Dear Daughters,

After 94 years Grandpa’s chest is still, his heart no longer beating.  He was sleeping peacefully in his favorite chair, and then he was gone.  The struggle is over, he has met Jesus face to face.

During the previous few days the house has been full of people saying good-bye, recalling stories from the past, memories of his time shared with them, shouldering the pain and sadness of dying with us.  From laughter to tears, to hugs and handshakes, the days have been rich, beautiful, difficult and sad. 

Ginger, the Hospice nurse came and saw some of our family here to visit Grandpa and commented to him,

You are a lucky man to have so many people around you.

Immediately he said,

 I don’t believe in luck.

I am blessed.

He is blessed, we are blessed – by his generosity, kindness and humor.  Every day the nurse would come in and ask, how are you doing, Lou?  And every day, as long as he could speak he would say, I’m great.

This evening it is silent, painfully quiet.  No more breathing treatments, the oxygen machine is still.  Willow, Grandpa’s faithful dog sits quietly beside his friend’s chair wondering what has happened.

A few weeks ago I gave Grandpa a bell he could ring if he needed me.  The bell had a beautiful tone, deep and rich.   The first few times he rang it I felt like coming in the room standing straight and tall saying – just like Lurch from The Addams Family – You rrrang?  But I didn’t, I just asked what he needed. 

He never asked for much, help to get up, a glass of water, reminding me he was ready to go to sleep.

A few mornings ago he woke up agitated, wanting to get out of his bed, yet knowing he was unable to walk anymore we couldn’t let him.  So I started singing hymns to him.  Because of his lifetime of singing plus the tradition of singing a hymn every night after dinner with Dad and I, he knew many of them by memory and started whispering a few of the words as I sang. 

Amazing Grace

In the Garden

The Old Rugged Cross

Great Is Thy Faithfulness…

He relaxed, laid back to rest and grew calm.  My mouth got dry but I kept on singing. 

Yesterday morning he was agitated again so Aunt Rhonda and I decided to sing You Are My Sunshine.  Surprisingly, we remembered all three verses so sang with gusto, being quite pleased with ourselves.  But as we were nearing the end of the song Grandpa remarked with a wave of his hand, OK, that’s enough sunshine.  What works one day doesn’t always work the next…

Thank you.  Those precious words were the most consistent and common words I heard from Grandpa.  He was so pleased to be able to die in his own home, surrounded by those he loved and was grateful for all the care he received.  Jolene, Judy, Merilee, Ione, Dotty – all friends and helpers faithfully coming to help for days, months, some for years, have become part of our family. 

From the moment we are born, we are in the process of dying.  We don’t often think about life that way but it’s true.  Some of us live a full life, others don’t.  But we all can make the choice to live our one life well, because even though our bodies are wasting away, our Creator Jesus renews our spirits day by day.

Love, Mom