Musings on Marriage

Month: October 2017

Old Songs, New Songs

Dear Daughters,

A few weeks ago, our worship leader started out the service by saying

Today we’re going to sing a lot of old favorites.

In my head I’m thinking

Old equals 200 years.

Obviously, she is a millennial because the songs we sang were all around 10 to 20 years old.  I chuckled to myself because the definition of old can mean different things to different people.

The songs were wonderful, well-done and worshipful, but I found it interesting that to some, old simply means a few decades.  To others, like myself, it means a few centuries.

That afternoon I got thinking about old songs and new songs.  I remembered last winter when Grandma was dying and in Hospice care. Hospice provides spiritual support, and we were blessed with a guitar-playing, boisterous singing chaplain.

Chaplain John came to the door on a snowy December day with his guitar in hand.  Being a musician myself I was elated that he obviously loved music as well.  When he came into the bedroom where Mom lay unconscious, he sat down, opened his guitar case and passed around song sheets, Christmas carols along with old yet well-loved hymns.

For the last several days before Grandma’s death, people had come in to say their good-byes, some singing, talking or praying quietly. A few weeks prior, Grandma herself one day started singing

Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so

Little ones to Him belong, they are weak but He is strong.

Yes, Jesus loves me. Yes, Jesus loves me.

Yes, Jesus loves me, the Bible tells me so.

I joined in, singing along with her.  I think she knew her time was short and was comforted by this simple but profound song.

 

Awhile back I was teaching piano in Michigan, and I had a twenty-something student starting out as a beginner. She had recently become a Christian and wanted to start learning to play on the piano some songs she had heard in church. She attended a contemporary-song-singing church and loved the songs that were used in worship.  One week she came to her lesson so excited about a beautiful new song she just learned last Sunday, Amazing Grace, and wondered if I could find the music for her.  (This was before the time of musicnotes.com).  She was surprised to hear that Amazing Grace was 250 years old, but it brought her great joy as she learned to play and sing it.

I started thinking about old songs and new songs the other day, and how the old songs seem to be fading away in many churches.  Then I wondered: when millennials become senior citizens and begin to die, what songs will their friends and family sing at their bedsides?

Thinking of some of the recent popular Christian songs I wondered how we could sing Oceans, My Lighthouse, Breathe, 10,000 Reasons, Break Every Chain at someone’s bedside, not having a worship band backing us up.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love these songs, I sing, play and listen to them often, but they are rather difficult to sing acapella or as a small group with only a guitar. I am a worship leader and love learning all the new songs, but the older I get the more I wonder if we are robbing our younger friends of those old, timeless hymns of the distant past.

There is something secure, bridging the generations, with the ageless hymns of our history.

I attended worship a few years ago in Chicago.  It was a mega-church, wonderful worship band on stage, and an outstanding message on faithfulness and commitment in marriage. The song immediately following the message was Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing, a hymn over 200 years old.  I was rather surprised at this choice because the rest of the service had been newer songs.  When we got to the fourth verse the words

Prone to wander, Lord I feel it, prone to leave the God I love

surprised me, not only because it fit so well with the message, but simply because it was a beautiful song.  The song begins with the words:

Come thou fount of every blessing, tune my heart to sing thy praise.

Tune my heart – what a beautiful word picture.  We tune guitars, pianos and other instruments all the time with hi-tech tuners, but tuning our hearts?  That’s a lot tougher to do because it takes time – thanksgiving, confession, and alone time with God – all those good quiet disciplines that we often neglect.

It’s much easier to tune our hearts to what’s wrong with our husband, what’s wrong with our kids, all the unfairness in the world, or how you have been wronged. I’m continually trying to tune my heart to count my blessings, to give thanks in all things, but it is hard work.  The battle of the mind is relentless.    Sometimes words come out of my mouth that I didn’t even realize were in my mind.  But they were probably in my heart.

I’ll continue to enjoy the new songs, but I hope we don’t abandon the old faithful sung-through-the-centuries songs that are remarkably up to date.  Maybe that’s because people struggle with the same emotions, the same sin, the same hearts that need a tune-up every day of our life.

Love, Mom

 

 

 

 

 

 

She Did What She Could

Dear Daughters,

My friend Christina called me a few weeks ago, crying as she was driving home from visiting her mom who resides in an assisted living home.  Sitting in a wheel chair and unable to speak, Christina’s mom was sad, lonely and confused.

The afternoon had witnessed beautiful autumn weather, the leaves losing their chlorophyll and becoming the auburns, reds and yellows that mingle with the splendor of the blue sky.  Christina had pushed her mom around the gorgeous garden in the courtyard area for an hour, chatting about the stories of children and grandchildren, reminiscing about days and years gone by.

