Branches and Trees

Musings on Marriage

Month: August 2022

Human Amphibians?

August 31, 2022 / / 0 Comments

Dear Daughters,

When you and I were in school we learned about some critters who are called Amphibians.  The most common is the frog.  If you put a frog into a tank of water without a dry place to crawl onto it will die, but if you place it in a terrarium with no water, it will also die.  Amphibians need both water and dry ground to thrive.

As frogs need both realms in order to thrive, so we humans are designed to live in two worlds – both the seen and the unseen world.  Of course, we are not cold-blooded creatures which all true amphibians are, yet we were intended to enjoy the benefits of two ecosystems, the physical and the spiritual, the earth and the heavens. 

The natural world was created with such beauty, it is saturated with wonders pleasing to all our senses.  Just look at your Facebook feed this time of year – vacations are being taken everywhere natural beauty exists.  Walking through a dimly-lit forest or with sand between your toes on the beach of a beautiful lake is like taking a vitamin (N for nature).  Simply untangling from technology can become a calm and peaceful reprieve.  Dad and I love to drive along Lake Michigan during any season of the year, enjoying the summer lush green vegetation, the majestic autumn colors in the fall or the frozen splendor of the lake in the winter.

But along with this beauty of creation we were also made to live in the spiritual world, to draw upon the supernatural strength, life-giving hope and joy that only Jesus can provide.  There are days when I feel totally alive, hopeful and trusting in God.  There are also days when I forget Him, become disappointed with Him, causing my faith to feel flat or even fake.  Hopelessness can become an infection in my soul, creeping in slowly and sometimes imperceptibly until I find myself in a dark pit. 

Like an injured animal that cannot keep up with the herd, one can become vulnerable to the predator who wants to drag our soul into Desolation.  We have an enemy of our soul who would like nothing more than for you and I to become hopeless and despairing of life.

John Eldredge writes about the human emotions, trying to live in this world using our own strength, watching the world become more divided and falling into chaos:

The symptoms [of Desolation] include a sort of dullness of heart, a poverty of spirit,

a barrenness of soul.  Disappointment, so understandable given the circumstances,

collapses into disillusionment.  Neither hope nor joy comes easily.

Because we are amphibians, we don’t have to rely on our own strength, but we have the Holy Spirit from whom to draw our strength.  Surprisingly, as Paul wrote to his friends in Colossae,

We pray that you’ll have the strength to stick it out over the long haul –

not the grim strength of gritting your teeth but the glory-strength God gives.

It is strength that endures the unendurable and spills over into joy,

thanking the Father who makes us strong enough to take part in everything

bright and beautiful that He has for us.

(Colossians 1:11-12)

Now when I think about God giving strength, I often assume that He would give strength to do exciting stuff like miracles or healings. But in this verse the simple fact of being able to endure through difficult life situations with joy and thanksgiving comes as strength from the Spirit.  It’s nothing outwardly amazing, nothing that would make news headlines, but in today’s world it is rather rare to find people who have joy. 

When we have a firm attachment to God – trusting His timing and wisdom – disillusionment, abandonment and other desolate feelings are eased. 

As Brennan Manning has written,

Define yourself radically as one beloved by God.

This is the true self.

Every other identity is illusion.

If we try to rely only on our own strength we cannot thrive, just like the frog trying to live only on land or only in water.  As human amphibians we need our physical strength undergirded with supernatural strength reigning in our body to endure – not just hang on – but to endure with joy and thanksgiving. 

When many of Jesus’ disciples were turning away from Him because of difficulty, He asked 12 of his closest disciples,

Are you also going to leave?

 Peter replied,

But Lord, where will we go?  No one but You gives us the revelation of eternal life.

Continue to endure with joy by God’s supernatural strength.

