Branches and Trees

Musings on Marriage

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Ronald McDonald House

November 23, 2023 / / 2 Comments

McDonald’s has never been my place of choice for breakfast, lunch or dinner.  But Ronald McDonald’s House – now that’s a completely different story.  I checked into Spokane, Washington’s RMD house a few weeks ago because my daughter Amanda, delivered her daughter, Jubal, six weeks earlier than planned.  I flew from Michigan to help Michael and Amanda care for their son Onyx as they made many trips to and from the NICU at Sacred Heart Hospital and as Michael drove to work in Walla Walla staying several days at a time.

From the moment I stepped in the door at RMD, the staff was kind, the rooms and kitchen areas were pristine, and I felt completely valued and cared for.  At dinner time a huge meal was brought into the kitchen area – sausage jambalaya and rice – and was free for whoever was hungry.  The next morning there was a pan filled with pounds of crispy bacon just out of the oven, miniature quiches, a luscious apple coffee cake and cinnamon rolls.  As I was filling my plate with a bountiful hot breakfast, I asked the people who had brought such a feast who they were and why they were doing this.  They said they were from the local TV station, wanting to give to those who were having a difficult time with loved ones in the nearby hospitals. All the cooks were filled with joy as they brought more and more food out of the ovens, and our joy was immense as well.

Not all meals were furnished, but it was a delight when they were.  One Saturday night four young women from a local Gonzaga Sorority brought us spaghetti and meat balls for supper.  Michael asked them why they would spend their Saturday buying, preparing and delivering a meal to strangers whom they had never met.  They replied that as a Sorority they decided to do some service projects and chose the RMD House.

I talked to some other parents who had been there much longer than we.  One mother told us she was celebrating her 80th day with twin girls in NICU, and yet she spoke of her time here as being such a blessing.  One of the twins was born at 1 lb. 5 oz., the other 2 lbs. 10 oz.   I had no idea a child born that small could even survive.  I heard story after story of setbacks, then small victories, yet each day putting one foot in front of another, parents continuing to care for their children.  One mother has been pumping her breasts for milk for almost 3 months, each morning bringing in more bottles…  Such stories of a mother’s love are simply amazing. 

One night there was a gentleman from the community who came to give free chair massages to anyone who wanted one.  Apparently, he comes every Sunday evening simply to bless others. It was lovely.

Another day Isaac, the Comfort Dog came with his owner so we could pet him and receive comfort from this beautiful gentle animal.

Onyx and I spent hours on the playground and in the playrooms scattered throughout the RMD House.  Being a 2-year-old boy, he was naturally full of energy, but we found lots of interesting places for it to be released. 

After two weeks at the RMD House it was time to go home.  I flew East and little Jubal and her family drove South as we treasured all these beautiful memories in our hearts.  Amazingly, there was no charge for our 2-week stay!   The RMD House made a difficult time much easier to enjoy. 

Thank you to the many volunteers throughout the nation who care for the people who live temporarily in Ronald McDonald Homes – to me you are heroes!

Simplicity

October 30, 2023 / / 3 Comments

A friend and I have been reading the fascinating biography of Moses lately and it is quite amazing.  We are at the end of his life, as he is handing the mantle to Joshua.  Joshua has been Moses’ right-hand man for decades, so it wasn’t completely unexpected, but let’s face it – it’s a huge job to take over the leadership of more than a million people in the middle of a desert.

What I found amazing was the simplicity of the instructions God gave to Joshua as he was getting ready to cross the Jordan River along with the Israelis.

            Don’t ’be afraid

            Trust Me

            Be strong and courageous

            Listen and obey

            Meditate on My words

            I’ll be with you

There were many unknowns for Joshua, just like there are many unknowns in our futures, yet these are the most important instructions God gave him.  It got me wondering if they would be the best instructions for us as we live in a world thousands of years later, also full of uncertainty.

They are simple and concise, easy to remember, but it may be a bit more difficult when distractions come into focus.  One of my friends has the simplest of all instructions when crushing anxiety shows up:

Trust God and breathe.

There is much in our world to become stressed about, but one thing is sure – worrying about it won’t change a thing.  We certainly can complain, grumble and be troubled about many details of life, but what will change? Absolutely nothing.

