A friend and I have been reading the fascinating biography of Moses lately and it is quite amazing. We are at the end of his life, as he is handing the mantle to Joshua. Joshua has been Moses’ right-hand man for decades, so it wasn’t completely unexpected, but let’s face it – it’s a huge job to take over the leadership of more than a million people in the middle of a desert.
What I found amazing was the simplicity of the instructions God gave to Joshua as he was getting ready to cross the Jordan River along with the Israelis.
Don’t ’be afraid
Trust Me
Be strong and courageous
Listen and obey
Meditate on My words
I’ll be with you
There were many unknowns for Joshua, just like there are many unknowns in our futures, yet these are the most important instructions God gave him. It got me wondering if they would be the best instructions for us as we live in a world thousands of years later, also full of uncertainty.
They are simple and concise, easy to remember, but it may be a bit more difficult when distractions come into focus. One of my friends has the simplest of all instructions when crushing anxiety shows up:
Trust God and breathe.
There is much in our world to become stressed about, but one thing is sure – worrying about it won’t change a thing. We certainly can complain, grumble and be troubled about many details of life, but what will change? Absolutely nothing.
My all-time favorite quote is from Mr Rogers:
Life is deep and simple,
But our society has made it shallow and complicated.
Have you ever heard the acronym ROI? Yeah, me neither, but I recently learned it means: Return on your investments. If you invest minutes and hours worrying about everything in your life, you will certainly receive a return on that – mainly continued anxiety, panic attacks and perhaps ulcers.
But if you invest minutes, hours and days meditating on the goodness of God and His direction to:
Be strong and courageous
Not be afraid
Meditate on My love for you….
Remember, remember, remember that God is for you and will take care of you,
…then the (ROI) return on your investment will be peace and joy, all which comes from Holy Spirit.
I’d much rather have peace than anxiety, how about you?
Last week I received a book in the mail written by an author living in Walla Walla, Washington (such a delightful name for a city). Brooke Thonney has a story which at different times made me laugh, cry and sometimes shudder. Growing up near Los Angeles, Brooke was raised in a family of domestic abuse, addiction, adultery and divorce. Before she was old enough to know what drugs and alcohol were, she knew their smell and effects on her mom and dad. When she was three her parents divorced, throwing her life into further chaos, dysfunction and confusion.
As in many stories of children coming from such homes, they in turn grow up living the same behavior patterns as their parents before them. When Brooke was in high school, she came home one day to see her mom sitting on the curb in handcuffs and later taken to jail. She was sent to live with her dad and his girlfriend, all three of them soon evicted from their home. Brooke started living the same lifestyle she had seen in her family of origin and by 19 she was a single mom and a college dropout.
But the story doesn’t get worse from there, it gets better. Brooke has a praying grandmother, who had been sexually abused by her own father for years, her voice silenced for a time because of threats and lies from him. Virginia, her grandmother, led Brooke to Christ and told her that she had determined not to let her dad destroy the rest of her life, and that Brooke had the same choice going forward.
For years Brooke had been silenced by her parents, her friends, her fiancée, her Youth Pastor, and many others who figured her background was too broken to be transformed into anything good. The enemy constantly fed her lies as well. Because of all the betrayal and slander flung her way, she began to distrust people as well as God Himself. In her mind the lies and questions of doubts were relentless,
Can God really be trusted?
Did He really speak those words of love and affirmation….to me?
Does He even care about me and all my problems?
Why would God let people do such hurtful things to me?
I am Irredeemable.
I am worthless.
I am rejected.
I am silenced.
Then Brooke started listening to God’s voice instead of voices from her past.
Where Brooke saw trash, God saw treasure.
Where Brooke saw junk, God saw jewels.
Where Brooke saw brokenness, God saw freedom from bondage.
When she decided to listen to God’s promises of truth, her life started changing:
God uses the brokenness of our lives to prepare us for what He has called us to do
and to reveal our destiny.
We were designed and created to use our voices in a dark world
to bring life to everything and everyone around us.
Because of her past abuse, Brooke was hyper-vigilant in protecting her daughters from the same abuse she had received as a child. Then one night she had a vision…
I saw myself standing in a dark, hostile wilderness. In one hand I was gripping a machete and with the other I was holding back Ellie and my second daughter Claire to protect them from whatever lay ahead. I saw myself slashing right and left with the machete, lashing out at everything around me. I couldn’t see anything in front of me because of the darkness, and I was desperate to protect my kids from whatever was out there. I was breathing hard, drenched by sweat and blinded by rain and deep darkness. I was inching forward, one step at a time, machete at the ready to protect us. I had no path, no plan, no directions to follow. I was in survival mode with my girls and would fight anything to keep us safe. Then the vision ended…
In an amazing transformation, Brooke learned to allow God to be her protector and defender instead of fighting the never-ending battle herself. It was a process, but she has come to trust her Heavenly Father to care for her most treasured possessions – her husband Andrew and their four daughters.