Love, Mom

The Author of My Story

August 18, 2022 / / 2 Comments

Dear Daughters,

In J.R.R. Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings, Sam and Frodo have experienced many adventures far away from their comfortable hobbit holes, both wonders and dangers.  They’ve fought a battle on Weathertop, seen the beauty of Rivendell, the dark mines of Moria and now they are standing in the shadow of Mordor.  It is then when Sam asks a question,

I wonder what sort of tale we’ve fallen into?

He assumes there is a story.  Something larger has been going on before they ever arrived and they have somehow tumbled into it.  Sam and Frodo know they aren’t the authors of their story, because there has been a lineage of people who have gone before them, and they are honored, yet a little fearful to be playing their unique roles in this same story. 

It may be a benefit for us all if we were to ask that very question of ourselves,

What sort of tale have I fallen into?

If we don’t know our purpose – the reason we are living on this earth – if we think we’re an accident, then we flounder our way through life.  As Neil Postman said about the scientific view to which many people hold:

In the end, science does not supply the answers most of us require.

Its story of our origins and our end is, to say the least, unsatisfactory.

To the question `How did it all begin?’, science answers,

`Probably by an accident.’  To the question, `How will it all end?’

Science answers, `Probably by an accident.’  And to many people,

The accidental life is not worth living.  (Science and the Story we Need)

If we think our life is an accident, we may conclude that we are the author of our own story.  Yet a simple fact remains: we have no control over tomorrow, today, or even this moment.  Trying to become our own author brings more stress and anxiety than any human is capable of bearing.  Trying to figure out why everything happens in a day, plus worrying about tomorrow puts us in a never-ending Ring around the rosy chase in our mind.  Ashes, Ashes, we all fall down…

When we look at the thousands of years in which billions of people have lived on this earth, chances are nil that our small story will be one that becomes a subject for a famous biography.  In fact, do you even know the name of your great-great-grandmother- much less anything about her?  I think I learned the name of mine once, but I know nothing about her life.

When we know the Author of our story, and the simple fact that there is a larger story into which we have been born, we find that we do have a purpose.  We exist because Jesus dreamt us up.  When God, the Author of our story, created people, He made us in His image. Because we can be certain of the fact that our birth wasn’t an accident, we can freely move forward and seek out what our purpose is – by simply asking the Author of the Grand Story.

Remember – the battle right now is for the narrative; who gets to frame the story for you?  Either it will be God, or someone else.

John Eldredge

If we allow our society to frame our story, we are expected to figure out many questions on our own:

Who am I?

Why am I here?

What is my purpose?

Where am I going?

Was I born into the wrong body?

Am I just an accident?

But if you allow God to frame your story, He assures you that He created your inmost being, He knit you together in your mother’s womb.  Body, soul, and spirit, you are marvelously made and have been sculpted from a precious embryo into a person of value.  He loves you and has a purpose for your life if you choose to submit to Him.  You are not an accident, and if invited He will show you your part in His Story.

Unfortunately, many children and teenagers today are being taught in school and on social media that they are not part of a bigger story, therefore they are required to create a story of their own – from ground zero. When a child has nothing absolute in their life, confusion reigns in every area of their life. 

John Eldredge writes about students entering college,

Eighteen is the new twelve. Our students are emotionally underdeveloped,

they are much less resilient than any we’ve ever encountered,

and I’m not entirely sure why.

I’m guessing part of the reason is because students are often left to themselves, trying to figure out and write their own story and decide what their role is in life.  That’s an overwhelming responsibility for an adult, much more for children and teens. 

I have a friend, Emily, who worked as a news producer for WWTV-TV in Cadillac, Michigan, for 3 years and is now working for CRU- a caring community passionate about connecting people to Jesus Christ.  Emily used to photograph and report on world and local news.  Still a reporter, she says now,

I am a missionary with a camera,

 and I get to tell stories that glorify God…all over the world

Knowing that Jesus is the Author of your story will bring peace and assurance, take lots of pressure off your mind, and you may even find joy in the process.

Charity Gayle, one of my current favorite singers has an amazing song, New Name Written Down In Glory, with a line that goes,

I’ve met the Author of my story, and He’s mine…

I am who I am because the I AM tells me who I am.