After coming back to the room Christina sang some favorite hymns to her mom who was able to mouth some of the well-known choruses along with her daughter.  Then it was time to go and along with the farewell, tears flowed from both mother and daughter.  Tears of lament and frustration, grieving the difficulty of an aging body and wondering what uncertainties tomorrow will bring.  Christina ended her narrative of the afternoon with the words

I feel so helpless, there’s nothing I can do to help.

As I was listening a verse sprang into my mind

She did what she could.

I had read that sentence a few days earlier from the story of a woman who poured a year’s wages worth of perfume over the head of Jesus several days before he was crucified.  As others in the room were indignant at this obvious waste of money, Jesus rebuked them and told them to leave her alone because she had done a beautiful thing. He said:

She did what she could to prepare my body for burial.

I spoke those words to my friend and reminded her that whatever she did to her mother she had also done to Jesus.

We often forget those precious words of Jesus in Matthew 25:40:

I’m telling the solemn truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers or sisters of mine, that was me – you did it to me.

Because we humans are made in the image of God, we are valuable no matter what stage of life we are in.  Rich or poor, sick or well, crabby or cheerful, when we do any act of kindness to another, Jesus is receiving and blessing that act.

You have cared for your husbands, even forgiven them when you felt no emotional love at all.  You have cooked meals for them even when your heart was breaking with trials in life.  You have rocked your babies to sleep when they were sick during the middle hours of the night.  You have helped those who reached out for mercy and you have been blessed by Jesus.

In our culture today, those little acts of kindness do not make headlines, but they are making headlines in the unseen Kingdom of God. How it brings joy to the Father when he sees his children loving those whom others dismiss as insignificant, unimportant and invisible to society.

A few months ago, my birthday morning arrived and I was none too happy for it.  The morning had started poorly and I was not eager to face the rest of the day.  I had a few errands to do in town that morning and while preparing to leave, I unexpectedly remembered what Ann Voskamp had done on her birthday that had also started poorly.  She pulled herself out of bed and she along with her family had decided to bless others by bringing flowers to a nursing home, cookies to the police station, leaving cash in random spots in a dollar store, paying the bill for an elderly gentleman’s entire grocery cart, plus many other intentional acts of kindness.

So, I gathered some cash together and prayed for Jesus to show me who needed to be blessed on that specific day.  My errands took several hours and I saw many people, but was not impressed to give any money away until I was at my last stop. I saw an elderly gentleman coming into Simerly’s when I was going out, so I stopped him and told him it was my birthday and I wanted to bless him.  When he looked at the money I placed in his hand his eyes filled with tears.  He was a veteran, and often picked up bottles and cans in order to buy food – just scrapping by – he said. We chatted for a few minutes, he telling me some struggling stories of his life.  He was so grateful for the gift and asked if he could give me a hug.  We did, said goodbye, and my heart was filled with joy.

I still wanted to give away more but had not seen another opportunity until I was turning the last bend on the way out of town and I saw a mother pushing someone in a large stroller. I pulled off to the side of the road and waited for her to walk up to my car.  When she got near, I got out and said Hi, noticing that her boy was probably about six years old and both legs were in casts; he was wearing a diaper.

Greeting the mother, I asked how she and her son were doing.  She was so excited because on that very day her son would get the casts off his legs and be able to walk for the first time in three years.  I smiled with eagerness, sharing her joy and spoke to her son about how exciting it would be for him. Unable to speak any words, his eyes shone with delight, obviously understanding everything I said.  His name was Lucian, his mother told me, meaning Man of Light. She gratefully accepted my gift and we parted ways.

I finished the 10-minute drive home with joy in my heart.  What had started as a day of mourning turned out to be a day of rejoicing because of two simple acts of kindness I was able to do.

A few days ago the news shrieked the dreadful Las Vegas killings. Senseless, unthinkable, so horrific we cannot grasp with our minds how it was possible.  We lament, sick with revulsion.  Anxiety can climb into our hearts, fear can paralyze our souls if we listen and continually dwell on the horror.

But as Martin Luther King Jr. said so eloquently,

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that.

Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.

Do the small acts of kindness, be the gift to another  even when you feel like you have nothing to give.  In this world that is becoming increasingly dark with evil, a candle of kindness and caring will shine more brightly than ever.

Always remember, no matter how small your act of compassion, both you and Jesus will be blessed – for whatever you do to the least of these, you have done it to Him.

Love, Mom

 

 

 

 

 

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