes, it has been marred and broken, but God originally made all things good and He is delighted when we take the time to actually see and give thanks for such things. This is also an exercise in trust, knowing that

The reality of naked trust is the life of a pilgrim who leaves what is nailed down, obvious and secure, and walks into the unknown without any rational explanation to justify the decision or guarantee the future... Do the truth quietly, without display.

Brennan Manning

Brennan Manning, who defines the intense love of God for his children to be the most powerful force in the universe, lived a life of simplicity. He looked for God’s goodness everywhere, because it is everywhere – if we take the time to look.

Writing your own headlines won’t make you money or cause the world to applaud your actions, but it just may bring you more peace and joy…

The marvel of the human body, the splendor of the universe and all its inhabitants are subjects that could keep us occupied for thousands of years. In his humility, God created not just one species of butterflies, but 17,500. He created not just our Milky Way galaxy, but millions more. The little blue dot we humans inhabit is miniscule compared to the rest of the vast heavens around us. And yet He made all things on this little dot for us to discover and be amazed. He rejoices when we give thanks for all He has given. As Jesus Himself says,

...I have told you these things so that in Me you will have peace. In this world you will have suffering, but take courage: I have overcome the world.

John 16:33

There is absolutely no end to God’s creativity in trees, fruit, feet, fingerprints, clouds, voices, snowflakes, personalities, body shapes, hair color, laughter, sunsets, leaves and the intricacy of all His creation. Every square inch of our world belongs to Him, on loan for us to enjoy.

What headlines can you write as you look around in your world today? Please leave a headline of your own in the comment section below.

Thank you!

Love, Mom

Choose Your Frame

October 27, 2021 / Shari Baar / 4 Comments

Dear Daughters,

About 70 years ago Grandpa had a mid-air collision while he was a young pilot living in California. Because of the G.I. bill he was able to take lessons for free, so had been training for his pilot’s license. One day Grandpa was flying quite low to the runway when another small plane, flying a little higher than his, turned unexpectedly into Grandpa’s path and cut off his tail in the process. Grandpa’s plane flipped completely over and landed on its nose, leaving him hanging in his seatbelt. He loosened his belt, dropped to the ground and walked away unharmed.

There were five different people who saw the accident. Guess how many different opinions came when they were questioned about what happened? Yes, five different opinions of the same accident.

It happens all the time, for any situation, statement or news report. An incident occurs and every person perceives it with their own bias or prior knowledge and experience. How we frame our circumstances definitely defines the way we live.

This morning we woke up to a power outage lasting three hours. No warm breakfast or hot tea – a minor inconvenience for us, and it passed quickly. But I’m sure it was a cause for extreme consternation to others who had things to do and places to go. I immediately thought of the people in the Dominican Republic and other countries like it. In the DR people plan on outages every day because different quadrants of the city are allowed so many hours of electricity each day and they simply allow for that fact, grateful when it is working.

There are many different frames available for everything that happens to us. We can frame a situation so we become the victim. We can frame another happening so we are the hero. Or we can frame a circumstance portraying us as innocent. The framing options never end…

Do you remember Paul, the guy who Jesus appeared to on the road to Damascus? He regularly had his plans foiled and his journeys often included unexpected encounters and directions. In fact, during the end of his life he and some friends set out to Rome, eagerly planning to spread the good news to the people there. Instead, he ended up in prison, being chained night and day to the guards keeping watch over him. In this situation Craig Groeschel (in Winning the War in Your Mind) describes the choices of how Paul could respond:

#1) Lament the fact of his imprisonment because it wasn’t on his agenda

#2) Rejoice because Paul trusted that God’s plan was better than his

If he had chosen option #1 he could have said:

Now I want you to know, brothers and sisters, that what has happened to me really sucks. I wanted to spread the good news through preaching to government officials, but that did not happen. As a result of this hell I’ve been through I have decided prayer doesn’t work, and I am never going back to church again.

But because he trusted that God’s plan was better than his he chose option #2 and said:

I want you to know, brothers and sisters, that everything that has happened to me here has helped to spread the Good News. For everyone here, including the whole palace guard, knows that I am in chains because of Christ. And because of my imprisonment, most of the believers here have gained confidence and boldly speak God’s message without fear. Philippians 1:12-14

In effect, Paul was saying, I had a plan but God had a better plan. These guards are listening to the gospel and they in turn tell others the good news. So it’s all good, and I’ll just enjoy.

