Musings on Marriage

Tag: Vision

A Weary World Rejoices

Dear Daughters,

About a year ago in December I remember reading incredibly optimistic articles about the upcoming year of 2020 being a wonderful year of being able to see clearly.  Ideal vision, 20/20 vision, the ability to see and do what we need to do – it was to be the exceptional year of progress and possibility.  Unemployment was low, the economy was good.  And then came the corona virus…

Now we are near the end of 2020, a year no one could have ever predicted and we’re weary.  At times it seems like we‘re living out the movie Groundhog, every day is a bit too much like the day before. 

So what is there to rejoice about? 

The world in which Jesus was born was not so very different.  The Roman Empire in the first century was cruel and harsh – high taxes, oppression from the government, police brutality, a huge chasm between the ruling elite and the poor.  It was a time when all the Jews were hoping and waiting for the Messiah to come, just as they had been waiting for hundreds of years. 

The Jews felt lost and forgotten. 

Abandoned and overlooked.

And then, when they were least expecting it, He came.  Not as a warrior on a mighty white steed armed with a sword and ready to take out the Roman government, which was what most people were expecting.  They were hoping for release from the unfair rule of the current government and seeing a triumphant procession led by the Messiah to release them from bondage.

Instead, Jesus was born of a young teenage mother and protected by her brave and courageous husband. Mary and Joseph were most likely afraid, outcasts of society and tired.  Jesus, the one who was from before creation, humbled himself to be nestled in the darkness of a virgin’s womb, becoming handicapped and encased in a human body, living within time constraints when he was the Eternal One.  And why?

He was called Emmanuel – God with us. 

He saw that we could not save ourselves.  Lord knows we have all tried.  Tried to follow all the rules, do the right thing, be good enough, strong enough, acceptable enough.  But the chasm between us and a Holy Perfect God is too vast.  There’s no way on earth that we can get rid of the guilt, shame and unworthiness that we have all felt.

So Jesus came to be the bridge between God and us.  Simple as that.  When we say yes to Jesus, he comes to take away our guilt and shame and gives us a new heart – a heart of flesh instead of our original heart of stone.  He gives us new life, the ability to love and forgive, show compassion and mercy even to those who don’t deserve it. Especially to those who don’t deserve it.

The YouVersion Bible App has noticed that the most bookmarked, sought after and read verse in Scripture in this year 2020 is Isaiah 41:10,

So do not fear, for I am with you;

Do not be dismayed, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you;

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Do not fear, which is a phrase repeated over 300 times in the Bible is certainly what we need in our time, just as the people in Isaiah’s time needed to hear it.  Just as Mary and Joseph needed to hear it, and exactly what we need to hear today when fear has become epidemic to our world. 

I am with you, Emmanuel, God with us.  True hope amid chaos.  Stability.  The Eternal One with us. 

Now we can breathe, and rejoice.  Jesus has not left us alone, but has promised that forever He will be our strength and help.  He doesn’t fix things as we think they need fixing, yet has promised to walk with us through every hard thing.

We are a weary world and we can still rejoice because we have not been left alone.

We never have to be beside ourselves with fears

when God is beside us with favor

Ask Mary

Favor isn’t grace for an easy trajectory,

but enough grace for a hard task.

Ask Mary

Favor with God doesn’t mean receiving more grace than others

But receiving enough grace to live sacrificially for others.

Ann Voskamp

So maybe 2020 has been a year of clear vision.  It has caused many of us to search for a solid foundation, for Someone who will never change even though a tiny little virus has certainly changed life as we know it.  It is a year that has brought us to our knees.  And I think on our knees is a good place to be…Humble, looking for Him our creator who came as a child so he could experience life as we have, in a human body so fragile that his own creation killed Him. 

He loves us like none other.  He’s our only safe space.

A weary world rejoices.

