Musings on Marriage

Tag: Beautiful

Ronald McDonald House

McDonald’s has never been my place of choice for breakfast, lunch or dinner.  But Ronald McDonald’s House – now that’s a completely different story.  I checked into Spokane, Washington’s RMD house a few weeks ago because my daughter Amanda, delivered her daughter, Jubal, six weeks earlier than planned.  I flew from Michigan to help Michael and Amanda care for their son Onyx as they made many trips to and from the NICU at Sacred Heart Hospital and as Michael drove to work in Walla Walla staying several days at a time.

From the moment I stepped in the door at RMD, the staff was kind, the rooms and kitchen areas were pristine, and I felt completely valued and cared for.  At dinner time a huge meal was brought into the kitchen area – sausage jambalaya and rice – and was free for whoever was hungry.  The next morning there was a pan filled with pounds of crispy bacon just out of the oven, miniature quiches, a luscious apple coffee cake and cinnamon rolls.  As I was filling my plate with a bountiful hot breakfast, I asked the people who had brought such a feast who they were and why they were doing this.  They said they were from the local TV station, wanting to give to those who were having a difficult time with loved ones in the nearby hospitals. All the cooks were filled with joy as they brought more and more food out of the ovens, and our joy was immense as well.

Not all meals were furnished, but it was a delight when they were.  One Saturday night four young women from a local Gonzaga Sorority brought us spaghetti and meat balls for supper.  Michael asked them why they would spend their Saturday buying, preparing and delivering a meal to strangers whom they had never met.  They replied that as a Sorority they decided to do some service projects and chose the RMD House.

I talked to some other parents who had been there much longer than we.  One mother told us she was celebrating her 80th day with twin girls in NICU, and yet she spoke of her time here as being such a blessing.  One of the twins was born at 1 lb. 5 oz., the other 2 lbs. 10 oz.   I had no idea a child born that small could even survive.  I heard story after story of setbacks, then small victories, yet each day putting one foot in front of another, parents continuing to care for their children.  One mother has been pumping her breasts for milk for almost 3 months, each morning bringing in more bottles…  Such stories of a mother’s love are simply amazing. 

One night there was a gentleman from the community who came to give free chair massages to anyone who wanted one.  Apparently, he comes every Sunday evening simply to bless others. It was lovely.

Another day Isaac, the Comfort Dog came with his owner so we could pet him and receive comfort from this beautiful gentle animal.

Onyx and I spent hours on the playground and in the playrooms scattered throughout the RMD House.  Being a 2-year-old boy, he was naturally full of energy, but we found lots of interesting places for it to be released. 

After two weeks at the RMD House it was time to go home.  I flew East and little Jubal and her family drove South as we treasured all these beautiful memories in our hearts.  Amazingly, there was no charge for our 2-week stay!   The RMD House made a difficult time much easier to enjoy. 

Thank you to the many volunteers throughout the nation who care for the people who live temporarily in Ronald McDonald Homes – to me you are heroes!

Boring Sunsets

Dear Daughters,

Tonight we had a boring sunset.  Every night I peer out the window to see the palette of the evening.  Sometimes it’s simply blue and grey, other times there are combinations of orange, yellow, blue, maroon, red, purple, indigo, violet and countless other colors of the rainbow.  But tonight it was just hues of the blue sky, rather boring colors when contrasted with the other flaming, glorious, golden and sometimes stormy sunsets of previous evenings.

 

Of course, that got me thinking about what makes a gorgeous sunset.  The more clouds – the positioning, depth, and different layering of clouds, the mere timing and strategically placed clouds – the more beautiful sunset.  The less clouds, the more boring.

A few months ago Grandpa and I sat out in the garage and he gave me a brief lesson in the basic cloud forms.  The cirrus clouds deliver a thin web-like texture, the cumulus give a bit more depth and color, whereas the stratus are the most foreboding of all.  Yet, when all three are combined in different parts of the sky, the results can be stunning when the sun shines through them.

