Musings on Marriage

Month: March 2022

Fire and Water

Dear Daughters,

We’ve all heard Jesus’ statement, Love your neighbor as yourself.  Many of us are able to do that, depending on who our neighbor is – some cows in the neighboring field or some non-obnoxious people living next door.  But when He says,

Love your enemies,

bless those who curse you,

do good to those who hate you,

and pray for those accusing you falsely, and persecuting you…

this brings human relationships up to a whole other level.  In our world today, love for someone outside our tribe of opinion seems to have become a vanishing species.  It is quite rare to hear about those who actually bless the people who are cursing them, or those who love their enemies.  Turn on any news channel: the political Left blames the Right, the Right blames the Left and never the twain shall meet.  We tend to unite with those who agree with us, and to a certain extent we should.  But there are numerous times when we will be near those with whom we disagree.  Jesus calls us to love those who hate us, not necessarily to become best friends with them, but treat them with dignity simply because they are made in the image of God. 

Tensions were fiery high before Covid hit the scene, but now there are some who are willing to bring division in their own families instead of yielding their position on masks.  There are others who are willing to divide or destroy churches instead of yielding their position on vaccines.  I have many friends who have been vaccinated, and many who haven’t, but God loves the vaxxed and the unvaxxed and so will I.

When Jesus gives us a command such as Love your enemies and bless those who curse you…, He will also provide the circumstances by which we are to learn this important truth.  No one is born loving their enemies, it is a fruit grown from the indwelling of the Spirit.  

It’s easy to be a skeptic but quite difficult to love people. The world is full of cynics, there are many less lovers of people – those who speak kindness and honor instead of shame and judgement.   Have you ever considered that maybe the people God brings into your life are there to refine the rough edges of our personality?   

God uses the elements of fire and water to refine us, in order to transform our weaknesses into strengths, turn our hate and indifference into love.

Just as water can be used for good, it can also cause destruction.  In my younger years I have laughed and played in the calm clear shallows of the Pacific Ocean, and yet I have heard stories of people in that same ocean who have been caught in a deadly, treacherous riptide.  Water has the power to wash our clothes and irrigate our fields or wipe out entire cities with a single tsunami wave.

Sometimes people speak words to us that are like a cool refreshing drink on a hot summer’s day.  Other times the words spoken to us hit with the strength of a hurricane – they degrade and make us feel like we are melting into a puddle on the floor.  The words echo through our minds for years, ricocheting in our head so they appear to become the truth of who we are.

Fire also has its contradictions.  It invites us to come closer when the weather is cold – a fire on the hearth gives us a promise of warmth, but get too close and it will burn.  Controlled fires give comfort but uncontrolled wildfires will consume.  A lit candle can give us light on our way, yet it can burn an entire forest and bring devastation and ashes in its wake.

The same can be felt with words that are warm and gentle, encouraging and uplifting.  But when we spit out words of judgment and harsh criticism we harm and belittle those around us, burning up every ounce of stability that might have existed in their fragile world.

When those burning words come to dice us up, remember we are never alone.  When an avalanche of icy words lands on your ears, remember Your God has redeemed you.

Fear not, for I have redeemed you;

I have called you by name, you are mine.

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;

And through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;

When you walk through fire you shall not be burned,

And the flame shall not consume you.

Isaiah 43:1-2

Notice that even before the water and fire are mentioned, the Lord says Fear not, for we have already been redeemed and called by name.  Also, you see that the passing through water and fire is not an “if” possibility, but is distinctly a “when” occurrence.  Lisa Bevere says,

As Isaiah penned it here, we know ahead of time that the water and fire courses of life are unavoidable and not necessarily the result of mistakes on our part.

When we go through relationships with difficult people (enemies who sometimes feel like fire and floods) we can remember that Jesus has never asked us to do anything He has not already done.  He will be with you always, and you will not be consumed.  He loved the people who whipped Him, spat on Him and nailed Him to the cross.  Because He lives within us, we too have the power and the choice to love those who malign our reputations or mock our beliefs. 

God will fight for you, you just have to be still.  When others betray or harm you, let Jesus be your shield and speak words of love in return.  Then you will shine like stars in the dark sky.

