Branches and Trees

Musings on Marriage

Tag: Slow

Never Give Up

February 28, 2024 / / 0 Comments

I received three potted amaryllis bulbs at the end of November from my sister Rhonda.  Over the years I have grown several with great success and I was eagerly expecting the same.  I followed all the directions, put them near a window and watered faithfully for weeks expecting to see some lush green growth topped with beautiful flowers by Christmas. 

Day after day, week after week they looked the same, like dead bulbs in the dirt.  After 7 weeks I was just about ready to throw the whole pot in the trash and be done with it.  Then one day I saw a slight green shoot peeking out the top and celebrated that perhaps all my watering and waiting was not in vain.

Now, finally in late-February there are some gorgeous magenta-tipped white blooms – just as I had hoped.

Because I was impatient, I just about tossed out some lovely flowers-to-be. But because of that slightly ambiguous word – hope – I faithfully continued to water and keep them in the light so maybe, just maybe they would grow like I had expected. 

And then I got thinking about situations for which I have been praying for years – even decades.  The healing of a relationship, the growth of a marriage, the softening of hearts, and the healing of a broken body.  I know Jesus hears my prayers and is working things out for my good but sometimes I get frustrated and think,

Why should I care anymore?

 What good is it doing?

 Will anything ever change?

Have you ever had those thoughts, when the prayers you pray seem to be hitting the ceiling and dropping straight down again?  It’s hard to keep on loving, keep on showing up, keep on doing good in the face of evil.   In fact, there’s a proverb written over 3,000 years ago stating,

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.

Proverbs 13:12

Obviously waiting over 9 weeks for amaryllis bulbs to bloom is much different than waiting years for something you’re hoping for.  I think of women who have waited for years to have a baby, suffering through months of infertility and disappointment.  Or those who have suffered abuse and have waited for years to see that abuser convicted.  Sometimes it seems as if God is on mute as we pray for the people we love year after year, hoping justice will be served. 

I ponder the story of Abraham and Sarah who were promised a child from God and waited 25 years before it came to be.  David, who after he was anointed King, had to wait another 10 years running and hiding in caves in order to keep from King Saul’s vengeance.  Good things do happen, promises are kept but sometimes it’s hard to keep on going, every day putting one foot in front of another when we repeatedly hear the voices whispering in our heads,

Nothing is ever going to change, it will be this way forever...

Certainly it feels like it at times, but the truth is – life is changing every day.  Just as imperceptibly as plants grow – we cannot see it day by day – during months and years they do grow.  God is listening and working so at just the right time the beautiful bloom will appear.

Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap…Let us not lose heart in doing good,

for in due time, we will reap if we do not grow weary.

Galatians 6:7,9

Have good courage and confidence because God is doing a good work, and He will bring it to completion.

I love the following prayer from Tim Keller:

Lord, I confess I do not understand your timing. If I were in charge of history and my life I would have arranged things differently.

But I cannot see the whole picture, I cannot see from beginning to end, and so I wait for you in obedience and prayer.  Amen.

The Cliff Young Shuffle

January 31, 2024 / / 4 Comments

Have you ever run one mile?  I did back when I was in high school, a half century ago.  As for a 5K, a half-marathon, or a marathon?  Nope, I’ve never been interested.  Walking is my favorite way to get from here to there. 

Amazingly, there is something called an Ultra-Marathon which is a 544 mile race!  In Australia that means running from Sydney to Melbourne – and typically includes 18 hours of running, 6 hours of sleeping – on repeat for 7 days.  They don’t measure this race in yards or miles, but in zip codes.

On the day of this race back in 1983, many strapping people under 30 lined up in their fancy Nikes and Adidas, ready to show their amazing endurance.  Along with these youngsters at the starting line stood 61-year-old Cliff Young in his Osh Gosh overalls and work boots with some galoshes – just in case it rained.

Cliff was a potato farmer and raised 2,000 head of sheep on the side.  Year after year he would round up the sheep, running miles and miles, often throughout the night.  He had often run 3 days and nights at a time, so he figured it’s only a few more days.

All the younger folks in the race blazed away from the finish line while Cliff started shuffling.  He was left in the dust as he shuffled along.  But at night when all the others were laying down to sleep for 6 hours, when the news cameras were turned off and the reporters in bed, Cliff kept on shuffling,

All through the black nights, Cliff kept on shuffling.  He had never heard about the conventional wisdom of running hard for 18 hours and sleeping 6.  The dark never slowed him down because he didn’t know he was supposed to stop, he just kept on shuffling and gradually he overcame the below 30 crowd in their $400 Nikes.