Paul was the GOAT (greatest of all time) framer of circumstances. He found joy in every situation, in fact he is the one who wrote,

I have learned to be content in all circumstances…I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

Philippians 4:11-13

I think the bottom line in framing our lives is knowing that we have no control over what happens to us, but we do have control over how we will frame it. If we trust that God loves us and has the best plan for our lives, and the Spirit of God lives within us, we need not worry or fret when hard stuff happens. Yes, we can mourn and lament but ultimately, we do have the choice to reframe every situation.

Apparently, Grandpa simply framed his accident as a learning experience because a few decades later he built his own plane and took to the sky again.

Choose well and trust God with your life.

Love, Mom

Vultures and Hummingbirds

September 14, 2021 / Shari Baar / 4 Comments

A few years ago my husband and I watched a mama cow in the front pasture who had recently given birth. The little calf was laying in the green grass nearby the placenta which had recently released its occupant. Just a few minutes after the birth, Larry saw these six vultures hovering around the pasture just waiting to gobble up their meal – the mouth-watering placenta.

A little later we also saw a hummingbird fliting around some wildflowers, joyfully drinking some of the sweet juice it had found.

These two memories recently resurfaced as I finished reading a chapter from the book Winning the War for your Mind by Craig Groeschel, as he made the comparison between vultures and hummingbirds. When a vulture flies around what is it looking for? It always looks for dead things. Apparently, vultures can smell roadkill from over a mile away. Vultures primarily focus on dead things, smashed, squished or rotting – that is their specialty.

Hummingbirds, on the other hand, are attracted to sweet, life-giving nectar. As they fly, their wings flapping 20 times per second, they are continually on the search for beautiful flowers and fragrant blossoms. Hummingbirds focus on life and beauty.

What a difference in the goal of their hunts – one seeking out death and the other looking for life. Every day each bird finds what they are looking for.

Craig uses these two feathered friends to illustrate the way each of us tend to preframe our perspectives during the day. At the beginning of each day we typically have a mindset of what we expect during the day. We can choose how to view something before it happens.

It’s so easy to fall into the trap of preframing our day with the thoughts:

Today will be the same old same old stuff I face every day. Same stuff, different day. I’ll never be able to get done all I need to. I’m overwhelmed.

We expect and look for those things that bring us down, despairing and hopeless. The way of the vulture.

Thankfully there’s another way to preframe our day even before we get started. With God’s help we can choose the frame for the day – looking for the life-giving beauty, giving thanks for His care. If you know you’re in for a challenging day you could say to yourself:

Today I will experience God’s strength through my weakness. He gives me everything I need for what I’m called to do. Instead of a bad, busy day, I’m going to enjoy a good productive one.

There is not a moment in your life when God has forgotten or forsaken you. He assures us, In the world you will have trouble, but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world. We cannot control what happens to us, but we can choose how we will frame it. We can see our circumstances through the lens of His mercy and grace, knowing our strength comes from Him. This is the way of the hummingbird.

It’s a beautiful thing to know we are loved and cared for by our Heavenly Father who has promised to carry our burdens.

It’s also empowering to know we have a choice:

To follow the way of the vulture or the way of the hummingbird.

The God Box

August 31, 2021 / Shari Baar / 4 Comments

Dear Daughters,

Did you know that on average you make 35,000 choices every day? I had no idea, but that’s what the research says. You can choose to get out of bed in the morning, choose to smile, choose to be kind to your husband and choose to say “thank you” to the people around you.

You can also choose to worry – about what your friend thinks of you, worry about wearing the right clothes, about whether or not you will get Covid, about what your children are doing… the possibilities are endless.

To worry or not to worry? That is the question.

Our human default is worry.

We are faced with two basic choices every day. We have a choice to worry about how we’re going to figure out tomorrow

– or –

we can choose to trust God and cast those worries on Jesus.

Craig Groeschel recently wrote a book Winning the War in Your Mind, teaching about those very things. One specific example he gives is an incredibly easy and tangible way to be thinking about what you are thinking. Craig suggests making a God Box. It can be a shoebox, an Amazon box, or any other little box you may have lying around. On the outside of the box write the word God. Any time you have a runaway thought, a worry or a temptation, write it down on a piece of paper and throw it in the God Box.

You might write something like:

I’m afraid there won’t be enough money to cover the bills

I’m worried about my 17 year-old

What if our business fails?

I’m afraid of what may happen to my children when I am not around

I’m worried about my health, what if I never get better?

Will there be enough food for all?

Will my friend ever forgive me?