My all-time favorite quote is from Mr Rogers:

Life is deep and simple,

But our society has made it shallow and complicated.

Have you ever heard the acronym ROI?  Yeah, me neither, but I recently learned it means: Return on your investments.  If you invest minutes and hours worrying about everything in your life, you will certainly receive a return on that – mainly continued anxiety, panic attacks and perhaps ulcers.  

But if you invest minutes, hours and days meditating on the goodness of God and His direction to:

Be strong and courageous

Not be afraid

Meditate on My love for you….

Remember, remember, remember that God is for you and will take care of you,

…then the (ROI) return on your investment will be peace and joy, all which comes from Holy Spirit. 

I’d much rather have peace than anxiety, how about you?

Jesus, I give everyone and everything to You

Love & War

September 23, 2023 / / 0 Comments

Have you ever noticed that the story of the Bible begins with a marriage and ends with a marriage?  In their book Love and War, John and Stasi Eldredge point out that the epic story of human history, spanning thousands of years, begins with a couple.  As God unfolds the beautiful, frightening, mysterious story of His love, there is not some lone hero standing against the world, but a man and a woman – a marriage.

Then in the book of Revelation, the last book in the Bible, there appears a white horse and its rider, ready for the great battle of Armegeddon, and the end of the world as we know it. Finally a feast – a wedding feast.  The wedding here is between Jesus Christ and his bride, the Church.

In a sense, marriage is a picture of the Kingdom of God.  It is meant to bring glory to God because,

God is love and where there is love, there is God. (Mother Teresa)

When we love each other in our marriages, forgive when there are offenses (and there will be offenses every day), sacrifice for one another, never give up hope, always persevere in the difficult times of life, we are modeling what the love of God is all about.

The bottom line story of the Bible is Love.  God loves us and He wants us to love one another.  Sounds simple, but as you and I know, it’s not.  Why?  Because this beautiful love story is set in the middle of a dreadful war.

Think of all the fairy tales that you love.  One of my favorites is The Little Mermaid by Hans Christian Anderson, later made into a Disney movie. If you remember the movie, that love story is placed in a war as well.  Ursula, the sea witch, was doing everything she could to keep Ariel and the Prince from marrying, making a mockery of love.  In the end, the Prince and Ariel did marry but not without a battle of heroic proportions.

Think of the famous girls and boys in other adventure stories you have read: Shasta and Aravis in The Horse and His Boy, being driven together by Aslan; Hansel and Gretel holding hands together for safety in the dark woods; Beauty and the Beast learning to love so that they will both be free.  People all over the world love those stories.  Why?  Maybe it’s because we want to live stories like that as well.

The honeymoon of Adam and Eve barely started when the serpent successfully snakes in with a plan to break everyone’s heart.  His deceptive lie separated the humans from God and from each other.  Now there was distrust, blaming, shaming, and betrayal.  Satan’s plan has not changed one bit since then, he comes only to kill, steal and destroy.

But in this, the world’s darkest moment, love shines through.  In spite of chronic unbelief on our part, God pledges to love and pursue you and me.  He does this through the great Prince, son of the King, Jesus Christ.  Christianity is truly the most preeminent love story the world has ever known.

This story is not over, it is still unfolding right now, even as you are reading.  The terrible clash between the Kingdom of God and the kingdom of darkness continues.  At the core of this age old struggle, there is one overarching question that is being raised: Can a kingdom of love prevail?  God vows that Love never fails, (1 Corinthians 13:8) but the world laughs and the devil laughs.  Sometimes we laugh too.  It sounds so naïve.  Love seems so weak when compared to the evil surrounding us.

Your marriage is set in the middle of this story, the age-old beautiful story of God pursuing His people; it is a story of redemption, a story of love.  But that story is opposed, because it is an outrageously brazen story to illustrate His heart of love toward us.

It seems that if we as married couples can’t find a great battle to fight together we’ll start one with each other.  For years I saw my husband as the enemy of our marriage.  He wouldn’t agree with me on how to raise our daughters – on which movies to watch, how to discipline, decisions on spending money….and on and on.  So I fought with him, fighting for my opinion to win, my view to be the right view.  Not surprisingly, this did not improve our marriage.