Brooke’s grandma continued to encourage her to tell her story of ashes being exchanged for beauty. I’m thankful she is using her voice after being silenced for so many years – not only for her sake, but giving hope to many others who have walked a similar tormented path as she.
Have you ever seen an ant hill and watched all the busy little ants walking around, each of them carrying at least one grain of sand? Now be sure that I am not an ant lover – oh no. I think they are industrious and amazing, but I do not like them, especially in my house.
I remember many decades ago, Uncle Steve somehow fell into a red ant pile, and his back was a mess of ant bites. These were not the innocuous little black ants but big red fire ants. His back was swollen and red for several days, so since then I have been careful to stay away from ant hills.
Surprisingly, the Bible has an interesting section on learning from the ants:
Take a lesson from the ants, you lazybones.
Learn from their ways and become wise!
Though they have no prince or governor or ruler to make them work,
They labor hard all summer,
Gathering their food for the winter.
Proverbs 6:6-7(NLT)
King Solomon, who probably wrote these words, was famous for asking God for wisdom. He had many good workers in his kingdom but probably a few lazybones as well. He also knew the story of the Israelites wandering around in the wilderness for 40 years, many of them being complaining lazybones. They had been slaves all their lives and didn’t know how to walk in freedom – which brings us to the next Wilderness Mentality Joyce Meyer has discovered from studying the book of Exodus:
Wilderness Mentality #2
Someone do it for me; I don’t want to take the responsibility
I’m sure you know people like this, and sometimes I even find myself desiring others to take the responsibility and do the difficult things for me. Let’s face it, life is hard. It’s hard to be responsible and go to work every day, loving people who are not lovable, keeping on keeping on. It takes effort to plan ahead, store food for the winter, and care for your family.
But back to the tiny ants, did you know that an ant can lift something 50 times its weight? That’s like me lifting one hippopotamus or seven cows, which is pretty crazy. But these little creatures are busy and dedicated to gather their food and store it for the winter. There are no bosses, no commanders or managers. Yet each of them does what they were created to do – build tunnels and store food. They don’t complain or grumble, they just see there is a job to be done and they do it. Yes, it takes work, it takes time and sometimes people like me may unwittingly walk right on top of their hill of hard work, yet they just keep walking, fix up the mess and move on. How I would love to have the attitude of an ant.
If you remember, the trip from Egypt to Canaan was only an 11-day trip, but it took the Israelites 40 years to make that short distance. One reason for that long, wandering journey was their poor attitudes. It amazes me that even though the Israelites saw the 10 plagues before they left Egypt, witnessed the Red Sea split in two so they could walk on dry ground, watched the manna (free food) fall every day – still they became complainers any time a problem came up. You would think they would remember that God had always helped and provided for them in the past, so would learn to thank Him in advance for how He would provide for them again. But no, they moaned and groaned, murmured and complained, wishing they were slaves back in Egypt. Life was just too hard in this land of freedom…
It sounds familiar, doesn’t it? Even though we see the faithfulness of God with the sun coming up every day, the beautiful seasons continually appearing each year, our abundance of food, clothing, jobs, and places to live, still we find things to complain about. And often they are so silly and inconsequential – we have to wait in line at the grocery store, hit too many red traffic lights, and have to eat the same thing two days in a row.… I am amazed at how patient God is to put up with our lack of gratitude and trust.
You may remember the verse,
If you bow low in God’s awesome presence,
He will eventually exalt you as you leave the timing in His hands.
Pour out all your worries and stress upon Him and leave them there,
for He always tenderly cares for you.
1 Peter 5:6-7 (TPT)
God has told us to pour out all our worries and stress on Him, yet he also desires us to be humble enough to be responsible to do the tasks set before us, to take responsibility like the ants do. Each one carries its own load and works together with the other ants. If someone crushes their home, they rebuild and move on. They work humbly and responsibly.
There are many things in life that can be delegated. Personal responsibility, however, is not one of them. You are the only one who can take responsibility for your attitude and I’m the only one who can take responsibility for mine. I’m not saying it’s easy or sometimes even desirable, but the Holy Spirit will give you the strength to be grateful and trusting, and God will bless your obedience. Remember all God has done in the past, His faithfulness, His provision, His care and His love for you. His promises never fail.