So, when you write each of these worries on a piece of paper and put it in the God Box, you could say:

God, I know you’re bigger than all these problems and I will trust you with them. I can do nothing to fix anything, and so I give them all to you. I don’t want to expend my mental real estate focusing on all these issues I cannot change, so I give them to you.

Once you pray and give it to God, go on with your life.

But… says Craig, if you decide you want to worry about something you’ve already put in the God box, open it up take out that slip of paper and say to God,

I don’t trust you any more with this item so I’m going to worry some more about it.

You may think that sounds like a rude thing to say to God, but in effect that’s what we’re saying when we fill our mind with worry. The apostle Peter tells us to cast all your cares upon God for He cares for you. Our thoughts seek to betray us, and doubts pop into our mind, but we have a choice whether we will worry about stuff, or live a life of trust and dependence on God.

If you don’t have a box, use a bag and call it your God Bag. Something, anything to remind you to quit worrying about things you can do nothing about.

Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we will receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. Hebrews 4:16

Love, Mom

The Engine and the Caboose

July 28, 2021 / Shari Baar / 3 Comments

Dear Daughters,

Do you ever have days when your mind seems to be inundated with dark thoughts, intense dislike for certain people around you, and feelings of self-loathing? I have those thoughts especially on days when I’m physically not feeling well or when someone has recently disappointed or hurt me with their words.

Thoughts like these affect every human being from time to time. If you’re human you struggle with negative thoughts, for the mind is where the battle rages. The battlefield of our life is in our mind – what we think affects what we do which affects what we say and how we behave.

A few years back a good friend showed me this little diagram of a train. I admit my artistic abilities are nothing to be astonished at, but you’ll get the gist of it. If you consider this train as running through your mind – through all the neurons, dendrites and synapses (all the tiny functioning parts of our brain which are lovely words I learned in my education classes) – we can learn a great deal of why we feel like we do.

The Engine driving the train is labeled Facts. The Caboose at the end is Feelings. So what are the facts you think about? If you listen to what other people and our culture teaches they may be something like this:

I’m not good enough

Not pretty enough

Not smart enough

No one really loves me

God loves everyone else more than me

If anybody really knew who I am they wouldn’t like me

My life is hopeless

I’m a failure

I’m going crazy

I’ve been forgotten

I’m not enough. Period.

And if we always believe for a fact that we’re never enough of anything, where do our feelings and emotions lead us? I don’t know about you, but my path becomes dark and lonely, I become easily offended by others and eventually, hopeless. Or I work hard at proving to others and myself that I am enough, that I am worthwhile. Either way, we become as a wave tossed by the ocean, no anchor, no stability, floating along on the bleak sea of others’ opinions of us.

If our feelings drive our train we’ll start trusting our emotions to rule our life and in time we’ll crash and burn. If we allow the engine containing facts of what other people think about us become the driving force of our life, we will quickly sink into despair.

But if we let that Engine of Facts be filled with the Truth about what Jesus says about us, we will become a different human being. Here’s just a few of the things Jesus says about you:

I am God’s child.

I have been bought with a price – I belong to God.

I have been adopted as God’s child.

I am free from condemnation.

I have not been given a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind.

I can find grace and mercy in my time of need.

I am confident that the good work God has begun in me will be perfected.

I cannot be separated from the love of God.

If these Facts become secure in our Engine of Life our caboose of Feelings will become hopeful, joyful, peaceful and loving. Our emotions will become sheltered, safe, stable, anchored by hope, constant and steady.

There is no human being in the universe who can be our rock. People will always disappoint us, our husband, our children, our friends. Humans are simply imperfect created beings unable to fulfill our every need, and they were not made to fulfill our needs. No one can live up to your expectations, and the inverse is also true – you are not able to live up to anyone else’s expectations. Only our Creator – who has proven His love for us and spoken about it repeatedly in the Book of Life – is able to be our Rock, our Redeemer and Rescuer.

We can either let emotions pull our lives as an engine pulls the train, relying on our fickle feelings from hour to hour

-or-

We can let the Facts of God be our engine and our emotions to follow behind where they belong.

Let me add one Major Detail: If you rely only on your own willpower or strength to change your thoughts, you will fail. But don’t give up – Look up! Changing your thought life doesn’t come without a battle. In other words, there will be a battle in store for you if you truly desire to replace the lies you believe with God’s Truth. But because Jesus has offered His Spirit to live inside you for the asking, it is a war that can be won. Christianity has never been about behavior modification – it’s always about transformation from the inside out.