Then God finally opened my eyes to see the spiritual battle that was going on, a battle that could only be fought effectively with prayer and love.  You know the verse “Love your enemies, pray for those who hurt you…”?  Well, when I finally started doing what this verse says, a ray of hope sprang up in my heart.  I started trusting God to do His work, instead of me trying to change things.  And that is precisely when things started to change.

Oh how I lament the years that I tried to do things in my own power, but God is so gracious.  He patiently waits for each of us to come to the point of giving up on ourselves and giving in to Him.  He never coerces, never pressures, he simply pursues, encouraging us through his Spirit.

We are prone to wander, forget, and go back to old patterns, but for that too God is patient, forgiving and filled with grace, urging us to get up and try again.

God loves you as you are, not as you should be. (Brennan Manning)

Benevolent Detachment

August 29, 2023 / / 6 Comments

Have you ever seen a gnarly tree?  They are not particularly attractive – they twist, turn and look like they’ve been injured.  If you’ve seen the Lord of the Rings, you may remember Treebeard, one of the Ents (the living and walking trees) who befriended Merry and Pippin and let them ride in his branches as he walked along to assist them in their hunt for Frodo. Treebeard was a gnarly tree…  

It is a gnarly time to be a human being.  And God cares about your humanity… 

John Eldredge writes these words, and gnarly is a good descriptor of the era in which we live.  Twisted, rough, crooked, distorted, dangerous, hazardous, precarious, insecure – all are definitions for the word gnarly.  Some days more than others, I am tempted to feel those emotions as I look around at our country and culture.

John, along with his team at Wild at Heart, have constructed an app which has been a rescue for me.  Named The One Minute Pause, it gives space during my day to breathe, come away from the world’s problems and my own problems, and place them where they belong – on the shoulders of God.

We, as frail  human beings, were not ever expected to carry our burdens on our own; they are simply too heavy for us.  In The One Minute Pause app, the first words you hear are

I give everyone and everything to you, God.

Coming from the verse ,

Cast all your cares upon God, for He cares for you.

1 Peter 5:7

I had not heard the term Benevolent Detachment before.  I love the word Benevolent – meaning kind, compassionate, tenderhearted.  It sounds warm and loving.  Yet when benevolent is paired with the word detachment, they appear to be opposites. Jesus wants us to love people, of course, and to care about the circumstances surrounding them, but He also wants us to understand that we cannot save anyone.  We have a part to play, yet we need to be careful not to overstep into the realm God plays  in people’s lives.  It’s a little like staying in your own lane, yet driving responsibly to protect you and the people around you. 

If you look at the life of Jesus, this is exactly how he lived.  He loved well but was never dependent on people’s opinions – negative or positive – he simply cared deeply but never entangled himself in order to coerce or control.  If someone rejected Him, He walked away.  When someone wanted to be with Him, He allowed it, yet at times even He would walk away when He needed rest and solitude.  He knew He was living in a human body and had the same limitations our bodies possess.  He knew he needed rest and quiet time away from people, and he knew He was totally dependent on his Father, just as we are.

Thinking through your hours and minutes today, what or who do you need to let go of, to benevolently detach from?

Your children?

Your parents?

The text you just received?

Your expectations of the perfect life you had hoped would someday appear?

Your worries about finances?

Your husband?

Your planning for the future?

The number of likes you received from your latest social media post?

The frustrations of your job?

There are times in my past when I had the crazy idea that I was in control of my own destiny. I believed I must be the one to figure stuff out on my own, and it was up to me to make it work.  But I have learned that I have no such power.  The verse 

Cast all your cares upon God, for He cares for you

reminds me that I don’t have to carry that load, and there’s no way in the world that  I can.  Jesus has offered to bear it all, so why not let Him?  

There are many instances when we simply cannot fix our own or others’ problems.  We can’t change other people, it’s actually quite tough to bring change in our own lives.  But we can seek God and His wisdom, surrendering ourselves and others to Him.  There is simply no other way to live in peace and contentment.

If you are interested in downloading the free app, simply type into your Google search bar: One Minute Pause App and begin to give your cares and your worries to your Heavenly Father. There’s no one who cares like He does.

Who’s the Author of Your Story?

