Dear Daughters,
Last time I wrote only about the Introduction of the book, Sacred Influence. Changing me was such a new concept and very different to my way of thinking that it took (and still is taking) time and prayer to reverse that mindset.
In Chapter 1 Gary Thomas starts by saying that husbands like to brag about their wives. They may not say it to you, but they notice your strengths and are eager to tell others about your business acumen, social skills, intelligence, athletic ability, culinary talents – whatever it is that you do well. But far more important than these skills is your spiritual core. This is what will give you strength to be the godly change agent in your marriage.
Did you know that the Bible speaks very highly of women? In Genesis, right from the start, God created male and female so together we could mirror the image of God. Either gender alone is unable to adequately represent His character and image. Women are not simply told to cheer for the men, we are together given the mandate to rule, subdue, and manage this earth, which is a radical statement for any century and any culture in our world.
The next section in the chapter– Jesus, Friend of Women – was fascinating. In Matthew 1, the genealogy of Jesus includes women: Rahab the prostitute, Ruth, Bathsheba (with whom King David committed adultery), and Mary the mother of Jesus. In those days it was typically only men who were named in genealogies. So the amazing thing is that not only did God include women, but that several women had less than stellar backgrounds.
In our culture we have the notion that it is necessary to tear down men to lift up women, but it is remarkable to realize how often the men who surrounded Jesus just didn’t get it while the women did. Wherever He went He affirmed women when others disdained them. One time Jesus was having dinner with a religious professional when a prostitute walked in and washed Jesus’ feet with her tears, drying them with her hair. The man was appalled, but Jesus chided the man and praised the woman because she understood who Jesus was. Another time a woman poured costly perfume all over Jesus’ head and the disciples grumbled that it was a waste, but Jesus said, “Leave her alone, she has done a beautiful thing to me.” Then again when Jesus was hanging on the cross, only one out of the twelve male disciples came to watch, but “many women” dared to come and be with Jesus’ during His last suffering moments. 
Perhaps the most incredible example of all is after He died and rose again. Who were the first to talk to the angels at the grave, and then later meet Jesus face to face? Women. In those days women’s testimony could not be heard in courts of law, only men’s were valid, but Jesus chose women to be the first to see him so they could go and tell the men!
With all of this said, Thomas says that we need to know and believe that we are valued and dearly loved by God himself. So…if I truly believe that God deeply loves and respects me, then I can love and respect myself.
For my entire life I have sung “Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so…” but I think I never really believed it. Certainly I knew that God made me and the world and all the people and creation, but I thought that I had to figure out this marriage thing on my own. Looking back, I never realized how much God loved me. I never really trusted Him in caring for Dad or all of you. I thought I had to be the one who did all the molding and shaping (controlling). It is quite freeing to rest in the fact that I am loved by God and my only job is to love and pray for those around me, not try to change them. I also never realized how radical the Bible is in its treatment of women. It’s our culture that has it wrong; God sees men and women as equal in value. I pray that you will grow to know more and more that He cares intimately about every detail of your life ~ and that He can be trusted ~ even in your marriage.
I love I Corinthians 7:17: “And don’t be wishing you were someplace else. Where you are right now is God’s place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there. God, not your marital status, defines your life.”
Love, Mom
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