Love, Mom

Caterpillar to a Butterfly

Dear Daughters,

We stroll through life sometimes, thinking everything will continue to be as good as it is today, until suddenly it isn’t.  We fall into a pit – never see it coming – but there we sit in a deep dark hole. Have you ever fallen into the proverbial pit yourself?  A hole of self-pity, throwing a woe is me party for yourself and no one shows?  I’ve done it far too many times.  Sometimes I awake in the morning with the dread of starting a new day because of a poor night sleep, and am tired even before I put my feet on the ground.

Every morning I say, This is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it…  that is, every morning I remember.  Today it was quite a while after I woke simply because I forgot and didn’t feel like rejoicing, I felt like complaining: Why did I have another short night?  Why do I have such sorrow in my heart?  The war in Ukraine has taken a toll on many of us, the heartbreak of seeing in real time one country brazenly attacking another with no provocation.

After coming out of the Covid years, many of us were hoping that our lives would calm down and get back to normal – whatever normal may look like.  But now there is another world crisis.

It’s amazing to me when most every created thing in our world lives, grows and behaves just how God planned for them.  Flowers grow and bloom, sharing their beauty with the world, thinking nothing of themselves but only bringing joy to their Maker as well as people all around them.  Or take a scampering squirrel – I love to watch their playful antics as they run up a tree as another squirrel chases them down – their joy is laughable and contagious.  Think about dogs who love their owners, listen to whatever troubles their people have and get all wiggly and excited when you come home?  Or how about the lowly caterpillar, waiting patiently for its metamorphosis?

Plants and animals live the purpose for which they were created to live; trees give fruit, vines grow multiple varieties of squash and the stars shine brilliantly in the sky at night.  The sun shines and gives warmth, even on a cold winter day.  You never see a star wishing it was a cloud, or a daisy wishing it was a dog.  Every part of creation does just what they were created for – except for people.

What is it that people were created to do?  Just like the plants and animals, we were created to give glory and praise to our Maker. 

Have you ever considered the wonder of a wormy little caterpillar transforming into a butterfly?  The life cycle begins when the female adult butterfly lays her eggs (the size of a pinhead) on any variety of plants.  In just 3 – 7 days the caterpillars will emerge out of the eggs and start eating whatever leaf they were born on and others like it.  They eat and eat and eat.  In just 2 weeks of full-time eating, they are about two inches long and a hundred times the size of the egg from which they were born. 

When the caterpillar is finished eating and full grown, it hangs from the plant and becomes a chrysalis for several weeks, looking as if it were dead.  But inside a miracle of transformation is happening.  Metamorphosis is going on, a caterpillar becoming a butterfly.

What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly.

Richard Bach

To the caterpillar, it must look like his life is over and he is dying, never to do anything of value again.  Maybe I’m giving too much credence to this little humble creature, I’m sure his thoughts are not quite that profound.  But even to the untrained human eye it looks like his life is gone and perhaps forgotten.

Do you ever feel like you are wrapped up in a cocoon, nothing growing or changing and it feels as if your life is over?  I think we’ve all been there at one time or many.  When you are in the pit, it sometimes feels like a cocoon – dark and tight.  But, since Jesus promised He would never leave or forsake us, we know He’s in the pit or cocoon with you and me. 

But we often feel forsaken, forgotten.  Feelings cannot always be trusted, because even though we feel alone, our God is with us no matter what. And that is a promise from the Creator who made you.

Just like the caterpillar, Jesus is changing us, transforming us into a people who will glorify Him.  When it seems like the end of the world, and all looks dark, be not afraid, for He transforms us into beautiful butterflies.  It is only then that we too, like the rest of creation, will do what we have been called to do.  Instead of warring with other people we will learn to love; instead of considering only our own selfish desires we will look out for the good of others. 

God looks at the chaos and all He sees is beauty waiting to emerge.

Curt Thompson

Let’s shine our light just as the humble butterflies, flowers, squirrels and dogs do.  Praising our Creator without restraint, knowing He is bringing us to a place of comfort and peace where there is no fear, no matter what happens all around us.

Love, Mom

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