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I Give Up

January 11, 2022 / Shari Baar / 2 Comments

Dear Daughters,

A few years ago I read Laura Story’s book, When God Doesn’t Fix It. She wrote about the tragic brain tumor her husband, Martin, had just one year into their marriage, and the subsequent disabilities he struggles with after living more than 10 years post-surgery. Thousands of prayers had been offered along with months of hospitalizations and rehab, yet still he struggles with a substantial memory deficit and significant vision problems.

It would have been easy for Laura to walk away because this is not what she signed up for, nor was it in their 5-year marriage plan. But instead of physical healing, God sent people who loved and cared about Laura and Martin, people who helped with all the little and large details of living with a major disability. The church surrounded them both with compassion and food, practical help in living with a disabled husband, and giving hours of listening ears.

Just recently I read another book by Laura, I Give Up, following up on her and Martin’s life. As the title suggests, Laura has learned to surrender everything just as it is, saying to God I give up. I’ve done all I can, and he’s not getting better. She did not give up doing good and caring for Martin, but gave up on the encroaching hopelessness, frustration and despair. When she says the words, I give up, she is basically saying I surrender to Your will for my life. I surrender all the expectations I had for my life – like a healthy husband… I don’t like it, but I trust You.

When she surrendered – and it was not an overnight easy surrender but rather an ongoing everyday surrender – she found peace. In time, she was able to see all the good things God does through infirmities and other unexpected and often unwanted situations. Laura learned to accept what she could not change, and embrace her new normal.

I don’t know about you, but I like to have things my way. I like to make my plans and ask God to bless them. I would love to have a wish list for 2022 and ask God to put His stamp of approval on, wave His magic wand over and perform everything I desire. But as I’ve learned over the past few decades, that’s not how He works. He has a plan that is far better than mine because he knows the future, I do not. But how can I trust that His plan is what’s best for me? Sometimes His plan doesn’t feel like the best thing, but He knows what I need, I do not.

It’s not easy to surrender your life to someone you can’t see, but it’s possible. It reminds me of a conversation between Mrs. Beaver and Lucy in The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. Asking about Aslan, the King of Narnia, Lucy asks “Is he safe?” “Oh no, he’s not safe,” says Mrs. Beaver. “But he’s good.”

If we know the character of the person we trust, then we are better able to surrender the details of our life to Him. And when I look at the promises of Jesus, like:

I will never leave you nor forsake you.

Hebrews 13:5

Lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the world.

Matthew 28:20

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

Matthew 11:28

But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously without finding fault, and it will be given to him.

James 1:5

why would I fear? Why would I not surrender my New Year to Jesus? Because I need help even with surrendering. Thankfully, you and I have the Holy Spirit living within us to give us the strength to make that choice.

When you are exhausted and you don’t know how to calm your mind, surrender to God. When you are scared when looking at the future and fearful of what may happen to those you love, surrender your people and your future to God.

I have tried to run my life for enough years now to know that my plans are short-sighted, superficial and self-centered at best. I have no idea of what others around me need and I am not able to see the big picture or the future.

Laura has surrendered to an unexpected life of joy, even though her husband can’t drive or hold down a full-time job. Her music is loved all over the world because she sings and writes about Blessings in the midst of heartache, and living in the joy of Surrender.

God may not change your circumstances to your liking, but you can unclench your tight fists of trying to be in control and surrender with open hands to whatever He has planned for you – which will be abundantly better than anything you could possibly ask or imagine.

Who knows? You may even be surprised by joy when you say I Give Up.

Love, Mom

Contentment at Christmas

December 20, 2021 / Shari Baar / 6 Comments

Dear Daughters,

It was two weeks before Christmas and I didn’t even have my wreath up yet. Thanksgiving decorations were sitting around waiting to go into the storage box, then heading down for the basement. The Christmas tree was still in its box. I cancelled my piano student’s Christmas recital, and everything is different this year, not at all going as planned.

That’s probably been the story of every one of you sometime or other – we all have plans for our lives, and rarely do they go according to our idea of how they should. Sometimes there are disappointments, sometimes unexpected joys, sickness, heartache and grief, while it seems like the rest of the world is joyful and festive.

