Musings on Marriage

Tag: Persevere

Pioneers

Dear Daughters,

Remember all those Little House on the Prairie Books we used to read when you were young?  They are still the favorites of many kids once they start reading chapter books.

One day many decades ago, I was in the fiction section at the library and remember seeing the Laura Ingalls Wilder books stored there.  I recall being surprised and saddened because reading them as a child I thought they were true history.  In later years I learned that though many incidents were based on truth, some were romanticized and not entirely accurate.

That’s a bit like marriage.  Before we get married we have some silly notion that we will live happily ever after.  Then when we get past the promises made at the altar we learn that we married someone with a history and his history doesn’t quite match my history, his opinions are often the opposite of mine, and some days it feels like I’m out on the prairie with a stranger.

Not far from here are the remains of the Oregon Trail, created by some brave pioneers back in the mid 1800’s.  I drove out there the other day, wondering what it must have been like traveling cross country in a covered wagon, blazing a trail.  I imagined cooking over an open fire every night, taking a bath in the Snake River on the warm days, boiling water on the cold days.  Day after day with blue skies, scorching heat, dust and bitter cold wind.  Foraging and hunting for food every day, always on the lookout for potential danger.  It makes me feel like a wimp as I drive 80 mph down our beautiful Idaho freeway.

An excerpt from one pioneer woman’s diary reads like this:

Early in January of 1849 we first thought of emigrating to California.  It was a period of national hard times and we…longed to go to the new El Dorado and “pick up” gold enough with which to return and pay off our debts…

It was with considerable apprehension that we started to traverse the treeless, alkali region of the Great Basin…Our wagons were badly worn, the animals much the worse for wear, food and stock feed was getting low with no chance of replenishing the supply…It was no unusual sight to see graves, carcasses of animals and abandoned wagons.  In fact, the latter furnished us with wood for the campfires as the sagebrush was scarce and unsatisfactory…

…like every other pioneer I’d love to live over again, in memory, those…months and revisit, in fancy, the scenes of the journey.

– Catherine Haun, A Woman’s Trip Across the Plains in 1849.

A trip of 1600 miles – taking seven months – and Catherine still loving to remember the journey is amazing to me.  I wonder if the simple fact that she and her family decided to take a journey, and promising to persevere together was part of the reason she could look back on the harrowing expedition with fondness.  There was no turning back, only forging ahead.

It seems that when we look over our marriages, and see what we’ve come through – enjoying the good times and persevering through the hard – gives a great sense of satisfaction.  Yes, sometimes it’s tempting to bail, but to come through difficult times with marriage promises intact is certainly something to celebrate, simply because we continued to press on with tenacity to our destination of oneness.

It seems that whether you live in a rain forest, a desert, in New York City or in the Caribbean, the human heart always comes into play whenever two people commit to one another for life.  No matter what time period or which location you live, Tim Keller says there are always basic decisions we must make:

Do we choose to be selfish or serving?

Will we worry about our todays and our tomorrows,

or will we trust that God loves us, that He will always provide?

 Are we going to seek revenge or resolve to forgive?

Will we choose to tell the truth, or play around with the facts?

The way we answer those questions is, quite honestly, a good indicator of whether we will stay married or not.


My favorite current music group – for King and Country – has a beautiful song they recently recorded along with their wives.

Pioneers

I am here, you are there, lying side by side

Out of touch, out of reach, in the great divide

Parallel lives.

 Hear the rain, count the drops on the window pane,

Wide awake, stale mate, why do we play this game?

Oh God, I hate this game

 

Throw open the doors

You know my heart is yours

What are we waiting for?

Let’s be pioneers

And we’ll build our home

In the great unknown

Let’s be pioneers

 …Let’s forgive and let’s forgive again

I’m reaching out to my sweetest friend

Can we start again?

 One of my favorite things about living a life for Jesus is that we can always start again.  Even if we’ve screwed up stupidly, as far as the East is from the West, he’s forgiven us.  Every morning, each sunrise is another chance to love better, forgive more deeply, open our hearts to God and each other… and begin again.

There are many times I have been disappointed in life.  But often my disappointment has stemmed from the lie I had believed – that God had let me down.  I have had certain expectations for my life – which I assumed God shared – and when those expectations failed to materialize I became angry, discouraged and depressed.