Love, Mom

Tied to the Mast

Dear Daughters,

It was a cloudless, beautiful evening in Seattle aboard the MV Skansonia, a retired ferry on Union Lake.  Parents, grandparents, aunt and uncles, cousins and friends of Chris and Julia came thousands of miles to witness a 30 minute ceremony of words, watch them exchange a bit of metal and stone, rejoice with a little music and square dancing, feast on scrumptious food.IMG_20150614_183536093

A wedding, the celebration of the beginning of a marriage, is a time for joyous celebration.  Promises made, all of us looking on, cheering, smiling, remembering earlier wedding ceremonies of our own.

When all the bridesmaids, groomsmen, parents and favorite dog processed to their places, Chris stood next to the pastor, his face eager with anticipation to see his beautiful bride.  The look of pure joy and desire on both Chris and Julia’s faces was priceless. DSCN1939

After the vows were promised and the rings exchanged, the parents encircled the newly married couple, hands clasped and praying for them during the song Be Thou My Vision.

VisionDSCN1981

Ever since I turned 40, my eyes have not focused as they used to.  I had to buy lenses in order to see clearly.  I could have continued on with no help from the magnifying lens but my life would have been drastically curtailed – unable to read books, music or computer pixels.

In the same way, seeing marriage through the lens of God is truly the best way to make a marriage thrive and grow.  Since God is the inventor/idea maker of marriage, it would only make sense to read what He has to say about this unique institution so we can have His clear vision of the meaning of marriage.DSCN1973

Think about buying a car.  When we purchase something that is completely out of our realm of understanding, it is certainly wise to see what the owner manual says about treating and maintaining our vehicle.

All of us see marriage through distorted lenses of our own experiences.  Some who come from a family with a sound marriage will be shocked at how difficult marriage actually is if our parents dealt with their differences behind closed doors.  Others, having come out of a dysfunctional home, will have little idea of what a healthy nourishing marriage looks like.  In either situation, young lovers will have to deal with selfishness and self-centeredness that is at the core of every human being.DSCN1955

During a short reading from C S Lewis’ Mere Christianity during the wedding ceremony, we were reminded about the difference between romantic love and true committed love.  It’s easy to feel ecstatic, floating-on-clouds emotion for a time, but life-long, unwavering, committed love, especially during difficult times, is what will ultimately lead to mature, selfless, true love.

Love, in the Christian sense, does not mean an emotion. It is a state not of the feelings but of the will; that state of the will which we have naturally about ourselves, and must learn to have about other people…IMG_20150614_192601583

Pastor JJ reminded us that marriage is a reflection of God’s love.  When the world sees a sound, committed marriage, the goodness of God is shared with everyone who witnesses such a love.  In our culture today it is a rare delight to see a married couple still enjoying one another after decades of living with each other.

When the Bible speaks of love, it is measured not by how much you want to receive, but how much you are willing to give of yourself to someone.  Marriage is to be a covenant love – seen through the lens of God, a love given with promises.  Too often today, love is seen through the lens of the world and becomes a consumer love – only living to take what it can get for the lowest possible price.DSCN1949

Tim Keller, in The Meaning of Marriage, tells about a story in Greek mythology. There were creatures called Sirens (half bird, half woman) who would lure Ulysses and his men to destruction with their beautiful songs as the men sailed by their island.  Because Ulysses knew of the power of the Sirens and the temporary insanity it would cause him and his men, he instructed the men to plug their ears with wax, tied himself to the mast, and told his men to keep on their course no matter what other instructions he might give. IMG_20150623_204615139

Ulysses was wise in looking and preparing for the future, knowing that temptations would certainly come, and come with a vengeance.  But he also knew that he didn’t want to succumb to the luring voices of the Sirens and be destroyed.

In marriage vows we too declare a mutually binding promise of future love, not merely of the present love that we are feeling.  Our public wedding promises, made before many people, are similar to being Tied to the mast.

I’m quite certain that Chris and Julia will stay Tied to the mast of their promises.  As they partner with God, their love is built on a firm foundation and will weather the many storms that are bound to come.DSCN2032

I thank you, my daughters, for also staying Tied to the Mast of your promises made on your wedding day.  Jesus is doing a beautiful work through those promises.

Love, MomDSCN2042

 

 

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