Dear Daughters,
A few months ago I read a short but powerful story entitled Blue Shirt. Written by Steve Spoelhof who is a runner of marathons, the story is about a race he ran last spring. Apparently he got bogged down physically and mentally at the 21-25 mile range. Close to exhaustion, he noticed there was a runner in a blue shirt who seemed to be keeping a good steady pace. So he allowed the guy in the blue shirt to dictate his stride, and was eventually able to persevere and finish the race in good time.
After the race Steve noticed Blue Shirt walking around so he thanked him for being the encouragement that he was during miles 21-25. Surprisingly, Blue Shirt immediately answered, Thanks for pulling me through 17-21. Steve was completely surprised that he could have been an encouragement to another when he was struggling so much himself.
A few weeks ago a friend told me of a song about marriage by Casting Crowns and encouraged me to listen to it. I pulled it up on Youtube, amazed by the simple yet profound lyrics of Broken Together. It’s a song about marriage; honest about the challenges and heartbreaks that go along with those vows we all said so naively.
Words are easy to speak, faithfulness to those same vows in the hard times is not so easy. The words from the chorus are:
The only way we’ll last forever is broken together.
I cried when I heard those words sung because it once again reminded me that we are all so broken. Sometimes I tend to think I am more whole than Dad, that I have to put up with more than he does, but then God quietly and patiently comes and shows me my own brokenness, failings, and pride. I tearfully admit that I am fragile, needy and on some days, a royal mess . I have tried to keep those words – broken together – in the forefront of my mind.
Broken together.
It brings us back to a level playing field when I am often tempted to think that perhaps my level of thinking is a bit better than his. Why is it that we are always so quick to think it’s our husbands’ fault when something is frustrating in our marriages?
Whenever a difference of opinions come up I am eager to edit the argument in my favor. He was being insensitive to my opinion. Of course I’m right, how could his even be considered? How can he not see that mine is the better idea?
So, you may be wondering why I paired this story and song together. First of all, I want to thank each one of you – my daughters – for being a Blue Shirt to me during difficult times in my life, especially the last few years. Many times your phone calls or visits, coming far to us in Idaho, were exactly what I needed when things looked so dark in my life. You have pulled me through, encouraged me to keep on going, listening to my heartbreaks and disappointments, while sharing with me your own griefs and victories as we have prayed for each other.
Nobody is always the Blue Shirt; instead I think we become Blue Shirts to each other at different times in our lives.
I have come to enjoy the song Broken Together in a bigger picture than simply marriage. As members of a family we are also broken together. We hurt each other, speak before we think, at times annoy each other, and yet many times bring joy and happiness to one another.
Because we are all broken we can never expect to get it right all the time, but to see us as broken and together is indeed a beautiful picture to me.
Love, Mom
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3
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