That, in turn, got me thinking about what makes our lives beautiful.  If I equate clouds with trials, hardships – all those things we try to run away from in life – then the more and various clouds equal the more beauty.  Now I know that’s definitely not what you wanted to hear today.  Nobody I know is asking for difficulties to come so they can become more beautiful, but we all know that hard times do have a way of finding their way into our lives.

When you girls were younger, I think we owned every Calvin and Hobbes book available. One of the saddest days of my early life was when I heard that Bill Watterson was retiring from writing the comic strip.  Bill believed his most creative years were finished and he didn’t want to decline into mediocrity.  I disagreed 100%.  I loved the humor, sarcasm, political savvy and insight of Watterson shown through the characters of Calvin, Hobbes and their family.

You may remember one thing Calvin’s father replied now and then – when Calvin was complaining of chores or asking why about tedious aspects of life – was that the chore or task was building character in Calvin, which would always bring a grimace to Calvin’s face.

Of course, what Calvin’s dad said is true.  Hard stuff in life does lead to the refining and building of our character.  Troubles that bring us to our knees help to ground off the rough edges of our personality, and if we allow it, trials cause us to become more patient, kind and caring.

I remember being decades younger and not having a lot of tolerance for other people’s weaknesses, grief or pain.  But after Uncle Steve took his life I remember feeling a broken heart – for the first time in my life.  I had heard other people talk about having broken hearts, but only when I experienced it did I grow in compassion for others’ grief.

I used to be afraid to talk to those who had lost a loved one to death and especially suicide, but now I felt a kinship with those people.  I was not scared of dealing with those emotions anymore simply because I didn’t have a choice but to deal with them.  Either deal with them or stuff them down and let them consume me from the inside out.

There’s a part of us that wants to hide our difficulties from others, pretending that all is well in our lives.  But when we become vulnerable and honest, allowing Jesus to come and walk with us, He will shine through those trials. He has a tendency to make the ugly beautiful.

Recently I read a story that was shared on a friend’s Facebook page.

The Cloak

One night a heartbroken friend had a dream that she was standing in front of Jesus. He handed her a cloak. As she looked at the cloak, she realized it was alive. She could see that its threads were strands of specific events from her life, some bright and beautiful, others wormy and grotesque. She looked at the ugly strands–abuse, betrayal, divorce, illness, grief–each reminding her of seasons of excruciating pain. Just as she tried to pull out the threads, she glanced at Jesus. He took the cloak, wrapped her in it, and looked at her with an expression of deep pleasure and delight, as if the cloak were the most beautiful tapestry ever woven. At that moment she realized that if she attempted to pluck out the ugly bits, the entire garment would unravel.

We have all suffered innumerable hurts, heartaches and devastating events, for no one is immune if we live on this planet. At times we may feel like we live in a never-ending dark tunnel.  We have a choice, however – a choice to allow Jesus to fight for us against the hard stuff or succumb to their power and live in fear and despair.

It’s often tempting to curse the clouds when they cover the sun.  I find myself thinking thoughts like:

This was not in my plans.

Why me?

 I don’t deserve this.

 I feel like God doesn’t even care, He’s just abandoned and forgotten me.

This happens to others, not to me…

 Yet, one thing we know for sure is that Jesus is walking with us in the trouble, deep in the clouds, through every storm.

Remember Joseph –  that 17-year old boy whose brothers threw him in a pit, then trafficked him to some travelers on their way to Egypt?  He later became a slave for an official whose wife lied about Joseph’s improprieties and had him thrown into prison.  Finally when he was 30 years old he was released and became Prime Minister of Egypt.

Amazingly, when he finally saw his brothers many years later – the same ones who sold him – he had the most amazing statement to them as they were shaking in their sandals after they found out his new status.  He said to them,

 You intended it for evil, but God intended it for good…

Hope reminds us that our best days are ahead, not behind us.  Surrender tomorrow to God – He’s already been there.  Caleb Kaltenbach

Love, Mom

Trust Him in your darkness

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