Tim Keller also speaks about disappointment with God.  He teaches that when we become despondent, always remember:

God has not let me down.

My plan has let me down.

So many times I have mistakenly identified God with my plan.  God’s interpretation of my life is often different from mine.  Obviously, God has the best plan and he sees the beginning and the end so he knows the many twists and turns my life will take, and he has promised to walk the path with me.  What may seem like a detour for me is actually part of the trail, part of the path I need to be on in order to become more loving, tenacious and strong.  God will never let me down, and he will not let you down.  We are all pioneers, going forward on this Marriage Trail, one step at a time.

Today is a whole new day, a fresh new beginning, and with it always, always, comes hope.

Love, Mom

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thirty-Nine Years

Dear Daughters,

Today Dad and I celebrate our 39th anniversary.  Married in the year of our nation’s Bicentennial, we look in awe at the path on which we have been led.  The years have been beautifully landscaped by God, with tall grand mountains alongside yawning dark valleys.  There have been roses as well as thorns, dry barren years turning into deep lush times of harvest.

WAMount2 And the two shall become one… (Genesis 2:24). 

At humanity’s beginning God spoke those words.  Six short words, so easy to say, so easy to write, not so easy to do. Often we assume that the sentence merely means a physical union of marriage, but it is so much more than that.  How do two people, thinking that they love each other, really become one in emotion, in their spirituality, in their physical being?

It truly takes a lifetime of learning to trust, learning to love someone who has many flaws, sins, and shortcomings – just like you and I.  The wisdom and courage to forgive, learning to give God the things that are His, like your expectations of what you want your marriage to be like.  He is the wise, artistic genius who created us and invented marriage, so we can certainly trust Him to enter into our marriages.   We can have the confidence that He will lead and guide us, changing and transforming our characters so we can have the marriage that both He and we desire.

Chair Dad and I have been in Idaho now for nearly six months and have missed you terribly.  After enjoying our time with all of you and your families last week, I know that all these 39 years have been worth the effort, worth all the blood, sweat, and tears.  Of course I knew it before we left, but the sweetness of being together again solidified the gratitude I have for our family.

In the past there have been times when I wanted to check out of marriage and mothering when things got hard.  I’m sure all of you have been tempted to run away as well.  But I have found that when times get hard, the best thing to do is to burrow deeper into God’s vast ocean of love and mercy.  As I look back, I see that my disappointments in marriage have driven me to a deeper intimacy with God.Trillium (2)

As we were on the way back from Chicago we saw the most beautiful sunset from above the clouds.   We were just flying out of a storm.  The sun was fiery orange-red with banks of billowing clouds almost totally surrounding it – you know those clouds that nearly look like grayish-white bubbles sitting on top of each other?  And there was the sun peeking through, creating a gorgeous end to the day.  Even the flight attendants were exclaiming about the incredible beauty.

As I thought about relationships, and marriage in particular, it seems that oftentimes the greatest splendor comes after a storm –   after a fight, misunderstanding, or any other kind of relational mishap.  When there are apologies given and forgiveness accepted there is beauty, restoration and peace, but most of all hope.  Hope that God can bring beauty from ashes, gladness instead of mourning, and gratitude instead of despair.

You remember the wizened, aged woman who came in and chided us the night we were all at the pool in Chicago?  I’ve been thinking about her lately.  When she first came in the pool area she beckoned me with her gnarled finger and as I walked over to her she started scolding.  She was disgusted with all the water that had been splashed around the pool, the mess of towels hanging on chairs, incensed that there was so much laugher and commotion going on, angry that there were children having fun in the pool – and all this at the young hour of 7:00 p.m.Maelyn

The reason?

I wonder if it was because she didn’t have a family, had no joy, no celebrating a new birth, no pleasure in seeing little children squeal in delight when they watch their uncle do funny flips into the water.  She had come at her appointed time – for 36 years she said – and expected to find a lonely, solitary pool waiting for her to swim and enjoy peace, alone.