When I was in junior high I loved to play the piano, loud and fast. I hated to play slow songs – they were so boring. Plus, all the kids were impressed when I played fast and loud – spider fingers is what they called me.
Later on in college, Professor Worst would say to me,
Slow down, Shari, your music will have so much more life to it if you just go slower. Breathe.
Years ago, when I walked with my friends I loved to walk fast. We would walk and talk and walk. Then when Grandma came to visit, just she and I would go walking. I would be silently annoyed because she walked slower than I liked, but I would grudgingly adapt to her speed.
When you are in Wyoming and the gas gauge on your car is getting low and there’s not a gas station for another 52 miles, what’s the best thing to do? Slow down so your miles per gallon goes up and maybe, just maybe you can make it to the next town before the tank is empty. It didn’t always work for us, but in theory it should.
In my younger years I wanted to be efficient, multi-task, get the most done in the least amount of time. Isn’t that the way a good Christian woman should be? I wanted to do my best for God, which meant to do it quickly and well. I expected the same from God: He should be efficient, answer my prayers according to my timetable, maybe not quickly, but I really shouldn’t have to wait too long, should I?
And then I got sick and was laid low, on my back, for weeks. I couldn’t walk around the block, much less walk fast around the block. Of course, I was irritated, angry that I didn’t get better quickly.
One day as I was on the couch, lying down and looking up, I read in Isaiah the following words that jumped out from the page:
Woe to those who say, ‘Let God hurry and carry out His plans so that we can see something happening and know that His word is true.’ (5:19)
I was shocked, surprised, and truth be told, hurt, to read that God was in no hurry to answer my prayers of healing or of anything else I desired, in fact there was a ‘woe’ attached to hurry. In the past I had been so busy that I had not listened to his voice that also said,
Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him.
Psalm 37:7
A few months ago, I was practicing the song Breathe on the piano and it had some difficult parts in it when I was keeping the same speed throughout. But as I was working out the hard spots, having to go slow, I noticed a beauty I hadn’t heard before. I found that if I took extra time and breathed into the song some times of slowing, stretching the tempo, it came alive and was much more beautiful than simply trying to keep the challenging parts the same speed as the rest of the song. I needed to be reminded again, Slow Down. Especially the hard parts.
Eventually I was able to get up and around again after my extended time on the couch, and now I am still learning to go slow, take time, and
Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.
Psalm 27:14
I’m assuming that because the phrase, Wait for the Lord, is stated two times in that little short verse, God is really serious about us waiting. So, what are we waiting for? I think waiting sounds a little like trusting in God’s timing, not demanding our own way right now. Our culture has taught us that we deserve immediate gratification – if you want it, you go and get it. But Jesus desires to teach us about delayed gratification, learning to be joyful and expectant and trusting before He brings the answer.
As Ann Voskamp says so often,
Life is not an emergency.
In God’s eyes, relationships are much more important than keeping busy. The rewards that come from listening to your husband’s and children’s hearts, acknowledging their hurts and triumphs will endure much longer than any busyness we may conjure up on our own.
In our marriages we want changes in ourselves, our husband, and in our kids. When we invite God into our hard parts of life, He will bring about change – but never in a hurried way. He will work out every detail, every hurt, every little thing in us and in our families in His time. Trust Him with your life – and slow down.
A few weeks ago I wrote about the God Box – the act of physically casting our cares and worries on Jesus. The idea is to get a little box and some small pieces of paper and write the names of the people or things you worry about on each piece. Then one by one, place those worries in the God Box and leave them for Him to take care of. But…if you start worrying about something listed on one of those papers, take it out and tell God you don’t trust Him with that specific person or situation and you will worry about it again – thank you very much. This is Craig Groeschel’s very practical idea from his book Winning the War in Your Mind.
Well, one of my dear friends who tends to worry more than she would like, actually decided to get a box and fill it with her worries. I was so pleased to hear about it, but a few days later she texted some pictures lamenting that it had become a busy God box. She would throw a name in but would soon find herself worrying about the very things and people she had just put in:
What about this?
What about that?
But what happens when…
So the lid came off, the paper came out, and the worrying would start again. But, of course, that action in itself feels a bit silly because then it becomes blatantly obvious that our trust is waning. So, the next step is to put the paper back in the box and give it back to God – where it belongs.
Out of the God Box, into the God Box. Trust again.