Love, Mom

Exploring My Strange Bible

June 8, 2021 / Shari Baar / 2 Comments

Dear Daughters,

Have you ever tried to read the Bible and got bored with it? Has the Bible seemed like a randomly collected book of stories and facts, a few wise sayings mixed in with some really strange prophecies? Yeah, I have too. Many of us believe that the Bible is either a divine instruction manual dropped from heaven or just a few inspirational quotes mixed in with some strange and disturbing stories. Some of us think it’s just an old book that has no relevance for people today. I used to read just the parts I liked and ignore the sections that were puzzling or offensive. But all that changed when I was introduced to the Bible Project.

Tim Mackie, one of the founders, calls himself a card-carrying Bible nerd and wants others to also be amazed at how brilliant and wise the Bible actually is. From page one in Genesis to the last word in Revelation, the Bible is a cohesive, unified story all pointing to Jesus. Tim’s early podcast, Exploring My Strange Bible, speaks out loud what many of us have actually thought: the Bible is too hard for me to understand, I’ll just leave it to the experts.

Back in 2014 Tim and Jon made two short 5-minute videos summarizing a few books of the Bible and posted them online for free. Jon’s passion for visual storytelling combined with Tim’s PhD in Biblical and Hebrew studies made accessible many seemingly confusing parts of the Bible. I’m quite certain I have watched at least 100 of their short videos, and every one I watch expands my appreciation and love for this book.

I had no idea that certain themes introduced on the first page of the Bible – such as the tree of life, the talking snake in the garden, the change from chaos to order – are coherent, beautiful and trustworthy themes, each one beautifully developed throughout all 1,000+ pages of the Bible.

The 40-some authors of the Bible, writing over a period of 1,500 years, must have been guided by God’s Holy Spirit. There’s no other way this book could consistently weave the same theme throughout. The writers, ranging from kings to herdsmen, were carried along in crafting their words, yet each writer has a specific personal style. As this picture suggests, it’s hard to see where God and man’s words stop or start, they simply worked together as a partnership. There’s no other book like it in the entire world.

I remember thinking in the past, If I were God, I would have whitewashed some of those stories, cleaned them up and tied them up with a neat pretty bow. But God is not interested in cover-ups and lies. He wants us to know that He can turn any chaotic and seemingly hopeless situation into good. He is the Champion God of great reversals in our lives, restoring and redeeming what has fallen into chaos. Anyone who is willing to let Him do His good work in them is invited to ask. God is a gentleman and will not force His way into anyone’s life, but He’s always at the door waiting to be let in.

Love, Mom

Stumbling Blocks or Stepping Stones?

May 26, 2021 / Shari Baar / 4 Comments

The only difference between stumbling blocks and stepping stones

is how you use them. ~ Unknown

Dear Daughters,

Disruptions.

It’s a word no one likes, but it’s a reality of life. You know how you sometimes have a day planned, a picnic scheduled, a vacation intended, a wonderful life you imagined, a marriage you had hoped for? And then something comes up to change your plans. Sometimes it’s a physical or mental ailment, other times it’s rainy when you want sun, a car accident occurs, postponed flights annoy, a microscopic virus disrupts life, and then there’s always those people who make life difficult.

When Dad and I married 45 years ago I had my long-range plan in place – to live a peaceful yet challenging life on a dairy in Idaho. As you know, only four years later my nostalgic plans were disrupted when Dad and I answered the call for him to become a pastor. Moving cross-country to Michigan was not how I expected my life to unfold.

Living in four different states and 12 different cities, disruptions have become a way of life for us. They have not become any easier, but we have grown accustomed to making new friends – again and again.

We are often offended by disruptions. Schedules and busyness can become addictive, making us feel like we are in control of our life. We bring the kids to soccer practice, make sure there are clean clothes for tomorrow so we don’t have to dig some out of the hamper, try to have something edible on the table for dinner, get the homework done, try to have a little quality time with our husband….and the list goes on.

If you remember Bilbo Baggins the Hobbit, he was a person whose life was completely disrupted without his permission. He was called on a journey he wasn’t prepared for, didn’t sign up for, never remotely volunteered for, and really was not at all interested. But Gandalf came, brought him some friends and comrades and off they went into unknown, uncharted territory. In the end, Bilbo grew up. He did things he never thought himself able to do. He became courageous, brave, bold, daring and creative.

