Musings on Marriage

Tag: Life

The Author of My Story

Dear Daughters,

In J.R.R. Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings, Sam and Frodo have experienced many adventures far away from their comfortable hobbit holes, both wonders and dangers.  They’ve fought a battle on Weathertop, seen the beauty of Rivendell, the dark mines of Moria and now they are standing in the shadow of Mordor.  It is then when Sam asks a question,

I wonder what sort of tale we’ve fallen into?

He assumes there is a story.  Something larger has been going on before they ever arrived and they have somehow tumbled into it.  Sam and Frodo know they aren’t the authors of their story, because there has been a lineage of people who have gone before them, and they are honored, yet a little fearful to be playing their unique roles in this same story. 

It may be a benefit for us all if we were to ask that very question of ourselves,

What sort of tale have I fallen into?

If we don’t know our purpose – the reason we are living on this earth – if we think we’re an accident, then we flounder our way through life.  As Neil Postman said about the scientific view to which many people hold:

In the end, science does not supply the answers most of us require.

Its story of our origins and our end is, to say the least, unsatisfactory.

To the question `How did it all begin?’, science answers,

`Probably by an accident.’  To the question, `How will it all end?’

Science answers, `Probably by an accident.’  And to many people,

The accidental life is not worth living.  (Science and the Story we Need)

If we think our life is an accident, we may conclude that we are the author of our own story.  Yet a simple fact remains: we have no control over tomorrow, today, or even this moment.  Trying to become our own author brings more stress and anxiety than any human is capable of bearing.  Trying to figure out why everything happens in a day, plus worrying about tomorrow puts us in a never-ending Ring around the rosy chase in our mind.  Ashes, Ashes, we all fall down

When we look at the thousands of years in which billions of people have lived on this earth, chances are nil that our small story will be one that becomes a subject for a famous biography.  In fact, do you even know the name of your great-great-grandmother- much less anything about her?  I think I learned the name of mine once, but I know nothing about her life.

When we know the Author of our story, and the simple fact that there is a larger story into which we have been born, we find that we do have a purpose.  We exist because Jesus dreamt us up.  When God, the Author of our story, created people, He made us in His image. Because we can be certain of the fact that our birth wasn’t an accident, we can freely move forward and seek out what our purpose is – by simply asking the Author of the Grand Story.

Remember – the battle right now is for the narrative; who gets to frame the story for you?  Either it will be God, or someone else.

John Eldredge

If we allow our society to frame our story, we are expected to figure out many questions on our own:

Who am I?

Why am I here?

What is my purpose?

Where am I going?

Was I born into the wrong body?

Am I just an accident?

But if you allow God to frame your story, He assures you that He created your inmost being, He knit you together in your mother’s womb.  Body, soul, and spirit, you are marvelously made and have been sculpted from a precious embryo into a person of value.  He loves you and has a purpose for your life if you choose to submit to Him.  You are not an accident, and if invited He will show you your part in His Story.

Unfortunately, many children and teenagers today are being taught in school and on social media that they are not part of a bigger story, therefore they are required to create a story of their own – from ground zero. When a child has nothing absolute in their life, confusion reigns in every area of their life. 

John Eldredge writes about students entering college,

Eighteen is the new twelve. Our students are emotionally underdeveloped,

they are much less resilient than any we’ve ever encountered,

and I’m not entirely sure why.

I’m guessing part of the reason is because students are often left to themselves, trying to figure out and write their own story and decide what their role is in life.  That’s an overwhelming responsibility for an adult, much more for children and teens. 

I have a friend, Emily, who worked as a news producer for WWTV-TV in Cadillac, Michigan, for 3 years and is now working for CRU- a caring community passionate about connecting people to Jesus Christ.  Emily used to photograph and report on world and local news.  Still a reporter, she says now,

I am a missionary with a camera,

 and I get to tell stories that glorify God…all over the world

Knowing that Jesus is the Author of your story will bring peace and assurance, take lots of pressure off your mind, and you may even find joy in the process.

Charity Gayle, one of my current favorite singers has an amazing song, New Name Written Down In Glory, with a line that goes,

I’ve met the Author of my story, and He’s mine…

I am who I am because the I AM tells me who I am.

Enjoy!

Love, Mom

Vultures and Hummingbirds

A few years ago my husband and I watched a mama cow in the front pasture who had recently given birth.  The little calf was laying in the green grass nearby the placenta which had recently released its occupant.  Just a few minutes after the birth, Larry saw these six vultures hovering around the pasture just waiting to gobble up their meal – the mouth-watering placenta.