July 25, 2023 / / 2 Comments

I recently watched the trilogy of J.R.R. Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings once again.  I love seeing Sam and Frodo as they live through many adventures far away from their comfortable hobbit holes, both wonders and dangers.  They’ve fought a battle on Weathertop, seen the beauty of Rivendell, the dark mines of Moria and then, as they are standing in the long shadow of Mordor, Sam asks a question,

I wonder what sort of tale we’ve fallen into?

He assumes there is a story.  Something larger has been going on before they ever arrived and they have somehow tumbled into it.  Sam and Frodo know they aren’t the authors of their story, because there has been a lineage of people who have gone before them, and they are honored – yet a little fearful – to be playing their unique roles in this same story. 

It may benefit us all if we were to ask that very question of ourselves,

What sort of tale have I fallen into?

If we don’t know our purpose, the reason we are living on this earth, if we think we’re an accident, then we will flounder our way through life.  As Neil Postman writes about the scientific view to which many people hold:

In the end, science does not supply the answers most of us require.

Its story of our origins and our end is, to say the least, unsatisfactory.

To the question `How did it all begin?’, science answers,

`Probably by an accident.’  To the question, `How will it all end?’

Science answers, `Probably by an accident.’  And to many people,

The accidental life is not worth living.  (Science and the Story we Need)

If we think our life is an accident, we may conclude that we are the author of our own story.  Yet a simple fact remains: we have no control over tomorrow, today, or even this moment.  Thinking we are our own author brings more stress and anxiety than any human is capable of bearing.  Seeking to figure out why everything happens in a day plus worrying about tomorrow puts us in a never-ending Ring around the rosy chase in our mind.  Ashes, Ashes, we all fall down…

Because you were fashioned by a Creator who placed you in the story you are now living, you do have a part to play in this story on earth.  Remember Frodo never planned to be caught up in the epic story of The Lord of the Rings, but there he was, born into a story having many chapters played out before his own.  And because he was willing to take his place in the story already started, he was ready to meet the challenges set before him along with the other hobbits in his fellowship.

When we know the Author of our story, and the simple fact that there is a larger story into which we have been born, we find that we do have a purpose.  We exist because Jesus dreamt us up.  When God, the Author of our story, created people, He made us in His image on purpose. Because we can be certain of the fact that our birth wasn’t an accident, we can freely move forward and seek out what our purpose is – by simply asking the Author of the Grand Story.

Remember – the battle right now is for the narrative; who gets to frame the story for you?  Either it will be God, or someone else.

John Eldredge

If we allow our society to frame our story, we are expected to figure out many questions on our own:

Who am I?

Why am I here?

What is my purpose?

Where am I going?

Was I born into the wrong body?

Am I just an accident?

But if you allow God to frame your story, He assures you that He created your inmost being, He knit you together in your mother’s womb.  Body, soul, and spirit, you are marvelously made and have been sculpted into a person of value.  He loves you and has a purpose for your life if you choose to ask Him.  You are not an accident, and if invited He will show you your part in His Story.

Unfortunately, many children and teenagers today are being taught in school and on social media that they are not part of a bigger story, therefore they are required to create a story of their own – from ground zero. When a child has nothing absolute in their life, confusion reigns in every area of their life.  

Knowing that Jesus is the Author of your story brings peace and assurance, takes a lot of pressure off your mind, and you may even find joy in the process.

Charity Gayle, one of my current favorite singers has an amazing song, New Name Written Down In Glory, with a line that goes,

I’ve met the Author of my story, and He’s mine…

I am who I am because the I AM tells me who I am….

Peace in the Storm

June 29, 2023 / / 0 Comments

As we were driving to the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, enjoying the summer-time greenery of the pastures, these lines from Psalm 23 came to mind.  They come from a poem written thousands of years ago by King David, probably remembering his younger days as a shepherd caring for his father’s sheep.

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want

He makes me lie down in green pastures….

As you may remember, Jesus calls Himself the Good Shepherd, which means we are compared to sheep in a metaphorical sense.  Being equated to sheep is not necessarily a compliment because sheep are kinda stupid, they quickly stray, are dependent on others and easily frightened.