I’ve been praying for that woman, praying that she might find some bit of pleasure in younger people, praying that she might learn to rejoice with those who rejoice.  That she might learn to smile instead of frown, to laugh instead of squelching joy.   One is the loneliest number and I pity those who decline to become a part of a family because it’s just too hard or simply inconvenient.  Or perhaps simply given up because of the hurt that sometimes comes from family.James

Yes, family is messy, unpredictable, chaotic, sometimes driving us crazy, and yet during other times leaning hard on each other.  I thank God for all of you, our daughters, for encouraging Dad and me to persevere and for the joy that comes from being your parents.

Each one of you is going through God’s refining fire in your own lives.  You all have your own stories of pain and joy, and I am proud that you are open to His work in your lives, even though it is not easy or what you would ever have chosen for yourselves. I pray that you will learn to thank God more and more for the man that He has entrusted you with.  I know there are some days that you may feel like you have made a mistake in marrying your husband, but the best husband for you is the one you have right now.

You really have no idea what depths of companionship are available until you venture into those waters, and hang in there for many years.  Besides, your own transformation is barely underway.  Who knows all that God has in store for the both of you?  ~ John Eldredge in Love and War

Mums (5)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I would venture to say that at 39 years we are barely beginning to understand.

Love, Mom

 

 

Deserving Success

Dear Daughters,

 John Adams wrote a letter to his wife, Abigail, during the Revolutionary War.  Part of that letter reads: “We can’t guarantee success in this war, but we can do something better.  We can deserve it.”  He basically said “How the war turns out is in the hands of God.  We can’t control that, but we can control how we behave.  We can deserve success.”SacredInfluence (2)

The same principle is true in marriage – How things turn out is not in our power, and we definitely cannot control another person, but we can act in such a way that is honorable, and then trust God to do the changing. It’s an interesting concept to think about, but perhaps your husband’s faults are the very tools that God is using to change you.  All those things about your husband that annoy you may be God’s way of teaching you to become more patient, longsuffering and kind.  In other words, your marriage makeover might begin with you!

In our early years of marriage I was disappointed. I couldn’t understand why Dad didn’t do more to make me happy.  In my “happily ever after” mind I thought it was all about me and my happiness.  With a mindset like that it didn’t take long to become discontented, and I thought more than once that I must have made a mistake in my choice for a husband.pitchfork

It seems counter-intuitive that we should start the improvement by changing ourselves because, of course, it’s always the other person who needs to change.  But think about it, if your husband changed solely because of your efforts and manipulation it would be easy to become proud and arrogant.  When you demand that someone change for your pleasure, you’re trying to bend a person to meet your needs, make you comfortable and bring you happiness.

If you remember the Fruits of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness…) you will recall that the last one listed is self-control. It’s not child-control or husband-control, but self-control.  The only person you can do anything about is you.

God doesn’t require perfection in our behavior, but he does hope to see progress. In five years we should be wiser, stronger, and more mature in character than we are now.  Jesus wants us to be a reflection of himself.  He’s into character building – that’s His specialty.  But guess how He builds character?  By allowing difficult times to come into our lives so that we can learn to persevere.  Gary Thomas, author of Sacred Influence asks the question “How is God using your marriage to teach you how to love?”  God has us face many issues that may terrify us and make us feel completely inadequate so that we depend on His strength, His wisdom, and His love to be able to persevere through the trials and become a stronger, more loving person because of it.Fall 2010 2

I used to be annoyed by Romans 5:3-5,

We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us.

Rejoice in my sufferings?  Yeah, that’s not my gut reaction when hardship comes my way, but I’m slowly learning to recognize the tough times for what they are – God’s tools to make me stronger and more loving.  Mother Teresa has another way of saying this: “I never call difficulties ‘problems.’  I always say ‘gift of God’ because it is always much easier to take a gift than to take a problem.”

As I’ve said before, our marriage is better now than it has ever been. But it is only that way because we have both persevered through the hard times, and now we can rejoice in the good times.  The good news is that God is involved in our lives.  He knew, even before we were born, who our husband would be, and He is not at all surprised by the challenges that we face.  He will never leave you, nor forsake you, no matter hard life gets.OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

I just read the other day that life is 10% circumstances, and 90% our attitude toward those circumstances. That puts a lot of responsibility on us!  But with God’s help, we can become the women he wants us to be.  And that in turn will influence our husbands to be the best they can be.

Love, Mom

© 2024 Branches and Trees

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