Larry Baar
Larry Baar

A little later we also saw a hummingbird fliting around some wildflowers, joyfully drinking some of the sweet juice it had found. 

These two memories recently resurfaced as I finished reading a chapter from the book Winning the War for your Mind by Craig Groeschel, as he made the comparison between vultures and hummingbirds.  When a vulture flies around what is it looking for?  It always looks for dead things.  Apparently, vultures can smell roadkill from over a mile away.  Vultures primarily focus on dead things, smashed, squished or rotting – that is their specialty.

Hummingbirds, on the other hand, are attracted to sweet, life-giving nectar.  As they fly, their wings flapping 20 times per second, they are continually on the search for beautiful flowers and fragrant blossoms.  Hummingbirds focus on life and beauty.

What a difference in the goal of their hunts – one seeking out death and the other looking for life.  Every day each bird finds what they are looking for.

Craig uses these two feathered friends to illustrate the way each of us tend to preframe our perspectives during the day.  At the beginning of each day we typically have a mindset of what we expect during the day.  We can choose how to view something before it happens. 

It’s so easy to fall into the trap of preframing our day with the thoughts:

Today will be the same old same old stuff I face every day.  Same stuff, different day.  I’ll never be able to get done all I need to.  I’m overwhelmed.

 We expect and look for those things that bring us down, despairing and hopeless.  The way of the vulture.

Larry Baar

Thankfully there’s another way to preframe our day even before we get started.  With God’s help we can choose the frame for the day – looking for the life-giving beauty, giving thanks for His care.  If you know you’re in for a challenging day you could say to yourself:

Today I will experience God’s strength through my weakness.  He gives me everything I need for what I’m called to do.  Instead of a bad, busy day, I’m going to enjoy a good productive one.

There is not a moment in your life when God has forgotten or forsaken you.  He assures us, In the world you will have trouble, but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.  We cannot control what happens to us, but we can choose how we will frame it.  We can see our circumstances through the lens of His mercy and grace, knowing our strength comes from Him. This is the way of the hummingbird.

It’s a beautiful thing to know we are loved and cared for by our Heavenly Father who has promised to carry our burdens.

It’s also empowering to know we have a choice:

To follow the way of the vulture or the way of the hummingbird.

Unplanned

Dear Daughters,

Dad and I went to see the film Unplanned yesterday.  I read Abby Johnson’s book by the same name when it came out in 2010 and was fascinated with her story, so was pleased when I heard it was coming out on the big screen. 

Abby had been working at a Planned Parenthood Clinic for 8 years, first as a volunteer escort, then working her way up to become the Director of her clinic in Texas – becoming the youngest clinic director in Planned Parenthood history.  She was good at her job, managing the clinic orderly and efficiently and truly believed she was helping women in a time of need.  However, she had never been in an actual procedure room during an abortion.  Although she herself had two abortions when younger, she had never seen an ultrasound picture during a procedure.  But when she was asked to assist the doctor and visually seeing the reaction of the unborn baby on the screen while being suctioned, her eyes were opened to the reality of what she was promoting.

Amazingly, her husband and parents were never in agreement with her choice of a career, but continued to love and pray for her. 

Shortly before she decided to leave her job, she had come home from work with blood on her shoes.  Her daughter who was five at the time, asked why.  Abby replied, Oh, a lady at work had a bloody nose, so I had to help her with it.

The question of a young child, and the lie that was used to cover it up, became a small part of the choice she made to leave the clinic. 

Although Dad and I had planned to eat at our favorite restaurant after the movie, our plans changed.  I became nauseous and had no appetite when the movie was over.  Issues which seem to be purely political become much more personal when stories like Unplanned are told.  It was a beautiful story of redemption in Abby’s life, yet has angered many people who don’t agree with her choice for life.

I applaud Abby for telling her story, even though she knew it would make her an enemy of many who don’t want it to be told. 

After the movie, we chatted with the couple who was sitting next to us as the theatre was clearing out.  They were probably about our age, she having to use two canes to help her walk.  She told us that she had volunteered at the local crisis pregnancy center for 15 years and loved working there.  Although she has the desire to continue to work, she is unable because of her difficulty of walking.  I admire her for her willingness to be an encouragement to many young women.

I was reminded yesterday of a verse reminding me that God is pro-choice. In Deuteronomy 30:19 Moses writes:

This day… I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live….

It was a good evening out, but emotionally exhausting for me.  I hope you are able to watch it sometime as well.

Love, Mom

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