Or think of Dorothy. She too was taken on an adventure unexpectedly because of the tornado. She had not chosen to be carried in her dream to the land of Oz, but once there she made friends with Scarecrow, the Cowardly Lion and the Tin Man. On the journey with them she learned compassion, bravery, and how to become a warrior.

When God disrupts our lives with whatever circumstances he chooses to use, we are not typically grateful. We would prefer to order our own lives, follow our five, maybe ten-year plan for our life. We like to be comfortable, doing things that make us happy. However, God wants us to learn to love others as we love ourselves.

I was surprised 20 years ago when I read Victory over the Darkness by Neil Anderson and learned that God’s basic goal for my life is character development: being and becoming the person God wants me to be. Really? That’s it? It sounded too simplistic. I thought it was doing all the right stuff, being a fairly good wife and mother, teaching all my students to sing and play the piano.

Yes, those things are important, but the bottom line is that God wants you to become more loving, patient, joyful, peaceful, faithful and kind. Nobody on earth can keep you from becoming that kind of person. And that’s precisely why there are distractions, disappointments, trials and disruptions in our lives.

We often interpret the hardships in our lives as, Why is God mad at me? Perhaps we need to see them as,

God loves me enough to mature me.

Helen Keller, the woman who was both blind and deaf, wrote:

Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet.

Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened,

vision-cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.

So, we have a choice. We can choose to see our tribulations as stumbling blocks, get angry about them, whine and complain about them. Or we can accept disruptions as stepping stones and embrace the changes and challenges that come into our lives, knowing Jesus will use these incidents to grow us up.

I don’t know of any parent who wants to keep their children in diapers. We want our own children to mature, and God our Heavenly Father wants maturity for us as well.

For each person, the specific story of circumstances will be different, but the Larger Story is always the same:

The goal of our instruction is love. (I Timothy 1:5)

Our disruptions can be seen either as stumbling blocks or stepping stones, the choice is ours.

Love, Mom

The Chosen

May 18, 2021 / Shari Baar / 2 Comments

Dear Daughters,

Several years ago a friend of mine posted a new TV series called The Chosen. Again and again I would see his posts, commenting on how much he enjoyed it and encouraging others to watch. I remember thinking to myself, I’ve seen several Jesus/Bible movies and have never been impressed with them. Most of the characters looked like Americans, Jesus was always white and handsome, the plot lines seemed anemic and the dialogue stilted. The Jesus in the movies never seemed real to me; he seemed other-worldly, not at all connected to his humanity.

So I never looked into it – until a month ago. Recently, because another friend of mine was so enthusiastic about how she loved the series and had watched some episodes several times, I finally decided to give Season 1, Episode 1 a try. It was titled

I Have Called You By Name.

Completely different from any movie I’ve ever seen about Jesus, it opens with Mary Magdalene as a little girl, then as an adult wrestling with her demons. It shows the every-day oppression of living under the Roman occupation, the hierarchy of the Jewish religious system, and the day to day grind of being a fisherman.

As with any good movie, I had a lot of questions and wonderings about different scenes so of course I had to watch it again. But the most amazing thing for me is the character of Jesus and how his humanity is portrayed – how he loves people in the red quarter, how he carves toys for the little children, how he celebrates with joy and dancing at the wedding feast of his friends. The honesty and vulnerability of Jesus is refreshing. He is not intimidated by the religious folk, the poor, the cynical or the Romans.

On the other hand, the disciples are depicted as the self-centered, hard-to-get-along-with people they were. Seeing the backstories of the characters helped me to see them as actual human beings who were deeply flawed, argumentative and obviously misunderstanding the entire mission of Jesus. The apparent animosity between Peter the fisherman and Matthew who ruthlessly collected his taxes, was shown for what it was. And yet, Jesus called them both to follow Him. There were spats among the disciples – who was the greatest of them and arguments about how the whole traveling troupe should be managed. There were biases toward classes of people and speculation about ideologies, mistrust of each other and definite opinions about life in general. Peter, the guy who seemed the most opinionated of all, constantly gave Jesus helpful hints about how the ministry should be run.

I had never thought about Jesus continually traveling, setting up camp each night, preparing food, walking miles of dusty roads and constantly facing multitudes of people seeking healing, facing intense criticism from the religious folk and being entirely misinterpreted day after day by everyone around Him.

The official statement about the series:

The Chosen is based on the true stories of the gospels of Jesus Christ. Some locations and timelines have been combined or condensed. Backstories and some characters and dialogue have been added. However, all Biblical and Historical context and any artistic imagination are designed to support the truth and intention of the Scriptures. The original names, locations and phrases have been transliterated into English for anything spoken.