Out of the Box, into the Box. Trust some more.
It can get to be rather exhausting putting it in and taking it out, but our Father is so patient with us as we learn to trust over and over.
We have absolutely no control over anyone but ourself, no control over any circumstance which comes our way, but we do have control over how we will respond to whatever happens in our life.
When Jesus walked the earth, He repeatedly reminded us that He cares for the sparrows, the lilies of the field, all the creatures of the world. If He cares for the grass of the field, which is here today and gone tomorrow, will He not care for you who is so much more important than the grass of the field or the birds of the air? So why not cast your cares on Him? Why not write down what keeps us awake at night, what consumes our thoughts with anxiety from the minute we wake up in the morning – and place it in the God Box?
We were not created to carry the heavy yoke the world places on us or that we place on ourselves. Only our Creator God is able to carry it all.
As Erma Bombeck says:
Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but doesn’t get you anywhere.
Sometimes it seems that our slips of paper in the God Box are turning yellow with age, but just when we think all is lost and God has forgotten us, the answer will come. And never a moment too soon – or too late. It may not be the answer we want, but it will inevitably be something greater than what we can imagine. Plus an added bonus – we will be able to live in peace.
Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or imagine, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the Church and in Christ Jesus to all generations for ever and ever, AMEN.
Once again
Christmas is past, New Years has been celebrated and here we are in a new
decade, with emotions ranging from anticipation to anxiety, fear to hope,
wonder to boredom – depending on our circumstances in life. Along with many other folks this time of year,
I have made some goals for the year/decade.
One of the areas I would like to work on has to do with the words I
speak.
Have you ever gotten home from being with someone or a group of people and rewound the conversation in your mind? Do you ever wish you could take back some words you have spoken and replaced them with better, kinder words? Yeah, me too – more often than I like.
I’ve been listening to myself as well as others and have noticed that many people live after the but. That is, the word “but.” If you listen carefully to others (or yourself) you will find out what they really believe after the but. It doesn’t matter what they say first, what they truly believe comes after the but. Someone may say,
I really
like Charissa, but she’s kinda gossipy.
She didn’t call me when she knew I was having a hard time.
Oh yes,
Nathan is so funny, but did you know he had a temper tantrum after he
didn’t get the deal he wanted?
Mara is
so beautiful, but did you see the look she gave me when I mentioned where
I shop?
I really
like our pastor, but he never visited my mom when she was sick.
It’s good
and healthy to express honest emotions, but most people live in the world after
the but. It doesn’t matter what someone
says, you’ll find out what they really believe if you listen to what comes
after the but. We say things like:
I know
God loves me, but I feel so abandoned.
I know
God promised to provide for me, but I don’t really have what I need.
I know
God promises me wisdom, but all I feel is confusion.
When we talk like that we live only in the present circumstance. The only hope we have is for a change in our feelings or in our current state of affairs. If we trust solely in our emotions or what is happening around us, we can easily fall into despair. Satan doesn’t care about our talking about God as long as we put Him before the but.
Dan Stone
writes about something called The Holy But. It’s putting God after the but, where He
belongs. When Jesus was in the Garden of
Gethsemane, the night before he was killed, he prayed something like this (a
paraphrase of Dan Stone).
Father, I
don’t want to be separated from you. If
it’s possible please let me out of it.
In fact, this is so heavy on me right now that my soul feels very depressed…
…Yet
…nevertheless
…BUT
…not as I
will but as You will.
Jesus was
emotionally honest, he spoke freely about what he felt, how hard it was, how he
was suffering, but he was willing to submit to His Father’s will.
King David,
one of the main writers of the Psalms, was painfully honest with God. In Psalm 13 he laments:
How long, O Lord, will you forget me
forever?
How long will you hide your face from
me?
How long shall I take counsel in my
soul,
Having sorrow in my heart all the
day?
How long will my enemy be exalted over me…. (verses 1-2)
Many of us think these things but
would never dare say them out loud.
David, however, not only spoke them but wrote them down for people to
read thousands of years later. And the
interesting thing is God doesn’t mind our honesty. In fact he desires it. But the fascinating
part of this prayer of lament is the way David ends the Psalm,
But I trust in your unfailing love,
My heart rejoices in your salvation.
I will sing the Lord’s praise,
For He has been good to me. (verses 5-6)
That’s an example of the Holy But. Nothing had changed in David’s circumstances, but his perspective changed. It moved him from where he was stuck – in despair and sorrow – and into faith.
