Musings on Marriage

Tag: Genealogy

Jesus Cherishes Women

Dear Daughters,

Once I got over the surprising revelation that I can change nobody but myself, I read on to the next chapter of Sacred Influence by Gary Thomas.  Changing me was such a new concept and different to my way of thinking that it took (and still is taking) time and prayer to change that mindset. All these years of thinking I could control and change other people seems so silly now that I know the truth, but for years I believed the lie that it was possible for me to produce results.

        Thomas starts this chapter by saying husbands like to brag about their wives.  They may not say it to you, but they notice your strengths and are eager to tell others about your business acumen, social skills, intelligence, athletic ability, culinary talents – whatever it is you do well.  But far more important than any of these skills is your spiritual core.  What do you really believe about yourself?  Do you know – truly know and believe in the depths of your being – that God loves you? The answer to that question is what will give you strength to be the godly change agent in your marriage.

Kim Baar
Kim Baar

Did you know that the Bible speaks very highly of women?  In Genesis, right from the beginning of time, God created male and female so together we could mirror the image of God.  Either gender alone is unable to adequately represent His character and image.  God didn’t simply tell women to cheer for the men, we are together given the mandate to rule, subdue, and manage this earth, which is a radical statement for any century and any culture in our world.

The next section in the chapter– Jesus, Friend of Women – was fascinating.  In Matthew chapter 1, the genealogy of Jesus includes women:

Rahab the prostitute

Ruth the Moabite

Bathsheba (with whom King David committed adultery)

Mary the mother of Jesus

Thousands of years ago when the Bible was written, it was typically only men who were named in genealogies.  So, the amazing thing is not only did God include women in this genealogy but several of those women had less than stellar backgrounds.

Rahab was obviously a prostitute, King David committed adultery with Bathsheba and had her husband killed, and yet Jesus had the humility to be identified with women in his family tree whose stories were spotted with sin.  I used to think it was crazy to include stories of people who were so flawed in the Bible, but that’s when God does His best work – with those who know they are broken.

        In our culture we are taught it is necessary to tear down men to lift women up, but it is remarkable to realize how often the disciples who surrounded Jesus just didn’t understand Him while the women did.  Wherever He went He affirmed women when others disdained them.  One time, Jesus was having dinner with a religious professional when a prostitute walked in and washed Jesus’ feet with her tears, drying them with her hair.  The religious guy was appalled, but Jesus chided the man and praised the woman because she understood who Jesus was – the Savior of the world.

Another time a woman poured costly perfume over Jesus’ head and the disciples grumbled, saying it was a waste of money, but Jesus said,

Leave her alone, she has done a beautiful thing to me. 

Then again when Jesus was hanging on the cross, only one out of the twelve male disciples came to watch, but many women dared to come and be with Jesus during His last suffering moments.

        Perhaps the most incredible example of all is after He died and rose again. Who were the first to talk to the angels at the grave, and then later meet Jesus face to face?  Women.  The first woman was Mary Magdalene, from whom Jesus had cast out seven demons.  In those days a woman’s testimony could not be heard in courts of law, only men’s testimonies were considered valid, but Jesus chose women to be the first to see him so they could go and tell the men, who didn’t believe them.  Jesus, after he had risen, appeared to those 11 disciples and reproached them for their unbelief and hardness of heart. 

With all this said, Gary Thomas writes about the importance to know and believe that we – every one of us – are valued and dearly loved by God himself.  Then…if we truly believe God deeply loves and respects us, then we can love and respect ourselves.

For my entire life I have sung

Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so…

but I think I never really believed it until recently.  Certainly I knew that God made me and the world and all the people and creation, but I just thought  I had to figure out this love and marriage thing on my own.  Looking back, I never realized how cherished I am to God.  I never really trusted Him in caring for Dad and all of you.  I thought I had to be the one who did all the molding and shaping (controlling).  It is quite freeing to rest in the fact that I am loved by God and my only job is to love and pray for those around me, not try to change them.  I also never realized how radical the Bible is in its treatment of women.  It’s our culture that has it wrong; God sees men and women as equal in value.

I pray that you will grow to know more and more that He cares intimately about every detail of your life, and that He can be trusted ~ even in your marriage.

        I love I Corinthians 7:17-18

  And don’t be wishing you were someplace else.  Where you are right now is God’s place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there.  God, not your marital status, defines your life.

Love,

Mom

Family Trees

 

Dear Daughters,

            As you know, we have relatives of whom we are proud and those we would rather keep hidden.  Amazingly, Jesus had the same type of family tree except that he wasn’t ashamed of them.  I find it fascinating that before the birth of Jesus is ever mentioned in the book of Matthew, we find a rather lengthy, boring to most, genealogy.  God’s history with His people has always been one of openness.  There have never been any secrets with Him

In a classic Jewish genealogy women were not included, they were not deemed important enough.  Remarkably in Jesus’ there were four women included.  Not your good, upright and noble women, but women of shame.  He was not consumed with the purity of His pedigree, but in the extreme value of every person on that list.  There was Tamar, who disguised herself as a prostitute to trick her father-in-law into sleeping with her as a way of seeking justice from him, Rahab a prostitute from Jericho, Ruth, a foreigner, and Mary with an unplanned pregnancy.Barn

In Jesus’ lifetime a person’s genealogy was similar to our resumes today.  It gave a person validation, credentials.  As in any resume, we all tend to expand on our best accomplishments and omit our worst failures.  The ancients would typically feature ancestors who would hold them in high esteem, but leave out those of whom they were ashamed.  Herod the Great, a King of long ago, destroyed his genealogy because he found it too embarrassing.  But Jesus included these women in His because in God’s eyes there are no little people, no one who is below the grace of God, no one of whom to be ashamed.