The Chosen gets two thumbs up from me, and a huge thank you to my persistent friends for challenging me to watch the show.

Love, Mom

The Beautiful Exception

April 29, 2021 / Shari Baar / 2 Comments

Dear Daughters,

Did you know you can choose to be unoffendable? Being offended is what comes natural, it’s our human default setting. If someone makes us mad, or maybe just disagrees with us, our first impulse is to be offended.

When I first heard of Brant Hansen’s book Unoffendable, I was offended. I always thought it was good and healthy to be angry at some things – like sex trafficking, child pornography and civil rights abuses. Sure, I know Jesus taught us to love others, forgive people who hurt us, be patient with those who irritate us. But really, is that what he meant for every day? Every time someone cuts me off in traffic, anyone who doesn’t agree with my political or religious views, or people who are simply mean? Aren’t we supposed to be angry with those who sin, who don’t live like we live?

Today’s cancel culture teaches us – If you aren’t like me, if you disagree with me – I will cancel you out of my life and never speak to you again.

When I study the life of Jesus, I am amazed. He never cancelled anyone. Nor was He ever shocked or surprised at human behavior. He knew that we are all basically selfish, He knew the fallen human heart was just that – fallen. So maybe, just maybe we would do well to live the same way. We all know what’s in our own heart so we can imagine every other person struggles with the same exact stuff. Different details, different day, different location, different people, but basically, we all skirmish with the same emotions as every other human on the planet.

Because I battle bitterness toward people who have hurt me, I imagine others do as well. I struggle with forgiveness, so I know others also struggle when I hurt them. When we can accept it as a fact – that people are self-centered, untrustworthy, unfaithful and prone to selfishness – we don’t need to be shocked any longer and can learn to adjust our expectations accordingly.

Now this may sound quite pessimistic and like Debby Downer talking. But we need not any longer be surprised at human behavior. If we simply remember that people will react in ways we don’t like, we can plan for it and choose a better way. We can replace the shock and anger with gratitude.

Yes, the world is broken, but don’t be offended by it. Instead, thank God that He’s intervened in it, and He’s going to restore it to everything it was meant to be. Yes, the world is broken, and selfish is our default setting. Brant Hansen

It takes the miracle of a new heart to become unoffended. We see anger in the grocery store and at the bank, rage on the roads and annoyance at home. Offense seems to be the fashion, outrage the popular trend. But to be perpetually shocked and offended at others is exhausting. Brant suggests that we might start living with realistic expectations and choose to be the exception – to be those who are not offended.

So, what if we started being the exception? The Beautiful Exception.

Imagine the results of speaking kindness after being insulted.

Imagine the beauty when we pray prayers of intercession for our enemies instead of words of accusation.

Imagine the reaction if we searched and spoke of the good people do instead of highlighting the evil.

Imagine trusting God to take care of the people who have hurt us, to let Him do the work and mete out the justice we are incapable of giving.

Imagine someone cuts you off in traffic and you choose to replace that shock and horror with gratitude, to forgive them and actually pray for them.

And then when a person generously lets you merge – give thanks.

Imagine when your UPS driver drops off a package, you open the door and shout out thank you! (something Dad is really good at)

Imagine your life becoming less stressful because you give up your right to anger and offense.

We need to remember, always remember when Jesus was reviled, spit upon and mocked, he never came back with similar words, but instead as he was hanging from the cross, prayed for his enemies, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.” And if Jesus lives in us, we have the power to forgive, to give thanks during difficult times and trust our Father to do what we cannot.

Way back in the beginning we were created as images of God, so we can rule as He ruled, with a servant heart and hands of peace.

We draw people to Christ by not loudly discrediting what they believe, by telling them how wrong they are and how right we are, but by showing them a light that is so lovely, that they want to know with all their hearts the source of it. Madeleine L’Engle

And as Brant Hansen sums it up:

When we recognize our unsurprising fallenness and keep our eyes joyfully open for the glorious exceptions, we’re much less offendable. Why?

Because that’s the thing about gratitude and anger: they can’t coexist. It’s one or the other.

One drains the very life from you. The other fills your life with wonder.

Choose wisely.

Let’s be the Beautiful Exception.

Love, Mom

Category: Just thinking (Page 4 of 8)

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Vultures and Hummingbirds

The God Box

The Engine and the Caboose

Exploring My Strange Bible

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The Chosen

The Beautiful Exception

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