Dear Daughters,

It is a gnarly time to be a human being.  And God cares about your humanity…

John Eldredge writes these words, and gnarly is a great descriptor of the era in which we live.  Twisted, rough, crooked, distorted, dangerous, hazardous, precarious, insecure – all are definitions for the word gnarly.  And some days more than others, I am tempted to feel those emotions. 

The origin of gnarly apparently came from surfers’ slang, from the appearance of a rough sea, where most of the waves are starting to break.  Although I have body surfed during my younger days in Southern California, I have never desired to go out on a stormy day and catch the big waves in the ocean. 

Whenever tempests of life come, they often have to do with people in your sphere of influence or decisions which clamor for your attention.  Because John Eldredge understands people so well and the pain which all our souls endure, he and his team at Ransomed Heart Ministries have put together an amazing little app (and it’s free) to be a sanctuary in the chaos, a sort of lifeline on a stormy day.

I’ve shared it with many people in the last few weeks, so thought I’d share it with you as well.  The app is built around several simple practices, the first which is,

Benevolent detachment – based on the verse:

Cast all your cares upon God, for He cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7

I love the word benevolent – kind, compassionate, tenderhearted.  It sounds warm and loving.  Yet when benevolent is paired with the word detachment, they almost seem like opposites. Jesus wants us to love people of course, and to care about the circumstances surrounding them, but He also wants us to understand what our part is and not usurp His role in their lives. 

If you look at the life of Jesus, it’s how he lived.  He loved well but was never dependent on people’s opinions – negative or positive – he simply cared deeply but never entangled himself in order to coerce or control.


What do you need to let go of, to benevolently detach from?

Your children?

Your parents?

The text you just received?

Your expectations of the perfect life you had hoped would someday appear?

Your worries about finances?

Your husband?

Your planning for the future?

The number of likes you received from your latest social media post?

The frustrations of your job?

So often I have the crazy idea that I’m in control of my world, I must figure stuff out on my own, and it’s up to me to make it work.  But this verse reminds me that I don’t have to carry that load, and there’s no way I can.  Jesus has offered to bear it all, so why not let Him? 

There are many instances when we simply cannot fix our own or others’ problems.  We can’t change other people, it’s actually quite tough to bring change in our own lives.  But we can direct them to seek God and His wisdom, surrendering ourselves and others to Him. 

The second practice of the One-Minute Pause App is:

Union with God – We were created to be in union with God, just as Jesus is one with the Father.  Every distraction in the world is bent on getting us away from God, tempting us to trust in our money, in people around us, in our status.  Other folks are not to be our saviors or our idols; our money is not our security – any one of these we could lose tomorrow.  

Bottom line, all of this Union with God boils down to trust. 

Do you trust that God loves you, that He cares about every detail of your life? 

Do you trust that He loves your family more than you do?

 There have been times when I have not believed, when I have doubted, when I thought I knew better than God what I needed.  I actually thought I could do a better job than He, and I lived for years never consulting Him about anything.  Ann Voskamp calls it practical atheism.

But then tough stuff happened, my life was not unfolding as I had hoped or could even imagine and I had no choice but to cast my cares on Jesus.  I had to give up on my own wisdom, my own strength.  Falling into the arms of God is the best decision I have ever made.  Union with God –  it is a safe place, an abode of peace and security. 

The third practice of the One Minute Pause is:

Praying the River of Life – In our life today there is much fear, anxiety, worries about our health, our safety, the threat of war, death, and the loss of human relationships.  How we need to pray for the River of Life – because the river of death is so prevalent all around us – to wash over us, surround and envelope us in His Love. 

I’m amazed to see how much more aware I’ve become of my incessant and continual need for God.  After using the One Minute Pause for a few months, I have found a beautiful reprieve from thinking too much about the past, learning to find joy in the present and not worrying about the future.  I have learned to tether my soul to Him and not be pulled to and fro like waves on the ocean.

If you desire an oasis in the middle of your morning or afternoon, give the One Minute Pause a try. 

Change is a marathon won by a million baby steps.  Ann Voskamp

Love, Mom

If you would like to download the app and give it a try, simply type into Google:

One Minute Pause App