It would be easy for me to dwell on what I don’t have – energy because of ongoing covid fatigue, the loss of a beautiful evening of Christmas music from the students I love, the extra work it takes to care for dad, missing out on events I had hoped to be a part of. And to be truthful, I have been disappointed, sometimes angry and frustrated about how drastically our lives have changed.

But after grieving my losses, I have chosen instead to dwell on what I can do – call up a home health care service and ask for help from a woman with lots of energy, enjoy watching and listening to The Messiah, ask for help from some grandchildren and their parents, hire a snowplowing service to clear our driveway this winter. Dad has always been able to snow blow and shovel our driveway and sidewalks, but there comes a time to pass the work on to someone else.

I’ve always loved the verse, I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. But it wasn’t until a few years ago that I found that verse in context. Paul, who penned these words as he was sitting in a Roman prison, wrote the following rather astounding sentences:

…I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me…

Philippians 4:11-13

Contentment is the main subject, and suffering can be our greatest teacher. While we have no control over whether or not we will contract an illness, we can learn to decide how we live during that time – be it a short time or long. We can choose to lament why me? and see the unfairness of it all, or we can come to the point of surrendering the circumstances of our lives to Jesus and finding contentment in whatever comes our way. It seems counterintuitive, but contentment is a by-product of the strength Jesus gives us.

I will be honest, there were a few days during our covid adventure that I was not content. When I first learned Dad was coming home and I was still struggling with the virus, I was frustrated – How can I take care of him, an oxygen tank, a walker, a back brace… when I’m only able to be off the couch a few hours a day? But after I spoke about all my inadequacies and irritation to Jesus (He’s usually the first one I vent to) I found out that a few hours a day off the couch was all I needed. Friends and family brought food, nurses were nearby virtually, and we both started improving slowly but surely.

I cry aloud to the Lord; I lift up my voice to the Lord for mercy.

I spill out all my complaints before him, and spell out my troubles in detail.

Psalm 142:1-2

When we come to the end of our own strength and cry out for help, He often sends assistance through other people. So much food was provided that we had to put some in the freezer for a time, young and energetic children and grandchildren helped move around furniture and put up decorations, assisted with the outdoor work we were unable to do, and now… all is well.

Thank you all for generously giving to us,

Love, Mom

A Different Thanksgiving

December 2, 2021 / Shari Baar / 4 Comments

Dear Daughters,

Our Thanksgiving celebration this year looked a lot different than usual. Dad was in the hospital for 2 weeks, so we’ve seen each other here and there in the hospital, as we track Dad’s progress on the family Google Docs, MyChart from Metro Hospital, and the daily Dr. updates. I’ve learned way more than I ever wanted to know about Covid and the fourth floor at Metro. Yet I am so thankful for the many people I’ve met, from the ambulance guys (at our house 2 times in 5 days) to the ER staff, all those young whippersnapper doctors and nurses who look like they are fresh out of high school (yet they seem to know what they are talking about.) The kind nurses, food servers, housekeeping staff, PT and OT therapists, chaplains and countless others who came every day with kind words and caring hearts. Even the welcome desk people recognize us and ask how we are doing.

I have always been amazed at the medical community, how they have given their lives to help people who are sick to regain strength, every day seeing what’s wrong with human bodies instead of what’s right with them. Our bodies are so incredibly complex, fearfully and wonderfully made, and although they are typically well, one little microscopic organism can almost shut a body right down.

As you know, at the beginning of dad’s hospitalization he was so sick we thought we would lose him. Many people were praying, as were we. Most of our family were sick with Covid as well so at the beginning we were unable to visit. Dad was sick, struggling to breathe, scared and secluded.

During that time, on one dark and lonely night at home, I simply surrendered Dad to Jesus saying, Your will be done. I was too sick to do anything else, only able to say those four words. But with that I fell asleep and slept peacefully.

The next morning, there was a turnaround with Dad. We were able to visit (some driving together in the covid van, the others separately). He became hopeful and fought to live and not die.

I wonder if knowing and truly believing the word Emmanuel – God with Us – makes a difference. God with us. A person, not a philosophy or an idea, but a real person – our Creator – is with us always. When we forget about Emmanuel, fear and anxiety consume, doubt and despair control our thoughts. But when we pause to believe and dwell on the fact that Our God is with us – even if we don’t feel like He is – then there is peace.

Someone is actually here, Someone unseen who is actually closer than the next unseen breath that fills your lungs,

and that which is unseen can be here, keeping you alive.