In order for sheep to lie down in peace they have need of a few important requirements.  The first one is freedom from fear.  Because sheep have a herd mentality, they are skittish and easily agitated.  If even a little jack-rabbit hops from behind a bush and one startled sheep runs in fright, it can cause the entire flock to bolt into a stampede –the rest not even looking to see what caused the ruckus. 

We too are easily carried away by fear if someone speaks terror or dread – whether it be true or false, real or imagined.  It’s so easy to run with the herd, getting caught up in a mob mentality, simply reacting to the running of those around us.

Life is hazardous, unpredictable; no one knows what fears and anxieties any moment will bring.  Usually it is the unexpected and unknown, or the fear of the unknown that throw us into a panic.  Often our first impulse is to run from the harsh complexities of life – just like the sheep.

But if we look up, we’ll see our Good Shepherd waiting for us to turn to Him, desiring that we rest and not run.  Admitting we cannot do life well on our own, he brings peace, calm and serenity – even in the midst of a terrible, horrible, no-good very bad day.

As I grow older, I am finally learning that no amount of worry, control or angst ever helped any problem I had.  It only caused fear and dread.  For years I tried to solve problems on my own, figure out and rely on my own wisdom, but rarely experienced the peace Jesus promised.

Why do we always think we can change people or control our circumstances?

Why is it so difficult to rest, to trust God to do his work in his time?

When will we ever give up and relinquish our ambitions to do God’s work for him?

Only when we choose to rest.

Another source of fear from which a shepherd delivers his sheep is rivalry, cruel competition and tension within the flock.  In the animal kingdom there is an established order of dominance, better known as a pecking order with chickens, a horning order with cattle, and a butting order among sheep. 

Usually a domineering, arrogant old ewe will be the boss of a flock.  She maintains her position by butting and driving other ewes or lambs away from the best grazing.  Then in turn they will use the same tactics of butting and shoving around those who are lower than they on the totem pole.

When there’s friction in the flock, the sheep cannot lie down in rest because they always have to be standing up to defend their rights and be on the lookout for safety.  They need to constantly be on alert, never able to let down their guard for fear of losing out on food and safety. 

But as past-shepherd Phillip Keller says,

…one point that always interested me very much was that whenever I came into view and my presence attracted their attention, the sheep quickly forgot their foolish rivalries and stopped their fighting.  The shepherd’s presence made all the difference in their behavior.

Somehow, when the guy in charge, on a much higher status than those rude sheep, comes on the scene, they forget the silly scuffling and struggle for status and lie down.  Contentment and peace within the flock ensues. 

How much that scene sounds like us humans.  We try to appear as if we have it all together, put on that toothy smile and strike a confident pose, yet still we feel the need to prove ourselves – to others as well as to us.  But when we keep our eyes on our Good Shepherd, we know we are on even ground with everyone else, that without the grace of God we would be lost – a ship without a rudder, the proverbial hamster on a wheel going round and round yet arriving nowhere.

When my eyes are on my Master, they are not on those around me.

This is the place of peace, says Keller.

Jesus is so kind, so merciful to make us lie down in green pastures.  On our own we would never do it because we’re too busy doing stuff.  It’s only when we lie down and rest, trust him for tomorrow, and give thanks for what he is doing today, that we are content being in the silence of his presence. I have laid in green pastures more than I would like, but looking back I see it was only in this quiet, surrendered, helpless pose that He was able to get my attention on Him and off myself.

Lie down, look at your Shepherd and be at rest.

Mold and Lies

June 1, 2023 / / 12 Comments

I was pondering mold the other day – it and I do not have a good working relationship.  It’s a nasty fungus that grows in the dark and has been harboring in my body for years.  I am becoming quite the expert on mold, not by choice but by necessity.  Even though it’s been hiding inside of me for decades it has finally been brought out into the light and deposed. 

For years I have treated my body well, feeding it good nutritious food and vitamins yet I was always fatigued and could rarely sleep without medication.  I’ve been to countless doctors, both mainstream medical, homeopathic, osteopathic; I have tried naturopathic docs, chiropractors, acupuncture and sleep specialists.  Numerous times I would hear the phrase,

You are a most unusual case…

 Concurrently with all this I had prayed for myself, for wisdom in finding help.  I was prayed over by other people but nothing seemed to help my body regain energy.

