Dear Daughters,

Do you ever have days when your mind seems to be inundated with dark thoughts, intense dislike for certain people around you, and feelings of self-loathing?  I have those thoughts especially on days when I’m physically not feeling well or when someone has recently disappointed or hurt me with their words.

Thoughts like these affect every human being from time to time. If you’re human you struggle with negative thoughts, for the mind is where the battle rages.  The battlefield of our life is in our mind – what we think affects what we do which affects what we say and how we behave.

A few years back a good friend showed me this little diagram of a train.  I admit my artistic abilities are nothing to be astonished at, but you’ll get the gist of it. If you consider this train as running through your mind – through all the neurons, dendrites and synapses (all the tiny functioning parts of our brain which are lovely words I learned in my education classes) – we can learn a great deal of why we feel like we do.

The Engine driving the train is labeled Facts.  The Caboose at the end is Feelings.  So what are the facts you think about?  If you listen to what other people and our culture teaches they may be something like this:

I’m not good enough

Not pretty enough

Not smart enough

No one really loves me

God loves everyone else more than me

If anybody really knew who I am they wouldn’t like me

My life is hopeless

I’m a failure

I’m going crazy

I’ve been forgotten

I’m not enough. Period.

 And if we always believe for a fact that we’re never enough of anything, where do our feelings and emotions lead us?  I don’t know about you, but my path becomes dark and lonely, I become easily offended by others and eventually, hopeless.    Or I work hard at proving to others and myself that I am enough, that I am worthwhile. Either way, we become as a wave tossed by the ocean, no anchor, no stability, floating along on the bleak sea of others’ opinions of us. 

If our feelings drive our train we’ll start trusting our emotions to rule our life and in time we’ll crash and burn.  If we allow the engine containing facts of what other people think about us become the driving force of our life, we will quickly sink into despair.

But if we let that Engine of Facts be filled with the Truth about what Jesus says about us, we will become a different human being.  Here’s just a few of the things Jesus says about you:

I am God’s child.

I have been bought with a price – I belong to God.

I have been adopted as God’s child.

I am free from condemnation.

I have not been given a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind.

I can find grace and mercy in my time of need.

I am confident that the good work God has begun in me will be perfected.

I cannot be separated from the love of God.

If these Facts become secure in our Engine of Life our caboose of Feelings will become hopeful, joyful, peaceful and loving.  Our emotions will become sheltered, safe, stable, anchored by hope, constant and steady. 

There is no human being in the universe who can be our rock.  People will always disappoint us, our husband, our children, our friends.  Humans are simply imperfect created beings unable to fulfill our every need, and they were not made to fulfill our needs.   No one can live up to your expectations, and the inverse is also true – you are not able to live up to anyone else’s expectations. Only our Creator – who has proven His love for us and spoken about it repeatedly in the Book of Life – is able to be our Rock, our Redeemer and Rescuer. 

We can either let emotions pull our lives as an engine pulls the train, relying on our fickle feelings from hour to hour

-or-

We can let the Facts of God be our engine and our emotions to follow behind where they belong. 

Let me add one Major Detail:  If you rely only on your own willpower or strength to change your thoughts, you will fail.  But don’t give up – Look up!  Changing your thought life doesn’t come without a battle.  In other words, there will be a battle in store for you if you truly desire to replace the lies you believe with God’s Truth.  But because Jesus has offered His Spirit to live inside you for the asking, it is a war that can be won. Christianity has never been about behavior modification – it’s always about transformation from the inside out.

Love, Mom