Ann Voskamp

I don’t know why Dad was spared and others aren’t; life is unfair and suffering abounds. I have cared for some whose bodies left this weary world and I have cared for those who have lived. We always need to mourn with those who mourn, weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice.

To always remember God is with us, no matter what darkness and pain we suffer, we know we are never alone, and that is the only comfort we have – in life and in death.

Love, Mom

Write Your Own Headlines

November 4, 2021 / Shari Baar / 2 Comments

Dear Daughters,

Sometimes I listen to the news, but I must limit myself because the news that sells is usually filled with conflict, covid and criticism – which if heard too often leads to a heavy dose of anxiety. If I try to find my stability in the news I hear from the world, I become wobbly and fearful, anxious and full of despair. I pray for people in our country and around the world, for politicians (those I agree with and those I don’t) but it is not healthy for me to focus intently on what is wrong in the world.

I recently read an article by Beverly Greer about an idea I have decided to adopt. She decided to start writing her own headlines – not to be published in the news – but headlines from her own world as she hunts for beauty, faithfulness and goodness. I too have started searching for good headlines to write, those that may be mocked by others as insignificant, never to land on the front page, but headlines nevertheless. Headlines to encourage patience and gratitude, perseverance and love. Here’s a few I have written for myself:

A butterfly climbs out of its cocoon this morning, glorious in all its beauty.

Family drops everything to come to Grandpa’s bedside as he enters his last days

and his body gives out

The sun rises over a deep canyon filled with liquid beauty.

The miracle of people flying in an aluminum tube above the clouds

The spikey beauty of icicles are seen on a simple windshield

Apples growing on a tree started by planting a single apple seed

A man and woman have been faithful to each other for 45 years

Starlings seen doing unimaginable acrobatics that would challenge the Blue Angels

A single sperm and egg unite and become a baby in 9 short months

To some, this may seem like a wasteful exercise and quite inefficient for people who are busy doing important things, but writing your own headlines is an exercise in faith. Faith that this world was created specifically to be beautiful and life-giving. Yes, it has been marred and broken, but God originally made all things good and He is delighted when we take the time to actually see and give thanks for such things. This is also an exercise in trust, knowing that

The reality of naked trust is the life of a pilgrim who leaves what is nailed down, obvious and secure, and walks into the unknown without any rational explanation to justify the decision or guarantee the future... Do the truth quietly, without display.

Brennan Manning

Brennan Manning, who defines the intense love of God for his children to be the most powerful force in the universe, lived a life of simplicity. He looked for God’s goodness everywhere, because it is everywhere – if we take the time to look.

Writing your own headlines won’t make you money or cause the world to applaud your actions, but it just may bring you more peace and joy…

The marvel of the human body, the splendor of the universe and all its inhabitants are subjects that could keep us occupied for thousands of years. In his humility, God created not just one species of butterflies, but 17,500. He created not just our Milky Way galaxy, but millions more. The little blue dot we humans inhabit is miniscule compared to the rest of the vast heavens around us. And yet He made all things on this little dot for us to discover and be amazed. He rejoices when we give thanks for all He has given. As Jesus Himself says,

...I have told you these things so that in Me you will have peace. In this world you will have suffering, but take courage: I have overcome the world.

John 16:33

There is absolutely no end to God’s creativity in trees, fruit, feet, fingerprints, clouds, voices, snowflakes, personalities, body shapes, hair color, laughter, sunsets, leaves and the intricacy of all His creation. Every square inch of our world belongs to Him, on loan for us to enjoy.

What headlines can you write as you look around in your world today? Please leave a headline of your own in the comment section below.

Thank you!

Love, Mom

Choose Your Frame

October 27, 2021 / Shari Baar / 4 Comments

Dear Daughters,

About 70 years ago Grandpa had a mid-air collision while he was a young pilot living in California. Because of the G.I. bill he was able to take lessons for free, so had been training for his pilot’s license. One day Grandpa was flying quite low to the runway when another small plane, flying a little higher than his, turned unexpectedly into Grandpa’s path and cut off his tail in the process. Grandpa’s plane flipped completely over and landed on its nose, leaving him hanging in his seatbelt. He loosened his belt, dropped to the ground and walked away unharmed.