Until… through a series of seemingly random events I discovered that my body was harboring molds – many strains of the toxic stuff:  Aflatoxin, Ochratoxin A, Gliotoxin along with many other nasty toxins.  Finding a doctor with the knowledge of removing mold from the body was a challenge yet I was led to a detoxification specialist living in the neighboring country of Canada, not far from my home in Michigan – Zoom calls are an amazing invention.

Then I got thinking about the similarities between the darkness of mold lurking in my body and the darkness of lies lurking in our minds – lies about ourselves, others and God.  Mold in our body and lies in our mind can often mimic each other.

Many lies are fed to us through unsuspecting people.  They come to us from our parents, our siblings, our enemies, our teachers and ourselves.  Some of them may be:

I’m too much to handle

I’m a loser

I’m not enough

I’m just a burden to my people

No one likes me (especially if they really know me)

God is disappointed in me

All I deserve are the crumbs and the leftovers

When those lies come to find a home in our mind, they play on repeat – over and over until they have carved a rut in our thoughts.  When the lies we believe become louder and louder, they can sap our energy because they make us feel like we are in captivity, sitting in prison with the door locked.  But, amazingly,  the door can be opened simply by replacing those lies with the truth of who God says you are.

I am chosen

I am a treasured possession

I am fearfully and wonderfully made

I am the apple of God’s eye

God loves me!

Even if I fall, God will raise me up again

I am redeemed

I am forgiven

If our self talk is anything less than what

Jesus says about us, we have misunderstood the Cross.

Rebecca Richardson

Lies we believe in our mind can be just as debilitating as mold in our bodies.  Ask me how I know, I’ve experienced both.  Many years ago I learned to detox my mind by believing who Christ says I am.  It was not an overnight renewal, but slowly and surely I was able to believe and live as if God really sees me as his treasured possession. Now – since I’ve discovered my body’s enemy – I am going through yet another detox. 

This detox takes time and patience – it is not instantaneous. I’ve been told it will take up to 18 months to clean out all those toxins. But my energy is back, I’m sleeping better than I have in years and I am able to walk and be off the couch, instead of the 4 to 5 hours a day I used to spend resting.

Thanks be to God for his amazing gift of healing on so many levels!   

 

Unoffendable

April 25, 2023 / / 2 Comments

Did you know you can choose to be unoffendable?  Being offended is what comes natural, it’s our human default setting.  If someone makes us mad, or maybe just disagrees with us, our first impulse is to be offended. 

When I first heard of Brant Hansen’s book Unoffendable, I was offended.  I always thought it was good and healthy to be angry at some things – like sex trafficking, child pornography and civil rights abuses.  Sure, I know Jesus taught us to love others, forgive people who hurt us, be patient with those who irritate us.  But really, is that what he meant for every day?  Every time someone cuts me off in traffic, anyone who doesn’t agree with my political or religious views, people who take my innocuous comments as a reason for heated vitriol, others who are just plain mean? 

Today’s cancel culture teaches us – If you aren’t like me, if you disagree with me – I will cancel you out of my life and never speak to you again.

When I study the life of Jesus, I am amazed.  He never cancelled anyone.  Nor was He ever shocked or surprised at human behavior.  He knew that we are all basically selfish, He knew the fallen human heart was just that – fallen.  So maybe, just maybe we would do well to live the same way.  We all know what’s in our own heart so we can imagine every other person struggles with the same exact stuff.

Different details

            different day

                        different location

                                    different people,

but basically, we all skirmish with the same emotions as every other human on the planet.

Because I battle bitterness toward people who have hurt me, I imagine others do as well.  I struggle with forgiveness, so I know others also struggle when I hurt them.  When we can accept it as a fact – that people in general are self-centered, untrustworthy, unfaithful and prone to egocentricity – we need not be shocked any longer and can learn to adjust our expectations accordingly. 

Now this may sound quite pessimistic but we no longer have to be surprised at human behavior. If we simply remember that people will react in ways we don’t like, we can plan for it and choose a better way.  We can replace the shock and anger with gratitude.