Enjoy!

Love, Mom

Sagebrush and Sunflowers

August 10, 2022 / / 4 Comments

Dear Daughters,

When Dad and I were in Idaho, we drove out to the Camas Prairie, a wilderness where there are lots more cattle than people.  There’s probably a lot more acreage than the number of residents as well.  We decided to take a shortcut to our destination, which happened to be on a dusty dirt road – of which there are many in Idaho. 

We drove for miles and miles seeing mostly sagebrush, unadorned mountains and rocks.  It’s a lovely desolate drive and quite diverse from the valley where we used to live, so we drove bumpity-bump along a slightly graveled road, enjoying the bare dry desert.

Suddenly we came upon the prettiest little sunflowers lining that dry simple road.  I was shocked and amazed, wondering how there was enough moisture for them to grow in this parched, deserted country.  Seeing these flowers in the midst of an otherwise barren land was such a delight and brought a smile to my face as I wondered how the seeds ever received enough water to flourish on the sides of the road, bringing beauty and color to the Camas Prairie.

As we continued to travel, the sagebrush, dirt and rocks reminded me of the culture we are now living in daily.  It has become a culture of outrage, a culture of desolation, everyone wanting their opinion to be heard, harsh answers, brutal judgments of others – a cancel culture.  Sadly, many believe

If you don’t agree with me, I will cancel you as a person, I will cut you out of my life and count you as non-human with no value whatsoever.

Once we start thinking of people in this manner, we are basically throwing rocks and dirt at each other.  It’s unpleasant, ugly, dangerous and divisive.  Whenever a person is labeled only as part of an ethnic people group, a religious ideology or a certain political leaning, we have certifiably canceled them as a human being. 

Every society creates dividing lines among people groups, categorizing them into hierarchies of importance according to the powers that be. We have all created caste systems in our own minds which are often acted out toward those we deem worthy or not worthy of our acceptance.

Jesus had 12 disciples and there was an incredible diversity within those men.  Four were blue collar workers (fishermen), one was a tax collector working for the Roman government (think IRS), another was a Zealot – usually from a political party desiring to get out from under the brutal Roman rule.  Diverse, yet learning to become united under Jesus, they grew in unity.  Yes they had their disagreements, some thinking they were better than the others – they were typical humans.  But Jesus taught them how to love each other and those who were not like them in belief or ethnicity – the weak, the sick, the blind, the sex-workers and the forgotten.  Anyone who was human and came near Jesus was treated with dignity.

In his book, A Gentle Answer, Scott Sauls reminds us that Jesus loved us at our worst and if we are followers of Jesus, we are commanded to love others at their worst.  He says,

Jesus has been gentle toward us, so we have good reason to become gentle toward others, including those who treat us like enemies.  “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’  But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of Your Father who is in heaven.” Matt. 5:43-45.  Because Jesus has covered all of our offenses, we can be among the least offensive and the least offended people in the world.  This is the way of the gentle answer.

Having a gentle answer has nothing to do with being weak.  Weakness is often shown in destruction and harm to other people’s bodies and physical property.  Weakness is using intimidation and wrath, harming others with words, belittling someone who disagrees with you. Anyone can let anger overtake their emotions and act out in violence, destroying with rage anything in their path.  It’s easy to criticize and tear down.

Speaking a gentle answer, especially toward those you disagree with, takes an incredible amount of restraint, a strength that requires the deepest and most courageous kind of faith.  A faith that ultimately believes in the justice of God, that He will work good out of evil – but in His time, not ours.

Seeing those delicate beautiful sunflowers among all the dry and brittle sage brush is a reminder of what kind words and a gentle answer look like in our culture of shouting opinions and judgments on others.  We have no power to change anyone’s opinion or ideology, especially not by belittling and mocking but we do have power to change ourselves and give a respectful and kind response to whatever words come our way.

Lord, give us strength to give a gentle answer and become sunflowers in a desert wasteland.

Love, Mom

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