There were five different people who saw the accident. Guess how many different opinions came when they were questioned about what happened? Yes, five different opinions of the same accident.

It happens all the time, for any situation, statement or news report. An incident occurs and every person perceives it with their own bias or prior knowledge and experience. How we frame our circumstances definitely defines the way we live.

This morning we woke up to a power outage lasting three hours. No warm breakfast or hot tea – a minor inconvenience for us, and it passed quickly. But I’m sure it was a cause for extreme consternation to others who had things to do and places to go. I immediately thought of the people in the Dominican Republic and other countries like it. In the DR people plan on outages every day because different quadrants of the city are allowed so many hours of electricity each day and they simply allow for that fact, grateful when it is working.

There are many different frames available for everything that happens to us. We can frame a situation so we become the victim. We can frame another happening so we are the hero. Or we can frame a circumstance portraying us as innocent. The framing options never end…

Do you remember Paul, the guy who Jesus appeared to on the road to Damascus? He regularly had his plans foiled and his journeys often included unexpected encounters and directions. In fact, during the end of his life he and some friends set out to Rome, eagerly planning to spread the good news to the people there. Instead, he ended up in prison, being chained night and day to the guards keeping watch over him. In this situation Craig Groeschel (in Winning the War in Your Mind) describes the choices of how Paul could respond:

#1) Lament the fact of his imprisonment because it wasn’t on his agenda

#2) Rejoice because Paul trusted that God’s plan was better than his

If he had chosen option #1 he could have said:

Now I want you to know, brothers and sisters, that what has happened to me really sucks. I wanted to spread the good news through preaching to government officials, but that did not happen. As a result of this hell I’ve been through I have decided prayer doesn’t work, and I am never going back to church again.

But because he trusted that God’s plan was better than his he chose option #2 and said:

I want you to know, brothers and sisters, that everything that has happened to me here has helped to spread the Good News. For everyone here, including the whole palace guard, knows that I am in chains because of Christ. And because of my imprisonment, most of the believers here have gained confidence and boldly speak God’s message without fear. Philippians 1:12-14

In effect, Paul was saying, I had a plan but God had a better plan. These guards are listening to the gospel and they in turn tell others the good news. So it’s all good, and I’ll just enjoy.

Paul was the GOAT (greatest of all time) framer of circumstances. He found joy in every situation, in fact he is the one who wrote,

I have learned to be content in all circumstances…I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

Philippians 4:11-13

I think the bottom line in framing our lives is knowing that we have no control over what happens to us, but we do have control over how we will frame it. If we trust that God loves us and has the best plan for our lives, and the Spirit of God lives within us, we need not worry or fret when hard stuff happens. Yes, we can mourn and lament but ultimately, we do have the choice to reframe every situation.

Apparently, Grandpa simply framed his accident as a learning experience because a few decades later he built his own plane and took to the sky again.

Choose well and trust God with your life.

Love, Mom

Zig Zag Lives

October 20, 2021 / Shari Baar / 4 Comments

Dear Daughters,

My favorite subject as a sophomore in high school was geometry. One of the basic axioms I learned was the shortest distance between two points is a straight line, and it is indeed true – in geometry.

But as you may have noticed in life, we don’t travel from Point A (birth) to Point B(death) in a straight-up-the-mountain line. There are high points, low points and lots of zig-zags around the in-between points.

Since Dad and I have been married we have moved 12 times within four states -that’s a lot of zigging and zagging geographically. Some people seem to be able to learn the things God has prepared for them while living in the same house, others of us need to go from place to place, learning the important lessons of life.

I used to think about the Israelites wandering from place to place in the wilderness for 40 years and thought that’s a really inefficient way for God to get His people from here to there. They could have traveled the distance in 11 days, but it took them 40 years, crisscrossing the desert. But after reading about all their grumbling, complaining and general discontent with everything going on in their lives- even in the midst of free food and clothes that never wore out – I began to understand I was much like them.

In my earlier years, I would often complain how things in my life were not going as I would have liked. Moving here, moving there, meeting friends only to leave and start over again. I was lonely, didn’t have a long-term friend, and my potential was not being fulfilled… or so I thought.

I used to pray, asking God to change my circumstances so I could have a peaceful life. If I was ever in a place remotely resembling a wilderness (when people wouldn’t do what I thought they should) I would try quickly to change them or conditions around me to suit my preferences.