Yes, the world is broken, but don’t be offended by it.  Instead, thank God that He’s intervened in it, and He’s going to restore it to everything it was meant to be.  Yes, the world is broken, and selfish is our default setting. Brant Hansen

It takes the miracle of a new heart to become unoffended.  We see anger in the grocery store and at the bank, rage on the roads and annoyance at home.  Offense seems to be the fashion, outrage the popular trend.  But to be perpetually shocked and offended at others is exhausting.  Brant suggests that we might start living with realistic expectations and choose to be the exception – to be those who are not offended.

So, what if we started being the exception?  The Beautiful Exception.

Imagine the results of speaking kindness after being insulted instead of shooting back words of the same.

Imagine the beauty when we pray prayers of intercession for our enemies instead of words of accusation.

Imagine the reaction if we searched and spoke of the good people do instead of highlighting the evil.

Imagine trusting God to take care of the people who have hurt us, to let Him do the work and mete out the justice we are incapable of giving.

Imagine if someone cuts you off in traffic and you choose to replace that shock and horror with gratitude, to forgive them and actually pray for them.

And then when a person generously lets you merge – give thanks.

Imagine when your UPS driver drops off a package, you open the door and shout out thank you!

Imagine your life becoming less stressful because you give up your right to anger and offense.

We need to remember, always remember when Jesus was reviled, spat upon and mocked, he never came back with similar words, but instead as he was hanging from the cross, prayed for his enemies,

Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.

And if Jesus lives in us, we have the power to forgive, to give thanks during difficult times and trust our Father to do what we cannot.

We draw people to Christ by not loudly discrediting what they believe, by telling them how wrong they are and how right we are, but by showing them a light that is so lovely, that they want to know with all their hearts the source of it. 

Madeleine L’Engle

And as Brant Hansen sums it up:

When we recognize our unsurprising fallenness and keep our eyes joyfully open for the glorious exceptions, we’re much less offendable.  Why?

Because that’s the thing about gratitude and anger: they can’t coexist.  It’s one or the other.

One drains the very life from you.  The other fills your life with wonder.

Choose wisely.

Let’s be the Beautiful Exception.

Jesus, Friend of Women

February 14, 2023 / / 2 Comments

Dear Daughters,

I have been enjoying The Chosen and have watched with interest how Jesus responds to women.  I have read these stories in the Bible for years, but to actually see it on the screen has been so beautiful and affirming.

Jesus is introduced in the very first episode when He enters a neighborhood pub and finds Mary Magdalene at the bar, drunk.  She is the one who the Bible mentions as having seven demons.  He calls her by name – the name no one else knew – as she was running away, his words spoken so tenderly.

When a woman who had been bleeding for 12 years touched His garment as a mass of people were crowding around Him, Jesus turned and asked Who touched me?  When the woman came trembling at His feet, he gently called her daughter and spoke highly of her faith which had healed her. 

I’m not sure why it is so different and more powerful to watch scenes in live action on a movie screen as opposed to reading the stories in my Bible.  I know some people are able to read a story and immerse themselves as one of the characters – imagining what it must have been like to walk on a hot dusty road near Jerusalem in the year 30 A.D.  I am not able (or maybe have not been patient enough to imagine a scene) to visualize very well what it must have been like.

Later there is the little 12-year-old daughter of Jairus, a leader in the synagogue.  Jairus had asked Jesus to heal his dying daughter, but on the way was interrupted by the woman suffering from 12 years of hemorrhaging.  So, by the time Jesus arrived at Jairus’ house, his daughter was dead.  Yet, Jesus tenderly took her hand and brought her back to life. 

In a culture where women were considered to be property, and could not even give testimony in court – Jesus raised them to a beautifully high status, unheard of for women in the first century. 

Remember the Samaritan woman at the well?  When Jesus asked her to go back and bring her husband, she told him she didn’t have a husband.  Jesus simply agreed, replying

You are speaking the truth, you have had 5 husbands

and are now living with a man who is not your husband.

No condemnation, merely true facts.  This Samaritan woman – who any decent Jewish man would simply dismiss as untouchable – was treated with care and concern.  And it was to her, a woman, to whom Jesus first told in plain words that He was the Messiah.

Jesus gave women rights before women’s rights were even a thought.  He gave them a right to express their emotions, kneel before Him and learn from Him, as only Jewish men had in the past been allowed to do.

And then the most remarkable happening of all: After Jesus was raised from the dead, the first person who saw Him was Mary Magdalene – the woman who was previous a demoniac.  It was she who was told to quickly go and tell the other disciples – the first woman preacher!