At the end of the race, Cliff Young came in first – a full 9 hours before the second-place runner crossed the finish line.  He was handed the prize, $10,000, but said he didn’t know there was a prize.  So as each runner after him crossed the line, he handed out some money to them because “they worked hard too.”  Cliff walked away with no money at all because he ran for the pure joy of running.

It’s less about speed and more about endurance. 

I wonder if we could live the Cliff Young Shuffle – and I don’t mean stay up for 6 days without sleep.  But perhaps adapting some everyday shuffling, slow but steady, kind of like the tortoise (of the story of him and the hare).

The same sure and steady rhythms, day in and day out – the making of the bed, followed by the opening of the Word, followed by the journaling of the heart, followed by the moving of the body – just this enduring shuffle of doing the next hard and holy small thing – will win everything in the end.                                                  Ann Voskamp

We could also call for help from our Friend, the Holy Spirit, who is always willing to give us the strength to keep on going, through the light and through the dark, through the gray days and the sunny, to persevere instead of giving up.

On my own, I would have given up years ago.  Life is hard and it’s not going to get any easier, but with promises like:

I will never leave you or forsake you

Lo, I am with you always

I have loved you with an everlasting love

For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

how can I give up when I know that God walks before me and behind, to my left side and my right? 

When I remember the people who were heroes in the Bible had problems, I am encouraged.  Moses thought his life was just about over, but God brought him out of retirement at age 80 and called him to lead over a million Israelis through the desert.  David (after he was anointed King) was chased around by King Saul for 10 years, hiding in caves and running for his life.  Hoseas’s wife was a prostitute.  Amos’ only job had been a fig-tree pruner before he was called to be a prophet. Jeremiah suffered from depression, Thomas doubted, and Jonah ran away from God.  Abraham was a horrible liar and so was his child and grandchild.

These were all real people with real problems and real failures, just like you and me.  Yet because they continued to press on – doing the Cliff Young shuffle – they ran their race slow and steady, winning the race.

 It’s not our strength God’s looking for, but our surrender and trust in Him to provide the strength for our struggles which will never end until we take our last breath.

Hold on, press on, surrender your will to His, and you will end your race well, hearing those precious words,

Well done, good and faithful servant

Hope…Always

February 16, 2022 / / 4 Comments

Dear Daughters,

I received a potted amaryllis bulb at the end of November from Aunt Rhonda.  Over the years I have grown several with great success and I was eagerly expecting the same.  I followed all the directions, put it near a window and watered it faithfully for weeks expecting to see some lush green growth topped with a beautiful flower by Christmas.  Day after day, week after week it looked the same, like a dead bulb in dirt.  After 4 weeks I was just about ready to toss the whole pot in the trash and be done with it.  Then one day I saw a slight white shoot peeking out the top and celebrated that perhaps all my watering and care was not in vain.

Now, finally in mid-February there are some gorgeous magenta blooms – just as I had hoped.

Because I was impatient, I just about tossed out what was to become a lovely flower, but because of that slightly ambiguous word – hope – I faithfully continued to water and keep it in the light so maybe, just maybe it would grow like I had expected. 

And then I got thinking about situations for which I have been praying for years.  The healing of a relationship, the growth of a marriage, the softening of hearts, and the healing of a broken body.  I know Jesus hears my prayers and is working things out for my good but sometimes I get frustrated and think,

Why should I care anymore?

 What good is it doing?

 Will anything ever change?

Have you ever had those thoughts, when the prayers you pray seem to be hitting the ceiling and dropping down again?  It’s hard to keep on loving, keep on showing up, keep on doing good.  In fact, there’s a proverb written over 3,000 years ago stating,

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.

Proverbs 13:12

Obviously waiting over three weeks for an amaryllis to bloom is much different than waiting years for something you’re hoping for.  I think of those women who have waited for years to have a baby, suffering through months of infertility and disappointment.  Or those who have suffered sexual abuse and have waited for months, perhaps years, to see a judge convict an abuser.  Sometimes it seems as if God is on mute as we pray for the people we love year after year, hoping that justice will be served. 

I ponder the story of Abraham and Sarah who were promised a child from God and waited for 25 years before it came to be.  King David, who after he was anointed King, had to wait another 10 years running and hiding in caves in order to keep from King Saul’s vengeance.  Good things do happen, promises are kept but sometimes it’s hard to keep on going, every day putting one foot in front of another when we repeatedly hear the voices whispering in our heads,

Nothing is ever going to change, it will be this way forever...

Certainly it feels like it at times, but the truth is – life is changing every day.  Just as imperceptibly as a plant grows – we cannot see it day by day – but during months and years they do grow.  God is listening, working and at just the right time the beautiful bloom will appear.

Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap…Let us not lose heart in doing good,

for in due time, we will reap if we do not grow weary.

Galatians 6:7,9

Did you know that bamboo plants grow as many as 35 inches a day!  And on the opposite extreme there is the Tamarisk tree, native to the drier climates of Eurasia and Africa, which only grows about 1 inch per day.  Why?  Because that’s the way God, in His wisdom, created them.  Different species require different growing times and different maturation dates. 

…And there is an appointed time for every event under Heaven.

A time to give birth and a time to die,

a time to plant and a time to uproot what is planted…

Ecclesiastes 3:1-2

Have good courage and confidence because God is doing a good work, and He will bring it to completion.

I love the following prayer from Tim Keller:

Lord, I confess I do not understand your timing. If I were in charge of history and my life I would have arranged things differently.

But I cannot see the whole picture, I cannot see from beginning to end, and so I wait for you in obedience and prayer.  Amen.

Love, Mom

Go Slow

January 14, 2015 / / 0 Comments

Dear Daughters,

          The other day I was walking down the hall and there was Dad lying down on the cold tile floor taking a picture of Grandma’s Christmas cactus.  Now I know Dad loves to take pictures and they are really good ones, but taking pictures from below the flowers?  It is a beautiful plant, but as Dad found out, the real beauty truly came from slowing down, lying below and looking up.  I know because I stopped, took the time and laid down beside him to see for myself.

When I was in junior high I loved to play the piano, loud and fast.  I hated to play slow songs – they were so boring.  Plus, all the kids were impressed when I played fast and loud – spider fingers is what they called me.Girl and Piano

Later on in college, Professor Worst would say to me,  Slow down, Shari, your music will have so much more life to it if you just go slower.  Breathe.

Years ago, when I walked with my friends I loved to walk fast.  We would walk and walk and talk.  Then when Grandma came to visit, just she and I would go.  I would be silently annoyed because she walked slower than I liked, but I would grudgingly adapt to her speed.

When you are in Wyoming and the gas gauge on your car is getting low and there’s not a gas station for another 52 miles, what’s the best thing to do?  Slow down so your mileage goes up and maybe, just maybe you can make it to the next town before the tank is empty.  (It didn’t always work for us, but in theory it should.)

In my younger years I wanted to be efficient, multi-task, get the most done in the least amount of time.  Isn’t that the way a good Christian woman should be?  I wanted to do my best for God, which meant to do it quickly and well, or so I thought.  I expected the same from God: He should be efficient, answer my prayers soon, maybe not quickly, but I really shouldn’t have to wait too long, should I?

And then I got sick and was laid low, on my back, for weeks.  I couldn’t walk around the block, much less walk fast around the block.  Of course I was irritated, angry that I didn’t get better quickly.

One day as I was on the couch, lying down and looking up, I read in Isaiah the following words that jumped out from the page:

Woe to those who say, ‘Let God hurry and carry out His plans so that we can see something happening and know that his word is true.’

I was shocked, surprised, and if truth be told, hurt, to read that God was in no hurry to answer my prayers of healing or of anything else I desired, in fact there was a woe attached to hurry.  In the past I had been so busy that I had not listened to his voice that also said

Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him.

Psalm 37:7

A few months ago I was practicing the song Breathe on the piano and it had some difficult parts in it when I was keeping the same speed throughout.Piano (2)  But as I was working out the hard spots, having to go slow, I noticed a beauty that I hadn’t heard before.  I found that if I took extra time and breathed into the song some times of slowing, stretching the tempo, it came alive and was much more beautiful than simply trying to keep the challenging parts the same speed as the rest of the song.  I needed to be reminded again, Go slow.  Especially the hard parts.

Eventually I was able to get up and around again after my time on the couch, but I have learned and am still learning to remember to go slow, take time, and

Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. 

Psalm 27:14. 

I’m assuming that because the phrase wait for the Lord is stated two times in that little short verse, God is really adamant about waiting.  As Ann Voskamp says so often, Life is not an emergency.  Breathe.

In our marriages we want changes in our husband, in us and in our kids.  When we invite God into our hard parts of life, He will bring about change – but never in a hurried way.

The amazing thing is that while I was on the couch God did an important reconciling work between Dad and I.  In the world’s eyes I was not at all productive, but in that time of slowdown He did some important, humbling work in me that could have never been done otherwise.

 

In God’s eyes relationships are much more important than  busyness.  I know that God will work out every detail, every hurt, every little thing in you and in your men in His time.  Trust Him with your life and your marriage – and go slow.

Love, Mom

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