Branches and Trees

Musings on Marriage

Month: December 2021

Contentment at Christmas

December 20, 2021 / / 6 Comments

Dear Daughters,

It was two weeks before Christmas and I didn’t even have my wreath up yet.  Thanksgiving decorations were sitting around waiting to go into the storage box, then heading down for the basement.  The Christmas tree was still in its box.  I cancelled my piano student’s Christmas recital, and everything is different this year, not at all going as planned.

That’s probably been the story of every one of you sometime or other – we all have plans for our lives, and rarely do they go according to our idea of how they should.  Sometimes there are disappointments, sometimes unexpected joys, sickness, heartache and grief, while it seems like the rest of the world is joyful and festive. 

It would be easy for me to dwell on what I don’t have – energy because of ongoing covid fatigue, the loss of a beautiful evening of Christmas music from the students I love, the extra work it takes to care for dad, missing out on events I had hoped to be a part of.  And to be truthful, I have been disappointed, sometimes angry and frustrated about how drastically our lives have changed. 

But after grieving my losses, I have chosen instead to dwell on what I can do – call up a home health care service and ask for help from a woman with lots of energy, enjoy watching and listening to The Messiah, ask for help from some grandchildren and their parents, hire a snowplowing service to clear our driveway this winter.  Dad has always been able to snow blow and shovel our driveway and sidewalks, but there comes a time to pass the work on to someone else. 

I’ve always loved the verse, I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.  But it wasn’t until a few years ago that I found that verse in context.  Paul, who penned these words as he was sitting in a Roman prison, wrote the following rather astounding sentences:

…I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am.  I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me…

Philippians 4:11-13

Contentment is the main subject, and suffering can be our greatest teacher.  While we have no control over whether or not we will contract an illness, we can learn to decide how we live during that time – be it a short time or long.  We can choose to lament why me? and see the unfairness of it all, or we can come to the point of surrendering the circumstances of our lives to Jesus and finding contentment in whatever comes our way.  It seems counterintuitive, but contentment is a by-product of the strength Jesus gives us. 

 I will be honest, there were a few days during our covid adventure that I was not content.  When I first learned Dad was coming home and I was still struggling with the virus, I was frustrated – How can I take care of him, an oxygen tank, a walker, a back brace… when I’m only able to be off the couch a few hours a day?  But after I spoke about all my inadequacies and irritation to Jesus (He’s usually the first one I vent to) I found out that a few hours a day off the couch was all I needed.  Friends and family brought food, nurses were nearby virtually, and we both started improving slowly but surely. 

I cry aloud to the Lord; I lift up my voice to the Lord for mercy.

I spill out all my complaints before him, and spell out my troubles in detail.

Psalm 142:1-2

When we come to the end of our own strength and cry out for help, He often sends assistance through other people. So much food was provided that we had to put some in the freezer for a time, young and energetic children and grandchildren helped move around furniture and put up decorations, assisted with the outdoor work we were unable to do, and now… all is well.

Thank you all for generously giving to us,

Love, Mom

A Different Thanksgiving

December 2, 2021 / / 4 Comments

Dear Daughters,

Our Thanksgiving celebration this year looked a lot different than usual.  Dad was in the hospital for 2 weeks, so we’ve seen each other here and there in the hospital, as we track Dad’s progress on the family Google Docs, MyChart from Metro Hospital, and the daily Dr. updates.  I’ve learned way more than I ever wanted to know about Covid and the fourth floor at Metro.  Yet I am so thankful for the many people I’ve met, from the ambulance guys (at our house 2 times in 5 days) to the ER staff, all those young whippersnapper doctors and nurses who look like they are fresh out of high school (yet they seem to know what they are talking about.)  The kind nurses, food servers, housekeeping staff, PT and OT therapists, chaplains and countless others who came every day with kind words and caring hearts.  Even the welcome desk people recognize us and ask how we are doing. 

I have always been amazed at the medical community, how they have given their lives to help people who are sick to regain strength, every day seeing what’s wrong with human bodies instead of what’s right with them.  Our bodies are so incredibly complex, fearfully and wonderfully made, and although they are typically well, one little microscopic organism can almost shut a body right down.

As you know, at the beginning of dad’s hospitalization he was so sick we thought we would lose him.  Many people were praying, as were we.  Most of our family were sick with Covid as well so at the beginning we were unable to visit.  Dad was sick, struggling to breathe, scared and secluded.

During that time, on one dark and lonely night at home, I simply surrendered Dad to Jesus saying, Your will be done.  I was too sick to do anything else, only able to say those four words.  But with that I fell asleep and slept peacefully. 

The next morning, there was a turnaround with Dad.  We were able to visit (some driving together in the covid van, the others separately). He became hopeful and fought to live and not die.

I wonder if knowing and truly believing the word Emmanuel – God with Us – makes a difference.  God with us.  A person, not a philosophy or an idea, but a real person – our Creator – is with us always.  When we forget about Emmanuel, fear and anxiety consume, doubt and despair control our thoughts.  But when we pause to believe and dwell on the fact that Our God is with us – even if we don’t feel like He is – then there is peace.

Someone is actually here, Someone unseen who is actually closer than the next unseen breath that fills your lungs,

and that which is unseen can be here, keeping you alive.

Ann Voskamp

I don’t know why Dad was spared and others aren’t; life is unfair and suffering abounds. I have cared for some whose bodies left this weary world and I have cared for those who have lived.  We always need to mourn with those who mourn, weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice. 

To always remember God is with us, no matter what darkness and pain we suffer, we know we are never alone, and that is the only comfort we have – in life and in death.

Love, Mom

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