Even though your life may look hopeless at this moment, you can choose to remember how God has been faithful throughout your life. And if, as on those categorically hard days, you forget about the good things in your past, you can look to the stories in the Bible about how He always keeps His promises, always brings good out of evil, and promises to never, ever, no not ever abandon us.
Remember the stories of Abraham,
Jacob,
Joseph,
Daniel,
Ruth,
Esther,
Rahab,
and the list goes on….
The Holy But is able to change your situation from concentrating on the external issues in life to the internal – your spirit. You take all those emotions back to the Person dwelling in you and get God into it. Then you can experience peace even in the midst of the storm.
All fear is but the notion that God’s love ends ~ Ann Voskamp
Welcome this
new year and consider letting God bless you in the days ahead by using the Holy
But.
The year
ahead looks daunting, but I know You are holding me with Your everlasting arms.
I feel
like a loser today, but I know You love me anyway.
The world happenings are causing me fear, but I know You are still the King of the earth, King of me and I trust You.
Lord,
life is going by so fast! It frightens
me unless I remember your eternity. We
are as rootless as tumbleweeds and will be blown about all our lives unless You
are our dwelling place. In You we are
home. What I have in You I can never
lose and will have forever. I praise You
for this unfathomable comfort. Amen. ~ Tim Keller
Do you ever
have days when you are content, at peace, all is well, and the world is as you
think it should be?
Or are more
of your days filled with disappointment, frustration, wishing life would be
peaceful and simple?
Three thousand years ago King David wrote The Lord is My Shepherd, I shall not want. It seems that if the first part of that sentence is accurate, then the second part would become true as well. I have recited those words hundreds of time, they are in the hard drive of my mind. But how often do I actually experience them?
I have many days when I do not want anything more than what I already have, especially when I read about refugees in Syria and Iraq, living for years in tent camps, waiting, always waiting for a day when they can return home. When I think about persecuted people around the world I tend to ask, Why do I have life so easy?
Then there are other times when I get focused on my wants, my desires, my hopes and dreams that have been dashed and mostly forgotten.
Because I
have spent many more hours in bed than what I would have chosen during the past
two months, I have been reading more. I
started rereading The Lord of the Rings, and I love being caught up in the
adventures of Frodo and Sam, Gandalf, the dwarves, elves, the ring-wraiths, the
armies of orcs, Saruman, and various other characters of good and evil. I became immersed with their lives fraught
with so much danger and uncertainty, struggles and battles, yet always faithfully
walking forward toward their goal of delivering the Ring to where it
belongs.
Sometimes the Fellowship of the Ring have plenty to eat, other days they tighten their belts and move on. Many days they walk near a sparkling stream, but they have intervals when they have to carry more pounds as they must pack canteens.
Yet they journey on because they have an important job to do. Yes, they occasionally have reprieves from their hardships as when they come to the Elves peaceful abode. Those are simply gifts given at a time when they absolutely need time to rest, to be restored in order to carry on with their assignment.
We are all on this journey called life. There are days, maybe weeks, when we are content – and then something happens that disturbs and annoys. An unexpected phone call or an unkind remark takes us down. Then what?
In order to truly say The Lord is my Shepherd I shall not want, we need to be convinced about the character of our Shepherd. If we honestly believe Jesus is gracious, full of compassion, slow to anger, abounding in love and living inside us, then we can rest in peace, knowing He is doing all things well. We will struggle at times, just like Frodo and his fellowship, yet our Shepherd is always faithful and will continue to guide and walk with us on the journey.
But sometimes life circumstances shout louder than God’s voice.
A few weeks ago I was not at all content. I wanted health, I wanted energy and healing from a virus that knocked me flat for over a month. There were days I wondered if I’d ever be able to stay out of bed for more than a half hour at a time without wilting in fatigue. For a few days I began to doubt that God cared about me, I felt like I had been abandoned…again.
Over the years I have had skirmishes with such thoughts, but was hoping those days were gone. When our bodies don’t run properly it is easy to let our minds follow and believe our emotions over the facts we know are true.
One day during this dark time I received a package in the mail from my friend Ruth. In it was a picture she had painted, the stump of a tree with a green shoot growing out of it. I saw it and cried. It’s amazing how that one piece of art gave me hope again. I felt as though I was that cut off stump, yet with a little life still growing slowly but surely.
I had not
been forgotten, God had been by my side the whole time. I had simply succumbed to self-pity and
hopelessness instead of looking at the truth of who He is.
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who
are crushed in spirit.
Psalm 34:18
If those
words are true, then I shall not want – not ever. I love how Lysa TerKeurst puts it:
Your job is to be obedient to Me. My job is everything else.
