Dear Daughters,
When Dad and I were in Idaho, we drove out to the Camas Prairie, a wilderness where there are lots more cattle than people. There’s probably a lot more acreage than the number of residents as well. We decided to take a shortcut to our destination, which happened to be on a dusty dirt road – of which there are many in Idaho.
We drove for miles and miles seeing mostly sagebrush, unadorned mountains and rocks. It’s a lovely desolate drive and quite diverse from the valley where we used to live, so we drove bumpity-bump along a slightly graveled road, enjoying the bare dry desert.
Suddenly we came upon the prettiest little sunflowers lining that dry simple road. I was shocked and amazed, wondering how there was enough moisture for them to grow in this parched, deserted country. Seeing these flowers in the midst of an otherwise barren land was such a delight and brought a smile to my face as I wondered how the seeds ever received enough water to flourish on the sides of the road, bringing beauty and color to the Camas Prairie.
As we continued to travel, the sagebrush, dirt and rocks reminded me of the culture we are now living in daily. It has become a culture of outrage, a culture of desolation, everyone wanting their opinion to be heard, harsh answers, brutal judgments of others – a cancel culture. Sadly, many believe
If you don’t agree with me, I will cancel you as a person, I will cut you out of my life and count you as non-human with no value whatsoever.
Once we start thinking of people in this manner, we are basically throwing rocks and dirt at each other. It’s unpleasant, ugly, dangerous and divisive. Whenever a person is labeled only as part of an ethnic people group, a religious ideology or a certain political leaning, we have certifiably canceled them as a human being.
Every society creates dividing lines among people groups, categorizing them into hierarchies of importance according to the powers that be. We have all created caste systems in our own minds which are often acted out toward those we deem worthy or not worthy of our acceptance.
Jesus had 12 disciples and there was an incredible diversity within those men. Four were blue collar workers (fishermen), one was a tax collector working for the Roman government (think IRS), another was a Zealot – usually from a political party desiring to get out from under the brutal Roman rule. Diverse, yet learning to become united under Jesus, they grew in unity. Yes they had their disagreements, some thinking they were better than the others – they were typical humans. But Jesus taught them how to love each other and those who were not like them in belief or ethnicity – the weak, the sick, the blind, the sex-workers and the forgotten. Anyone who was human and came near Jesus was treated with dignity.
In his book, A Gentle Answer, Scott Sauls reminds us that Jesus loved us at our worst and if we are followers of Jesus, we are commanded to love others at their worst. He says,
Jesus has been gentle toward us, so we have good reason to become gentle toward others, including those who treat us like enemies. “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of Your Father who is in heaven.” Matt. 5:43-45. Because Jesus has covered all of our offenses, we can be among the least offensive and the least offended people in the world. This is the way of the gentle answer.
Having a gentle answer has nothing to do with being weak. Weakness is often shown in destruction and harm to other people’s bodies and physical property. Weakness is using intimidation and wrath, harming others with words, belittling someone who disagrees with you. Anyone can let anger overtake their emotions and act out in violence, destroying with rage anything in their path. It’s easy to criticize and tear down.
Speaking a gentle answer, especially toward those you disagree with, takes an incredible amount of restraint, a strength that requires the deepest and most courageous kind of faith. A faith that ultimately believes in the justice of God, that He will work good out of evil – but in His time, not ours.
Seeing those delicate beautiful sunflowers among all the dry and brittle sage brush is a reminder of what kind words and a gentle answer look like in our culture of shouting opinions and judgments on others. We have no power to change anyone’s opinion or ideology, especially not by belittling and mocking but we do have power to change ourselves and give a respectful and kind response to whatever words come our way.
Lord, give us strength to give a gentle answer and become sunflowers in a desert wasteland.
Love, Mom
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