If you have ever doubted you are valued and loved by Jesus, please know that is a lie.  His love is always available and free for the taking, it hasn’t changed a single iota since He lived on earth thousands of years ago.

There are many other stories about Jesus’ high opinion of women, and they are all surprisingly different to what we might imagine.  Jesus was a man offering healing, acceptance, peace and love to all who sought after Him. He loved them, but would not leave them in their sin. He called them up higher.

Love, Mom

Don’t Worry, Be Happy

January 17, 2023 / / 2 Comments

Dear Daughters,

Some of you may remember the song Don’t Worry, Be Happy which won song of the year at the Grammy Awards in 1989.  It’s got a cool Caribbean beat, and Bobbie McFerrin sings a cappella about the wonderful freedom of being happy, not worrying about a thing.  Even when your bed is taken away, your rent is overdue, no cash, no style, no gal to make you smile, Bobbie tells us to have no worries… just be happy.

I loved that song and would sing along with it as we were living among the beautiful wheat and sunflower fields in Kansas – on my good days.  But on difficult days when I was struggling with raising you four girls and trying to navigate my place in a town far away from the city where I had become comfortable, the song would be of little help.

It’s great to sing happy songs on care-free days when all the world is setting right, but quite another feat to sing when we are worried about buying groceries and gas in a world of inflation.

According to the researchers who study worry, they found 70% – 80% of the thoughts running through the average person’s head at any given time, were based on events which have happened in the past or those events which may happen in the future.  This would include all of the woulda, shoulda  coulda accusations we run through on repeat in our heads for far too many of our days.  Thoughts about regrets, labeling ourselves as a problem or a nuisance, can overwhelm and often freeze us from what we need to do in the present.

Then there are those thoughts about the future: will we have enough money to buy gas and groceries this month?  What will this world be like for our children and grandchildren as they grow up in such divisive times?  Will my friends betray me, will my family disown me?  And then the famous FOMO – the fear of missing out .…and the list goes on.

But in contrast to all these worries, we find this wise advice which Jesus spoke several thousand years ago:

Don’t worry about missing out. 

You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.

Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now,

and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow.

  God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up

when the time comes.                              

Matthew 6:34 (The Message)

So, what do we replace worry with?  We are told not to worry, but how?  I have found the best antidote to worry is worship.  God has continually promised that He will provide, He will never leave us nor forsake us, He loves us – all we need do is trust.  So, what could be better than singing – about God’s faithfulness, and His Holy Spirit who lives in us wherever we go?

Clouds

Remember the Israelites as they were fleeing from Egypt while Pharaoh and his army were in swift pursuit after them?  They were caught between the Red Sea in front of them and an angry bunch of warriors riding 600 chariots charging quickly behind, hoping to bring them back into the slavery they had just escaped.  The Israelites were panicking and fearful – they started railing against Moses, blaming him for leading them out, saying they would be better off as slaves, blah blah blah. Aren’t we often like that when things go wrong – we try to find someone else to blame?

Anyway, Moses spoke to the people and said,

Don’t be afraid. 

God will fight the battle for you.

And you?  You keep your mouths shut! 

Exodus 14:14 (The Message)

We know the rest of the story.  In a surprising military tactic, God had a strong east wind blow all night long and the Red Sea split open so the Israelites could walk right through it on dry ground. 

When they were safely on the other side they sang a rousing song of thanks, Moses’ sister Miriam leading the women with their tambourines in dancing and singing about their safety and victory over the Egyptians.  The words are recorded in Exodus and it must have been a beautiful sight to see every one singing and dancing for joy.  And since we have a Bible full of stories about God providing for His people through thousands of years, could we by faith sing songs and dance for victory before our prayers are answered?

How would it be if instead of worrying about the past or the future, we could worship God in the present – knowing for sure that our Heavenly Father cares for us, believing He is kind and in His time will bring justice and good answers to our many prayers? 

Bobbie McFerrin’s song is great advice, but I think we need to know why we don’t need to worry.  We can replace our worries with worship, knowing that the best is yet to come.  Then we can be joyful, content, and live in the present instead of the past or the future.

Love,

Mom

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