Musings on Marriage

Tag: Sun

Wondering…

Dear Daughters,

I just got back from a short walk outside, a few ice crystals flitting through the air and catching light from the house windows, sparkling in the darkness.  I often sing as I walk, and tonight my song became I Wonder As I Wander.

I wonder as I wander out under the sky,

That Jesus our Savior did come for to die,

For poor, ornery people like you and like I.

I wonder as I wander, out under the sky…

 It has long been a favorite of mine – the minor key, the wondering why, the haunting melody, the pensive mood of the entire song.  Wondering is good to do.  Remember when we were young?  We used to take time to wonder, think and ponder.  Grandpa has been one who has encouraged me to renew that discipline. He often sits outside in the sun, studies the clouds, the jets overhead – wondering where they are headed – paying careful attention to his windsock and all the levels and layers of the clouds, as he pets his dog and three cats lining up for attention.

Lately I have been wondering and pondering the seemingly upside-down kingdom of God.

Our American culture of busyness tells us to

hurry up and get things done

be productive to prove yourself valuable

try to control your small world

figure life out all by yourself

not depend on anyone else

be wary, because you’re on your own

seek approval from people

worry at all times

keep on carrying that heavy burden yourself

 …and hopefully after all that we will be loved – loved by people, perhaps even be loved by God.

But the exact opposite is true if we really believe God means what he says.  For starters,

He says He dearly loves you, just as you are

He says you are intrinsically valuable

He tells you to rest.

Yes, to do your work, but also take time and be still

To love those who are around you every day

To be honest

He tells us to seek Him for direction because He possesses all wisdom.

He tells us to wonder, to marvel at the life he lived while on earth.

He promises to live inside us supernaturally when we open the door of our heart

To trust that no matter what bad things happen to us, God will use them for good.

To cast all our care on Him.

And yet we are such ornery people, as the song says, that we often choose the former list instead of the latter. The logical outcome of the former is devastating for everyone involved.

I know because I have lived it.

When we seek people’s approval instead of believing God’s love is enough, we tend to put unrealistic expectations on the relationships we have.  No human being can fulfill our deepest desires, no person is able to carry such a heavy responsibility.  Although many relationships will be harmed, one of the more obvious casualties of those expectations in relationships is marriage.

If we were told before entering a room that we were going into a honeymoon suite, then walked into a typical Super 8 Motel room, we would be upset and possibly outraged.

On the other hand, if we were told the room we were about to walk into was a jail cell, and it looked like a Super 8 room, we would be elated.

Expectations kill relationships, says Ann Voskamp.

Our ornery human selves are self-centered, always thinking about me, me, me – what will make me happy?  Who will give me the strokes I need?  I need to watch out for #1 – Me.

The author Dan Stone says:

Marriage is meant to press you into God, not to provide you bliss.

Press me into God?  Now that is certainly not the reason I got married.  I was under the impression that marriage was supposed to provide me with a person who would fulfill me – physically, emotionally – and most of all – to make me blissfully happy all the day.  But It didn’t take long to see the false hopes of that happily ever after dream and watch it vanish.

It turns out that what I thought – and what our general culture believes – is directly opposed to God’s view of marriage.  If I put my own desires and needs in the center of my world, expecting my husband to fulfill me in every way, marriage is sure to disappoint, cause quarrels, disillusion my view of romance, and expose my ugly self-centered nature.

Tim Keller gives an interesting analogy:

Our solar system has a sun at the middle with many planets orbiting around it, beautifully and orderly.  Consider what would happen if each planet suddenly desired to be the center of the universe, becoming jealous of the sun.  Can you imagine what kind of chaos would ensue?  In a short time there would be destruction and annihilation as each globe demanded to be the center of attention.  Gone would be the order and beauty, gone would be the universe.

When we follow Jesus’ example and learn to love and serve others instead of putting our self at the center of life, we can rest, quit striving and trust that when others fail and disappoint us, He is there to fall upon, to lean on, knowing that the story isn’t finished yet.  The best is always yet to come.  We can learn to be content to orbit around the Son, teaching others to do the same.

The wonder of His love for we who are ornery is so amazing.

Fall on your knees, let God love you so you can love those around you.

Love, Mom

Totality in Tryon

Dear Daughters,

Dad and I drove into Tryon, Nebraska, two days before the eclipse, having planned this trip months ago.  Because Tryon is located in the totality path, we were certain that the little town of 401 people would be crawling with visitors and we wanted to be sure to get a place in some pasture.   But when we explored the area we were pleasantly surprised that only a handful of spectators had arrived.  So we drove around Tryon, the only town in the county, and unexpectedly found Kim and Janelle Blake, the owners of Blake Ranch, which had been prepared in advance for all the incoming viewers.

Having heard of the price gouging going on in the prime viewing areas, we were prepared to pay dearly for a spot in the pasture.  When Janelle told us that their rate was $15 a night, we were shocked and amazed.  I asked why they were charging so little and she replied, I wouldn’t have been able to sleep at night if I had charged any more.

