Dear Daughters,
A few years ago I read Laura Story’s book, When God Doesn’t Fix It. She wrote about the tragic brain tumor her husband, Martin, had just one year into their marriage, and the subsequent disabilities he struggles with after living more than 10 years post-surgery. Thousands of prayers had been offered along with months of hospitalizations and rehab, yet still he struggles with a substantial memory deficit and significant vision problems.
It would have been easy for Laura to walk away because this is not what she signed up for, nor was it in their 5-year marriage plan. But instead of physical healing, God sent people who loved and cared about Laura and Martin, people who helped with all the little and large details of living with a major disability. The church surrounded them both with compassion and food, practical help in living with a disabled husband, and giving hours of listening ears.
Just recently I read another book by Laura, I Give Up, following up on her and Martin’s life. As the title suggests, Laura has learned to surrender everything just as it is, saying to God I give up. I’ve done all I can, and he’s not getting better. She did not give up doing good and caring for Martin, but gave up on the encroaching hopelessness, frustration and despair. When she says the words, I give up, she is basically saying I surrender to Your will for my life. I surrender all the expectations I had for my life – like a healthy husband… I don’t like it, but I trust You.
When she surrendered – and it was not an overnight easy surrender but rather an ongoing everyday surrender – she found peace. In time, she was able to see all the good things God does through infirmities and other unexpected and often unwanted situations. Laura learned to accept what she could not change, and embrace her new normal.
I don’t know about you, but I like to have things my way. I like to make my plans and ask God to bless them. I would love to have a wish list for 2022 and ask God to put His stamp of approval on, wave His magic wand over and perform everything I desire. But as I’ve learned over the past few decades, that’s not how He works. He has a plan that is far better than mine because he knows the future, I do not. But how can I trust that His plan is what’s best for me? Sometimes His plan doesn’t feel like the best thing, but He knows what I need, I do not.
It’s not easy to surrender your life to someone you can’t see, but it’s possible. It reminds me of a conversation between Mrs. Beaver and Lucy in The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. Asking about Aslan, the King of Narnia, Lucy asks “Is he safe?” “Oh no, he’s not safe,” says Mrs. Beaver. “But he’s good.”
If we know the character of the person we trust, then we are better able to surrender the details of our life to Him. And when I look at the promises of Jesus, like:
I will never leave you nor forsake you.
Hebrews 13:5
Lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the world.
Matthew 28:20
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
Matthew 11:28
But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously without finding fault, and it will be given to him.
James 1:5
why would I fear? Why would I not surrender my New Year to Jesus? Because I need help even with surrendering. Thankfully, you and I have the Holy Spirit living within us to give us the strength to make that choice.
When you are exhausted and you don’t know how to calm your mind, surrender to God. When you are scared when looking at the future and fearful of what may happen to those you love, surrender your people and your future to God.
I have tried to run my life for enough years now to know that my plans are short-sighted, superficial and self-centered at best. I have no idea of what others around me need and I am not able to see the big picture or the future.
Laura has surrendered to an unexpected life of joy, even though her husband can’t drive or hold down a full-time job. Her music is loved all over the world because she sings and writes about Blessings in the midst of heartache, and living in the joy of Surrender.
God may not change your circumstances to your liking, but you can unclench your tight fists of trying to be in control and surrender with open hands to whatever He has planned for you – which will be abundantly better than anything you could possibly ask or imagine.
Who knows? You may even be surprised by joy when you say I Give Up.
Love, Mom
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