All Jesus asks is that we trust Him. We don’t have to figure everything out, try to control those around us or work to manipulate our circumstances. He is good, His love endures forever, He has promised to never leave us or forsake us. And that is the Truth.
Now that I am climbing out of yet another dark pit of illness, I have been reminded once again to always trust and not despair.
Advertised as a Class 3 float trip with plenty of whitewater action and beautiful scenery, it was a gorgeous September day on the Snake River. Ninety degrees and a blue sky speckled with clouds was beyond anything Dad and I could have asked.
Packing our lunches in waterproof bags, we filled our water bottles and drove the five minutes to the launch spot.
We listened to our licensed, professional guide, Mike, explain all the safety procedures should one of us be thrown into the river during the 10-mile trip. Nervously I asked if it was often that people were tossed into the rapids. Mike replied that they had employed one guide who dumped out adventurers quite consistently but she lost her job when it became a noticeable pattern. He assured us that his record was much better and if we all paddled together the excursion should be quite enjoyable yet exciting.
Mike was in the back acting as our rudder and the eight passengers were instructed to Forward row, Back row or Rest, according to the orders he gave us. Simple enough.
As we pushed off, the river was calm and Mike took us to a spot where he was certain we could spot a sturgeon prowling the waters. After several minutes of peering into dark water the four-foot sturgeon finally appeared to entertain us with his graceful roaming.
Then our first rapid appeared. FORWARD ROW!, Mike shouted, and we all started rowing, clumsily clanking each other’s paddles. Even though we were less than stellar rowers we were through that rapid in about ten seconds
It was time to relax with some calm water and enjoy the osprey and blue heron gracefully standing on the sides of the river. Mike also pointed out the blackberry bushes, of which we stopped and sampled, as well as poison ivy, which we did not.
As we were remarking about the rugged beauty, amid the pillow lava, Mike told us that one of his floaters a few weeks earlier asked if he and the other guides went out to place the rocks and bushes so beautifully on the sides of the river. He chuckled as he told the story, wondering how anyone could consider asking a question like that.
There were a few more minor rapids and we as a team continued to improve on our rowing, not jangling our paddles quite so much.
Then appeared the largest rapid of all. My heart started racing and fear riveted as I looked ahead, seeing the whitewater of the river looming ahead of us. I detected that the water close to the beach was much calmer, but no, Mike headed for the center of the river where the roughest water was churning.
FORWARD ROW! Yelled Mike. Down into the first wave we plummeted and our entire crew was drenched with 58 degree water. KEEP ROWING! He yelled. Sure, I thought. Keep rowing as I’m falling into Dad’s lap and onto the top of the guy in front of me. I was exhilarated that I had held onto my oar and was not floating in the river. I was not going to be paddling for a while.
Amazingly we all stayed in the raft and navigated that rapid quite well. Just when my heart had quieted and we were on calm water again Mike said: That was so much fun let’s do it again!
Thankfully I was able to keep my mouth shut, but in my mind I was shouting: Are you kidding me already? We barely survived that one, I have a good memory and I don’t need to do it again. But FORWARD ROW! was the command and Mike turned around and steered us back into that same rapid, again directly into the center and most violent part.
Of course the story was repeated again. Once more we got through with everyone intact and thoroughly soaked. But you know what? The second time through it was not as scary and I was actually able to keep on rowing part of the time and not fall onto the people around me.
Shortly after we were able to see the only Frank Lloyd Wright designed home in all of Idaho. Hidden completely from the roadside, it was somewhat visible from the river.
After a few more drenching rapids, our crew became more unified and there were less and less clanking oars as we learned to work together and concentrate on obeying and trusting our guide. I viewed every rapid from then on as a challenge to keep rowing and stay in my seat.
Eventually we came to the end of the journey, and at the take-out said good-bye to our new found friends. After we got home Dad and I chatted about the joy and beauty of the trip. He had gone on the same excursion back in April by himself because I was not so brave. But the shared adventure of the outing made it much sweeter as we relived together the delight and challenge of the trip.
After the excursion I reminisced about the times we were plunging into the various rapids and thought about life and how, if I had a choice, would always stay close to shore where the calmer water lay. But God has seen fit to bring Dad and I, as well as all of you, through turbulent rapids – times when we have had to hold on for dear life, continually trusting our leader and guide, Jesus Christ.
At times it has seemed as if our lives would capsize and we would go under, never to come up again. But here we are, still in the land of the living, and growing stronger day by day. He knows what is best for us, and walks us through those difficult times, as we are able to grow up and become more like Him.
