Dear Daughters,
Today I started cleaning out Grandma’s closet. Shoes, black snow boots, her favorite fuzzy slippers, tee-shirts with musical notes embroidered, pants with elastic waistbands, a shoe stretcher, her fluffy pink bathrobe –so many of them causing me to remember when she wore them and what she did while wearing them. Her lovely blue jacket when she played piano at recitals, and her old work clothes for gardening, walking shoes….
Almost three months have passed since Grandma has walked the halls of her home. It’s lonely walking down the lane by myself. When I play the piano I have no audience to listen, to clap when I’m finished playing a song, no accompanying whistler as I play. I’m growing accustomed to life as it is now, but it is different.
I know Grandma is rejoicing in heaven and I’m celebrating with her, yet her memories will continue to be with me every day for the rest of my life.
How can someone forget their mom?
A few days ago, Mariah sent me a poem she had written about Grandma.
Remembering You
I am nothing to you
Not now anyways
For all you know
I am simply another person
Living somewhere
Out in the world
You used to remember
Who I was
And where you were
You used to play
Everyday
And whistle
As though it were
Your second language
You used to go on walks
And water the flowers
You used to be
So full of life
And energy
And happiness
But now
You’ve forgotten
How to talk to the birds
Your hands
Have left the ivory cold
And the plants you watered
Are beginning to wilt
The road you once walked
Is now empty
Devoid of life
The doors you opened
Are now closed
But no matter
Where you are
Or how you have changed us
I pray
That the birds won’t forget
Your songs
Your call
Nor the piano
Your music
I pray
That the roads you have traveled
Will remember your journey
And the closed doors
Are never forgotten
But most of all
That the people you met
Will never forget you
The legacy you left behind
The music you gave us
The memories you were a part of
So
Grandma
Thank you
For all you’ve given us
For all you’ve left behind
Thank you Grandma
Thank you
~ Mariah Potoka, age 14
Thanks, my dear granddaughter Mariah, for reminding me once again how important each one of our lives are. Even though we may think of our life stories as insignificant, the decisions we make today will affect others tomorrow, next week, next year – and to generations beyond.
It’s not the big impressive things we do, but the thousand unremarkable steps we take every day that make a beautiful life.
Ann Voskamp calls it living a life of holy redundancy – showing up faithfully day after day in the seemingly little things.
That’s what Grandma did. She loved the same man for 66 years, walked down the lane and beyond with a plastic bag in hand picking up trash from the ditches. She played and taught from her beloved piano for hours, bringing pleasure to herself and thousands of others. Every day she would faithfully make meals for us – my favorite macaroni and cheese, and my gagging worst – liver with onions, which I would slip to the dog under the table.
I know some days you feel like walking away from responsibility, turning your back on those who have hurt you, who haven’t appreciated all your sacrifice and love. But Jesus sees your heart and is there cheering you on. He will never leave or forsake you and will give you the strength to carry on yet another hour and then another day ….
You have probably heard of the ripple effect. Throw a small stone in a calm pond and watch the ripples expand incrementally to the very boundaries of that pool of water. That’s what Grandma’s life did. She lived quietly, unassumingly, simply, thankfully, and because of that her life has touched many people, including you and me, for which I am extremely grateful.
Your kindness, your choice to forgive, your obedience to God, your faithfulness and perseverance will also go out as ripples to many you may never meet –and will be remembered far beyond today.
Live your one life well.
Love, Mom
Trust in the Lord and do good…. Psalm 37:3
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