Thank God that during my wilderness years I have learned that I am the only person I can change. Finally, my prayer is not to avoid or escape the hard times but to trust Him, knowing that because He loves me He has promised to walk with me through every hardship.

Of course, we have to understand that the number one goal of God as he works in our lives is molding and shaping us to be like Him. Specifically, He is making us more patient and kind, less boastful and proud, more joyful and long-suffering, less selfish and impatient. Character, to God, is much more important than money, prestige and fame – which of course is completely upside down to what our culture teaches us.

And what does He use to cause these qualities to appear in us? Hard times of isolation and stress. In tough times – instead of running from them – it’s best to press into God, lean on Him and trust Him to lead through and beyond to the other side.

In God’s economy, a zigzag line is the shortest distance between two points.

Bill Lawrence

God has each of us in a unique place, at just the right moment of time, and in the exact family that is best for us. Of course it’s hard, everywhere is hard, but we were not put on this earth simply to have a joy fest.

The definition of a contented man is he who enjoys the scenery along the detour.

I was walking outside the other day enjoying the beautiful sunshine when I heard some whirring wings above my head. I looked up and saw a large flock of starlings. These birds were doing acrobatics as if they had trained and practiced for months. They would swoop straight up vertically for a short time then perform a circular pattern and immediately straighten out and fly as if on a racetrack. Then just as I thought they would continue out of sight they swooped down for a bit and returned toward me as if they were performing an intricately choreographed routine simply for my pleasure.

How did each one of those tiny birds know when the group was going to do their maneuvers? I just stood there amazed as I watched them perform for me, then as they finally flew away to give someone else a fascinating show.

When I consider the remarkable wisdom and creativity of God to gift small, seemingly insignificant birds with the ability to fly such intricate drills, I marvel. Then I think, if Jesus choreographs their lives and flight patterns so perfectly I can rest assured that He is doing the same for me and you – zig zags and all.

Love, Mom

Known, Seen, Loved

October 12, 2021 / Shari Baar / 5 Comments

Dear Daughters,

Yesterday I had a terrible, horrible, very bad, no good day. I woke up feeling physically and emotionally fragile – which happens every now and again. You know the feeling? It was cloudy out, actually a pelting rainstorm as I was driving to meet with some friends I hadn’t seen in a while. Somehow I didn’t get the memo of the change of location, so after driving 20 minutes to the normal meeting spot, a kind man told me the meeting had been moved. He gave me the new address, so I walked out to the car and promptly fell apart, weeping.

Really? Just because I didn’t hear about the change? How immature and silly of me, I told myself. I vacillated between giving up and going home or seeking out the new meeting spot. In the end I put on my big girl panties and ventured out in the storm again, going another 15 minutes in the torrential storm to find the changed location at which I finally arrived. All the way there I was feeling forgotten, unseen, alone and back to my 13-year-old self when I had been left alone because of a misunderstanding of a meeting place in another state, decades ago.

How quicky one single trigger can bring us back to less than desirable thoughts of what has happened in the past – feeling lost and alone, thinking no one cares, or worse that someone deliberately left us out.

When I finally arrived to the true meeting spot, I was greeted warmly by my friends, but the topic of conversation (in my head) circled around to more times of rejection in the past – some deliberate, others only perceived -so I fought back tears most of the time. At the end I planned to quickly jet out the door when no one was looking, and my plan worked…almost.

Michelle caught me and asked if I was OK. Of course, I was not and I wanted to lie saying, Yes, I’m fine, just feeling quiet today. But, since I’m not a very good liar, when I opened my mouth the tears started streaming again. I told her what had happened – the miscommunication, the perceived hurt and all the other thoughts swirling in my mind. Then in her kind, caring voice she said

You know those are lies, right?

Right. Of course, they’re lies. Sheesh, I know about lies from the enemy, voices from my past, I have been teaching it to others for years. So how did I get caught in this downward spiral of self-disdain, loathing and hopelessness?

It’s embarrassing to forget everything I know and give in to the emotions of the moment, but somedays it happens so unexpectedly and sneakily and I don’t know when the floodgate opened, but the gang’s all there.