When things get rough, that’s precisely when we grow in faith.
One of my favorite verses for when I am going through rejection, chronic illness, fear of the future and loneliness is Isaiah 41:10:
So, do not fear, for I am with you;
Do not look around you in terror and be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen and harden you to difficulties,
Yes, I will hold you up and retain you with My victorious right hand of rightness and justice.
Hold tightly to your leader and your guide. Jesus will never let you go. He loves you dearly, my precious children.
The only difference between stumbling blocks and stepping stones
is how you use them. ~ Unknown
Dear Daughters,
Disruptions.
It’s a word no one likes, but it’s a reality of life. You know how you may have a day planned, a picnic scheduled, a vacation intended, a wonderful life that you imagined, a marriage you had hoped for. And then something comes up to disrupt your plans. Sometimes it’s a physical ailment, other times the rain comes when you’d rather it wouldn’t, a car accident, postponed flights, people who don’t agree with your ideas.
When Dad and I married 39 years ago I had my long-range plan in place – to live a peaceful yet challenging life on a dairy in Idaho. As you know, only four years later my nostalgic plans were disrupted when Dad answered the call to move to Michigan to go to school so he could become a pastor. This was not how I expected my life to unfold.
After living in four different states and 10 different cities, disruptions have become a way of life for us. They have not become any easier, but we have grown accustomed to meeting and getting to know new people again and again.
We are often offended by disruptions. Schedules and busyness can become addictive, making us feel like we are in control of our life. We bring the kids to soccer practice, make sure there are clean clothes for tomorrow so we don’t have to dig some out of the hamper, try to have something edible on the table for dinner, get the homework done, try to have a little quality time with our husband….and the list goes on.
If you remember Bilbo Baggins the Hobbit, he was a person whose life was completely disrupted without his permission. He was called on a journey that he was not prepared for, didn’t sign up for, never remotely volunteered for, and really was not at all interested. But Gandalf came, brought him some friends and comrades and off they went into unknown, uncharted territory. In the end, Bilbo grew up. He did things he never thought himself as being capable to do. He became courageous, brave, bold, daring and creative.
Or think of Dorothy. She too was taken on an adventure unexpectedly because of the tornado. She had not chosen to be carried in her dream to the land of Oz, but once there she made friends with Scarecrow, the Cowardly Lion and the Tin Man. On her journey with them she learned compassion, bravery, how to stand up to become a warrior and a leader.
When God disrupts our lives with whatever circumstances he chooses to use, we are not usually too grateful. We would prefer to order our own lives, follow our five-year, maybe ten-year plan for our life. We like to be comfortable, doing things that make us happy. However, God wants us to learn to love others as we love ourselves.
I was so surprised 10 years ago when I read Victory over the Darkness by Neil Anderson and learned that God’s basic goal for my life is character development: being and becoming the person God wants me to be.
Really? That’s it? It sounded too simplistic. I thought it was doing all the right stuff, being a fairly good wife and mother, teaching all my students to sing and play the piano.
Yes, those things are important, but the bottom line is that God wants you to become more loving, patient, joyful, peaceful, faithful and kind. Nobody on earth can keep you from becoming that kind of person. That’s precisely why there are distractions, disappointments, trials and disruptions in our lives. We often interpret the hardships in our lives as “Why is God mad at me?” Instead we need to see them as “God loves me enough to mature me.”
Helen Keller, the woman who was both blind and deaf, wrote: “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision-cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.”
So, we have a choice. We can choose to see our tribulations as stumbling blocks, get angry about them, whine and complain about them. Or we can accept disruptions as stepping stones and embrace the changes and challenges that come into our lives, knowing that Jesus will use these incidents to grow us up.
I don’t know of any parent who wants to keep their children in diapers. We want our own children to mature, and God is our Heavenly Father wanting maturity for us as well.
A recent minor disruption in my life came a few weeks ago. Grandma was at the podiatrist and was diagnosed with a toenail and foot fungus. The cure is an anti-fungal lotion to be put on twice a day for months. My first inclination was not “Oh boy, now I can better learn how to love and serve my mom.” Nope, I will be honest and admit that I was grossed out. But as I have been faithful in fighting the fungus I am learning to love her more. She doesn’t remember much these days, but she does remember the pleasant foot massage that comes along with the anti-fungus cream.
God uses disruptions, whether in marriage or other relationships, as a potter’s wheel. We need to remember that He is the potter, we are the clay. He is the one shaping and molding us.