Today I was looking through the homemade book My Life written by your great-grandma Vandermeer.  It is a weighty book of genealogy that she spent decades compiling.  The cover is thick heavy leather which she personally handcrafted.  I still remember all her leather tools in a wooden box, watching her design the intricate artwork.Mylife

I must admit that it was both interesting and embarrassing to read a bit of my heritage.  In our long ago family there were pioneers who came to the West in wagon trains, a prince, a woman who poisoned her husband at lunch, a poet, alcoholics, a missionary, a Singer Sewing Machine salesman, those who committed suicide – basically the typical menagerie that every family inherits.Greatestgift

The coming of Christ was right through families of messed-up monarchs and battling brothers, through affairs and adultery and more than a feud or two, through skeletons in closets and cheaters at tables.  It was in that time of prophets and kings, the time of Mary and Joseph, that men were in genealogies and women were invisible.  But for Jesus, women had names and stories and lives that mattered.

             ~ Ann Voskamp

 

The family tree of Jesus includes women who felt like outsiders, women who had been hopeless, who felt invisible and forgotten, women who had been close to giving up on life, those who were unappreciated and dismissed.  You know of anyone who’s ever felt like that?

I remember when I was 16 and first driving by myself, wondering if cars would see me because I often felt invisible.  At times I would be amazed that people would wait for me to make a turn before they drove on.  I know that sounds silly, but that was a time in my life that I did not feel important or even visible.  I imagine the fact that I was tall, skinny and awkward, plenty of zits, braces and shy had something to do with it.

The centuries seem not to have changed much for women.  Today many of us feel the same, our society lauding women more for their bodies and outward beauty than their hearts and those deep desires within.

Last month Christie Hefner was honored by the YWCA with the outstanding leader Trailblazer’s Award.  Somehow I found it interesting that she would receive such a prestigious award when most of her life has been promoting the beauty of other women’s naked bodies, seemingly not so concerned with the value of the hopes and dreams of their hearts.

Jesus attracted prostitutes, but not to use them.  He saw their longing to be known and loved for who they were, not for what they looked like.  He valued them, gave them hope, forgiveness and a restored life.

Tamar and Rahab had both been used by men over many years.  Tamar, who had been lied to and tricked by her father-in-law decided to take justice in her own hands and was able to convict him for his wrong.  Rahab, living in a godless place with a godless past, believed in the God of the Jews around her and eventually became the Great-grandmother of the great King David.Bouquet (2)

Other women mentioned in Jesus’ lineage were humble women, those who lived their lives doing the tedious things.  In the middle of this boring genealogy we have wonderful stories of God’s grace breaking into shamed women.  Ruth, a woman whose husband had died, decided to help out her mother-in-law, who had also lost her husband.  She gleaned in the fields of wheat and was noticed by the richest guy in town, who just happened to marry her.  She became King David’s grandmother.

Mary, the mother of Jesus was also considered boring by today’s standards, doing the humble things in life that a typical Jewish teenager did – cook meals, wash the laundry, care for younger children, clean house – until the day an angel came to her, saying that she would become the mother of the Messiah.  Now this sounds quite exciting until you think of what the village people might have said.  “Sure, the Holy Spirit made you pregnant?  Really?  You think we’re going to believe that, you whore.  You know what happens to girls who get pregnant when they’re not married.”  Mary was shamed, her life totally disrupted as she was going about her predictable life.Nativity

God disrupts our lives as well.  We may have a plan, but God’s is usually different – and always better.  We all play an important part of a much larger story.  Tamar, Ruth, Rahab, and Mary were all outcasts at one time or another, rejected, ridiculed, used, and seemingly forgotten.  But God in His amazing mercy brought each of these women into an important part of His Story.  He is a specialist at rewarding the humble, raising up the rejected.

Jesus is delighted when each of us does our job faithfully, carefully and humbly.  Every repetitive task we perform with gratitude to God is accepted as an offering, an honoring of our Savior.  Every diaper we change, each question we answer with kindness, the clients we treat with respect, each meal we prepare, every word of encouragement we speak reflects the love of Jesus.

When we love our husbands, God is pleased.  When we forgive and persevere when we would rather leave, God is pleased.  He loves faithfulness and will reward it in His time.  When we read all the stories of how God loves women, we know that His love for us is the same.  Our small stories of humble lives are being worked into His grand story and one day we shall see the whole story and marvel.Fallflowers

Lean on Him.  Trust Him.

Love, Mom

 

 

 

 

 

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