So when I finally returned home, I cried out to God to remind me that I am Known, Seen and Loved – whether I feel like it or not. I know I cannot let others’ opinions of me be the final word, especially when those words were spoken so long ago. I need to go back even farther in time and listen to the words my Father God tells me:

“Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet My unfailing love for you will not be shaken, nor my covenant of peace be removed,” says the Lord who has compassion on you.

Isaiah 54:10

I have loved you with an everlasting love. With unfailing love, I have drawn you to myself.

Jeremiah 31:3

The clamor of voices from the media and others around you, telling you you’re not smart enough, pretty enough, or enough in any way are simply distractions to keep us from the simple truth that we are loved just as we are.

Love from people is good, but what happens when they leave us, offend us or walk away? We will all be betrayed in some way some day by a human – or by many humans. It’s just what humans do because we are flawed. Only the perfect loving Savior, Jesus Christ, can supply us with all we need. To be Known, Seen and Loved.

We are not what we do.

We are not what we have.

We are not what others think of us.

Coming home is claiming the Truth.

I am a beloved child of God.

We no longer need to beg permission from the world to exist.

Henri Nouwen

Love, Mom

A Busy God Box

October 5, 2021 / Shari Baar / 2 Comments

Dear Daughters,

A few weeks ago I wrote about the God Box – the act of physically casting our cares and worries on Jesus. The idea is to get a little box and some small pieces of paper and write the names of the people or things you worry about on each piece. Then one by one, place those worries in the God Box and leave them for Him to take care of. But…if you start worrying about something listed on one of those papers, take it out and tell God you don’t trust Him with that specific person or situation and you will worry about it again – thank you very much. This is Craig Groeschel’s very practical idea from his book Winning the War in Your Mind.

Well, one of my dear friends who tends to worry more than she would like, actually decided to get a box and fill it with her worries. I was so pleased to hear about it, but a few days later she texted some pictures lamenting that it had become a busy God box. She would throw a name in but would soon find herself worrying about the very things and people she had just put in:

What about this?

What about that?

But what happens when…

So the lid came off, the paper came out, and the worrying would start again. But, of course, that action in itself feels a bit silly because then it becomes blatantly obvious that our trust is waning. So, the next step is to put the paper back in the box and give it back to God – where it belongs.

Out of the God Box, into the God Box. Trust again.

Out of the Box, into the Box. Trust some more.

It can get to be rather exhausting putting it in and taking it out, but our Father is so patient with us as we learn to trust over and over.

We have absolutely no control over anyone but ourself, no control over any circumstance which comes our way, but we do have control over how we will respond to whatever happens in our life.

When Jesus walked the earth, He repeatedly reminded us that He cares for the sparrows, the lilies of the field, all the creatures of the world. If He cares for the grass of the field, which is here today and gone tomorrow, will He not care for you who is so much more important than the grass of the field or the birds of the air? So why not cast your cares on Him? Why not write down what keeps us awake at night, what consumes our thoughts with anxiety from the minute we wake up in the morning – and place it in the God Box?

We were not created to carry the heavy yoke the world places on us or that we place on ourselves. Only our Creator God is able to carry it all.

As Erma Bombeck says:

Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but doesn’t get you anywhere.

Sometimes it seems that our slips of paper in the God Box are turning yellow with age, but just when we think all is lost and God has forgotten us, the answer will come. And never a moment too soon – or too late. It may not be the answer we want, but it will inevitably be something greater than what we can imagine. Plus an added bonus – we will be able to live in peace.

Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or imagine, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the Church and in Christ Jesus to all generations for ever and ever, AMEN.

Ephesians 3:20-21

Love, Mom

Vultures and Hummingbirds

September 14, 2021 / Shari Baar / 4 Comments

A few years ago my husband and I watched a mama cow in the front pasture who had recently given birth. The little calf was laying in the green grass nearby the placenta which had recently released its occupant. Just a few minutes after the birth, Larry saw these six vultures hovering around the pasture just waiting to gobble up their meal – the mouth-watering placenta.

A little later we also saw a hummingbird fliting around some wildflowers, joyfully drinking some of the sweet juice it had found.

These two memories recently resurfaced as I finished reading a chapter from the book Winning the War for your Mind by Craig Groeschel, as he made the comparison between vultures and hummingbirds. When a vulture flies around what is it looking for? It always looks for dead things. Apparently, vultures can smell roadkill from over a mile away. Vultures primarily focus on dead things, smashed, squished or rotting – that is their specialty.