Let God mold you, shape you into His image. For each person the specific story of circumstances will be different, but the Larger Story is always the same. “The goal of our instruction is love.” (I Timothy 1:5) Accept what God allows into your lives with an open hand, willing to see how He wants to teach you how to love. He loves you dearly and is walking with you every day, teaching and encouraging you in every disruption that comes your way.
A few weeks ago I was helping Grandpa and Grandma prepare for a trip to California with Aunt Rhonda and Valerie. Although they have traveled down south many times in their lives it’s different now that they are older.
Dementia has changed everything.
Although the trip was three days away there were many wonderings, numerous questions, countless concerns. “Who is going to take care of Willow when we’re gone? Will she have enough dog food? Who will feed the cats? Will we have time to fill my eye drop prescription? Who is driving us to the airport? What time do we leave? ” As Grandma carried the calendar from room to room she asked, “What day is it today? How many days until we leave?” The same questions were asked over and over in variation during the course of the preparation days. I simply said “Trust me, Mom. Everything’s ok.”
Even though I had written down the answers to many of her questions, she continually thought up new ones. The day before the departure date, while Grandma and I were packing the luggage together, she assured me that she had never seen that carry-on before. So I let her search through all the closets of the house, and when she couldn’t find the right one she reluctantly agreed to use the one I had chosen at the beginning.
Finally the day came to depart. The luggage was zipped up and ready to go. I needed to go into another room to make a quick phone call so I left for just a few minutes. When I came back the contents of the carry-on were scattered across the table. “I’m just double checking to see if we have everything we need,” said Grandma. With some slight frustration in my voice I again simply said “Trust me, Mom. We’ve got everything you’ll need.”
I smiled to myself, being transported back 20 years ago to when you four girls were young. So much of the same scenario presented itself except that now it’s my mother instead of my children doing these things.
An interesting part of this story is that a few days earlier we had 15 people over to the house, hosting an evening of music with some friends who love to sing. The pianist for the evening was Grandma. She was full of smiles as she welcomed guests at the door, and was sharp as a whip at the piano.
All she needed was a sheet of paper with the names of the songs and the key in which she played them. Whenever anyone chose a song from the prepared song sheet, they simply requested the song of their choice and within five seconds Grandma had the introduction in motion – flourishing arpeggios included.
It amazes me that one person can still be so gifted, yet have such deficits in other areas. But isn’t that just like all of us? We all shine in some way or another, yet have other areas that are not so shiny.
After Aunt Rhonda and Valerie left for California with Grandpa and Grandma, I got thinking about all the anxiety and worries that Grandma had been plagued with. And I wondered if we ever look that way to God.
Spiritual dementia.
We ask so many questions, What am I going to wear today? Should I change jobs? How are we going to pay all the bills this month? Will there be enough water for the crops to grow well this year? What if my marriage fails? How about my friends, will they stick near me or will I be abandoned? What if a tornado strikes our home?
On and on the doubts arise, the questions come over us like waves. Does God really care about all the details of my life? What about the choices my kids are making? What if I get sick and can’t work? What if identity theft happens to me?
Though it all God is constantly saying “Trust Me. I love you, I care about you. Trust Me. I will never leave you or forsake you. Trust Me.” I’ve had many anxieties over the years, betrayals, rejection – just like all of you. But as I look back on those years, God has given provision and comfort at every turn.
However, one thing he has not provided is understanding. I would love to know the what, where and why of many circumstances, but that would take away the necessity of faith. Of simple trust.
Things have often been difficult – in my marriage, in my work, in my mothering. But I have learned to trust, sometimes grudgingly, sometimes simply repeating the words “I Trust You” when there is no emotion and very little faith behind it, and at rare times with assurance.
Looking back on six decades of life there are still times when voices from the past – condemning, accusing, mocking voices still haunt. During those times too the words “Trust Me” have been woven like a thread throughout my existence. There were years that I didn’t trust, thought that I knew better than God so I did it my way, which brought sure misery. There were times when I, just like my mother, looked through all the closets for a different way, an easier way to live, and God watching and letting me search until I could find nothing else that satisfied. When I finally turned back to the words of truth: Trust in the Lord and do good. Love your husband – just as he is, let go of your children and let me lead them… Then, and only then did I find sweet peace.
Now that we’re here caring daily for Grandpa and Grandma I still need to listen to God’s voice saying “Trust Me” during the days of uncertainty, questioning and repetition. And I pray that you, my beautiful daughters will learn to say those precious words “I Trust You” as well.
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