Dear Daughters,
Last week I found Grandpa sitting on his chair with the garage door wide open, enjoying the Spring sunshine. I asked how things were going. He replied,
Good, I’m just watching the clouds. Do you see those clouds? The thin wispy ones are going much faster than the big cluster of cumulous clouds. They must be in different wind currents and altitudes.
Being a pilot in his younger years, he has studied stuff like that. So I sat down in a chair nearby and we had a chat about clouds and wind. Sure enough, when I took the time to sit, study and watch the clouds, I could see that they were definitely moving at different speeds. It was quite a fascinating conversation, and I learned a lot just listening to Grandpa and watching the clouds in the beautiful blue sky.
Over 25 years ago a vast enclosed ecosystem of 3.14 acres was built outside of Tuscon, Arizona. In this ecosystem, given the name Biosphere 2, scientists set out to study Earth’s living systems in a controlled environment. Trees grown in Biosphere 2 grew quickly, faster than their counterparts in the wild. The scientists were mystified though, when the trees became thin and weak with underdeveloped root systems, many of them falling over before they reached maturity. Finally it was discovered that one element always found in the wild had been forgotten and neglected in Biosphere 2:
Wind
When trees grow in the wild they are subject to strong winds which are necessary to develop stress wood, strong fibrous wood that enables the tree to become stronger and vastly improves the quality of life for the tree. Without stress wood, a tree can grow quickly but not sustain the weight that accompanies the height.
Thousands of years ago – back in the book of Exodus – the Israelis were taking their 40 year journey through the wilderness and they deplored the difficulty of crossing the desert. They grumbled and whined that everything was too hard; they wanted to go back to slavery in Egypt because those were the ‘good old days.’
But the reason God led them through the desert the long hard way was because He wanted them to grow up and mature. As you may remember, the Israelis continually asked
Why God, why?
When God, when?
How God, how?
They wanted the answers to all those questions immediately instead of simply trusting God to provide what and when He knew was best for them. All God asked was that they trust and obey. Even though they had free food from heaven every morning, water to drink, shoes and clothes that never wore out – they wanted more. They were never content, never grateful, always complaining.
How similar our stories sound today. Your marriage right now may seem too difficult and you would like this business of loving your husband to be a whole lot easier. You may wonder when and how your relationship will get better. But you know what happens when life gets hard? We find that we need God more, we learn that by ourselves we cannot love the way we should.
You have been hurt, offended and at times it seems that your husband might drive you crazy with all his annoying habits. Yet through it all, Jesus is trying to get you to lean into Him, trust Him in all the mess, and ask for help in loving your man.
It’s a struggle, a fight not to complain, not fall into the bitterness mode, but it is not too hard because God’s strength is always available. And the good thing in all this? Through these difficult times in your marriage you are becoming stronger, more loving, more patient – if you choose to forgive, compromise and give up your right to always be right. You are becoming the woman of God you are meant to be.
I love Paul’s reminder to us, a verse I have read many times, fighting to believe that God’s word is true.
And let us not lose heart and grow weary and faint in acting nobly and doing right, for in due time and at the appointed season we shall reap, if we do not give up.
Galatians 6:9
We will reap what we sow. But we need to keep acting nobly and doing right – and not give up.
True character is always shown in adversity. Anyone can be happy when things go their way, but the real test is seeing how we act when things are not going our way. Are we still able to trust God and do good in spite of how we are feeling? God wants us to be stable in all circumstances because it shows we are trusting Him for our future. Unfortunately, we can only learn trust through trials and difficulties – when we know we cannot do life on our own – which for me is every single day.
A few years ago Dad and I went through a difficult time in our relationship. Yes, even after decades of marriage they still happen. Initially I wanted to shut down, blame him and walk away. Then I remembered these letters I’m writing to you and figured I better take my own advice – forgive him, acknowledge my own sin and let it go. I had to fight for it but after a time I was able to say,
Thank you, Lord, for allowing this to happen to us, and I thank you in advance for how you will use it to strengthen our relationship.
Let me tell you, those words didn’t come without tears and agony, but I did speak them out loud, and I thank God for the grace that enabled me to say them. Gratitude, not resentment, is the wisest response to these hard times.
Today was a typical Spring 40-mph windy day here in Idaho. As I was walking down the lane I saw many trees leaning and blowing in the wind. It’s a wonder that all the trees don’t permanently lean slightly to the East because of the amount of wind we receive, but they don’t. They stand strong and straight – just like we as people stand strong if we do not lose heart. Even though it’s tough , continue to do good and don’t let the winds of life knock you down. Let them play their part in strengthening you, getting stronger and stronger as you trust God to work in both you and your husband,.
Just as the clouds in the sky are in different altitudes and move at different speeds, so you too may move at a different speed from your man. That’s OK. Welcome the wind, embrace the wind. Stand strong, be patient, and know that God is good.
Love, Mom
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