Hummingbirds, on the other hand, are attracted to sweet, life-giving nectar. As they fly, their wings flapping 20 times per second, they are continually on the search for beautiful flowers and fragrant blossoms. Hummingbirds focus on life and beauty.

What a difference in the goal of their hunts – one seeking out death and the other looking for life. Every day each bird finds what they are looking for.

Craig uses these two feathered friends to illustrate the way each of us tend to preframe our perspectives during the day. At the beginning of each day we typically have a mindset of what we expect during the day. We can choose how to view something before it happens.

It’s so easy to fall into the trap of preframing our day with the thoughts:

Today will be the same old same old stuff I face every day. Same stuff, different day. I’ll never be able to get done all I need to. I’m overwhelmed.

We expect and look for those things that bring us down, despairing and hopeless. The way of the vulture.

Thankfully there’s another way to preframe our day even before we get started. With God’s help we can choose the frame for the day – looking for the life-giving beauty, giving thanks for His care. If you know you’re in for a challenging day you could say to yourself:

Today I will experience God’s strength through my weakness. He gives me everything I need for what I’m called to do. Instead of a bad, busy day, I’m going to enjoy a good productive one.

There is not a moment in your life when God has forgotten or forsaken you. He assures us, In the world you will have trouble, but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world. We cannot control what happens to us, but we can choose how we will frame it. We can see our circumstances through the lens of His mercy and grace, knowing our strength comes from Him. This is the way of the hummingbird.

It’s a beautiful thing to know we are loved and cared for by our Heavenly Father who has promised to carry our burdens.

It’s also empowering to know we have a choice:

To follow the way of the vulture or the way of the hummingbird.

The God Box

August 31, 2021 / Shari Baar / 4 Comments

Dear Daughters,

Did you know that on average you make 35,000 choices every day? I had no idea, but that’s what the research says. You can choose to get out of bed in the morning, choose to smile, choose to be kind to your husband and choose to say “thank you” to the people around you.

You can also choose to worry – about what your friend thinks of you, worry about wearing the right clothes, about whether or not you will get Covid, about what your children are doing… the possibilities are endless.

To worry or not to worry? That is the question.

Our human default is worry.

We are faced with two basic choices every day. We have a choice to worry about how we’re going to figure out tomorrow

– or –

we can choose to trust God and cast those worries on Jesus.

Craig Groeschel recently wrote a book Winning the War in Your Mind, teaching about those very things. One specific example he gives is an incredibly easy and tangible way to be thinking about what you are thinking. Craig suggests making a God Box. It can be a shoebox, an Amazon box, or any other little box you may have lying around. On the outside of the box write the word God. Any time you have a runaway thought, a worry or a temptation, write it down on a piece of paper and throw it in the God Box.

You might write something like:

I’m afraid there won’t be enough money to cover the bills

I’m worried about my 17 year-old

What if our business fails?

I’m afraid of what may happen to my children when I am not around

I’m worried about my health, what if I never get better?

Will there be enough food for all?

Will my friend ever forgive me?

So, when you write each of these worries on a piece of paper and put it in the God Box, you could say:

God, I know you’re bigger than all these problems and I will trust you with them. I can do nothing to fix anything, and so I give them all to you. I don’t want to expend my mental real estate focusing on all these issues I cannot change, so I give them to you.

Once you pray and give it to God, go on with your life.

But… says Craig, if you decide you want to worry about something you’ve already put in the God box, open it up take out that slip of paper and say to God,

I don’t trust you any more with this item so I’m going to worry some more about it.

You may think that sounds like a rude thing to say to God, but in effect that’s what we’re saying when we fill our mind with worry. The apostle Peter tells us to cast all your cares upon God for He cares for you. Our thoughts seek to betray us, and doubts pop into our mind, but we have a choice whether we will worry about stuff, or live a life of trust and dependence on God.

If you don’t have a box, use a bag and call it your God Bag. Something, anything to remind you to quit worrying about things you can do nothing about.

Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we will receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. Hebrews 4:16

Love, Mom

Branches and Trees

Page 5 of 20

I Give Up

Contentment at Christmas

A Different Thanksgiving

Write Your Own Headlines

Choose Your Frame

Zig Zag Lives

Known, Seen, Loved

A Busy God Box

Vultures and Hummingbirds

The God Box

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