We signed up for two nights, received an autographed cow’s ear tag as our receipt, and bumped along looking for the perfect viewing spot.  Since there were only 7 other campers on the 80-acre pasture, we found some prime land right next to a large hay bale, giving us a bit of shade in the 95-degree heat.

We pitched our tent, taking care to avoid the cow pies and gopher hills and were quite pleased with our humble abode, especially since we hadn’t been camping for years.

At 6:00 that night Kim drove to the pasture with his pickup and grill, fired it up and bar-b-qued hamburgers for all who were camping – free of charge – just because they figured people would be tired and hungry from traveling.  Janelle brought out homemade coleslaw, pink fluff salad and baked beans, along with Rice Krispy treats for dessert.  We had a delightful evening meeting and dining with others from the far reaches of the U.S.

On Sunday morning, a worship service was held in the city park, just a short walk from the pasture.  Many people from various faith walks came together to sing and worship in the beautiful outdoors.

During the afternoon, we went driving – taking the roads five miles north, five miles south, five miles east and five miles west of Tryon to see the outlying land (and also to feel some a/c).  We went only 5 miles each direction because every road became beautifully predictable, miles and miles of daisies scattered on the sides of the road, along with lush green prairie grass – a sight we don’t often see in Idaho.

In the evening, we were treated to a program called Sandhills Through Songmusical fun with musical facts of our heritage.  It was comprised of local people singing, square dancing, fiddle, harmonica and banjo playing with a variety of home-grown talent including our gracious hosts Kim and Janelle.

 

Monday morning – the day of the eclipse – dawned, barely, with heavy fog and cloud-filled skies, just as predicted.  But miraculously, around 11:00, the clouds parted and gave way to a stunning blue sky, just in time for the start of the eclipse.

By this time more than 100 additional cars had pulled in to share our 80 acres and another 20 or more RVs had arrived the night before.  We could feel the anticipation of the amazing, once in a life-time eclipse – everyone setting up lawn chairs, chaise lounges, sun awnings, making certain all the eclipse glasses were available, cameras on tri-pods – a regular Woodstock for Geeks.  People from Guam, Africa, China plus many parts of America, and according to the Where Are You From???? Map, we were the only ones representing Idaho.


One neighbor walked by in a semi-daze, then introduced himself to us.  He commented that this seemed to be one of those rare occasions when people got the gaze off themselves and onto something else outside of their own little me-first world.  Interesting observation.

Then exactly as had been predicted, the moon started its shadow at the 1 o’clock position on the sun.  Reminding me of a little pac man, the shadow began to grow, making the sun look like a bright yellow moon at noon.  Slowly, the moon continued to move across the sun, our surroundings becoming darker, shadowy and about 15 degrees cooler than it had been.  At exactly 12:53, the moon was positioned, exactly centered on the sun and the entire crowd in the pasture erupted with cheers and whistles, as if a touch down at a football game had just occurred.

Words cannot express the beauty of that ring of fire around the moon, but I’ll try.  Indescribable, amazing, stellar, stupendous, remarkable, incredible, exquisite, astounding, astonishing, and defying description.

The words of Psalm 19 ran through my mind:

The heavens declare the glory of God,

The skies proclaim the work of his hands.

Day after day they pour forth speech,

Night after night they reveal knowledge.

They have no speech, they use no words,

No sound is heard from them,

Yet their voice goes out into all the earth,

Their words to the ends of the world.

 The Message version of the Bible puts it another way:

God’s glory is on tour in the sky,

God-craft on exhibit across the horizon

Madame Day holds classes every morning,

Professor Night lectures each evening.

Their words aren’t heard,

Their voices aren’t recorded,

But their silence fills the earth:

Unspoken truth is spoken everywhere.

 I guess you could say that the eclipse is God’s way of speaking in every language that He and His creation is beyond imagination and explanation, bigger and more complex, yet so intricately timed and predictable than any of us could ever perceive.

During totality, we took off our eclipse glasses and marveled at the sight.  Looking around we could see stars in the sky and hear crickets chirruping in the fields – for exactly 2 minutes and 43 seconds.  Then everything started to lighten up and the reverse crescent began to appear.

That experience of viewing the eclipse was certainly worth the two nights in the pasture, swatting mosquitos, ants, spiders, Daddy-long-legs and other unnamed flying insects.  Sharing the experience with Dad and many other campers was something I’ll never forget.

The Totality in Tryon was much more than just the eclipse, it was a glimpse of generous, small-town people taking pride in their community, delighting to share the treasures which are theirs, holding visitors in esteem instead of simply seeing them as a quick buck to be made over a weekend.

My greatest gratitude goes to the little unincorporated city of Tryon for blessing us as we shared together the glory of God’s creation.

Love, Mom

p.s. I didn’t post any pics of the eclipse because you have already seen many better than mine:)

 

 

 

 

 

© 2024 Branches and Trees

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