Remembering…

Dear Daughters,

Today I started cleaning out Grandma’s closet.  Shoes, black snow boots, her favorite fuzzy slippers, tee-shirts with musical notes embroidered, pants with elastic waistbands, a shoe stretcher, her fluffy pink bathrobe –so many of them causing me to remember when she wore them and what she did while wearing them.   Her lovely blue jacket when she played piano at recitals, and her old work clothes for gardening, walking shoes….

 

Almost three months have passed since Grandma has walked the halls of her home.  It’s lonely walking down the lane by myself.  When I play the piano I have no audience to listen, to clap when I’m finished playing a song, no accompanying whistler as I play.  I’m growing accustomed to life as it is now, but it is different.

I know Grandma is rejoicing in heaven and I’m celebrating with her, yet her memories will continue to be with me every day for the rest of my life.

How can someone forget their mom?

A few days ago, Mariah sent me a poem she had written about Grandma.

 

Remembering You

 I am nothing to you

Not now anyways 

 

For all you know

I am simply another person

Living somewhere

Out in the world

 

You used to remember 

Who I was

And where you were

 

You used to play 

Everyday

And whistle

As though it were

Your second language

You used to go on walks

And water the flowers

 

You used to be

So full of life

And energy

And happiness

 

But now

You’ve forgotten

How to talk to the birds

Your hands 

Have left the ivory cold

And the plants you watered

Are beginning to wilt

 

The road you once walked

Is now empty

Devoid of life

The doors you opened 

Are now closed

 

But no matter

Where you are

Or how you have changed us

I pray

That the birds won’t forget

Your songs

Your call

Nor the piano 

Your music

 

I pray

That the roads you have traveled

Will remember your journey

And the closed doors

Are never forgotten

 

But most of all 

That the people you met

Will never forget you

The legacy you left behind

The music you gave us

The memories you were a part of

 

So

Grandma

Thank you

For all you’ve given us

For all you’ve left behind

Thank you Grandma

Thank you

~ Mariah Potoka, age 14

 

Thanks, my dear granddaughter Mariah, for reminding me once again how important each one of our lives are.  Even though we may think of our life stories as insignificant, the decisions we make today will affect others tomorrow, next week, next year – and to generations beyond.

It’s not the big impressive things we do, but the thousand unremarkable steps we take every day that make a beautiful life.

Ann Voskamp calls it living a life of holy redundancy – showing up faithfully day after day in the seemingly little things. 

That’s what Grandma did.  She loved the same man for 66 years, walked down the lane and beyond with a plastic bag in hand picking up trash from the ditches.  She played and taught from her beloved piano for hours, bringing pleasure to herself and thousands of others.  Every day she would faithfully make meals for us – my favorite macaroni and cheese, and my gagging worst – liver with onions, which I would slip to the dog under the table.

I know some days you feel like walking away from responsibility, turning your back on those who have hurt you, who haven’t appreciated all your sacrifice and love.  But Jesus sees your heart and is there cheering you on.   He will never leave or forsake you and will give you the strength to carry on yet another hour and then another day ….

You have probably heard of the ripple effect.  Throw a small stone in a calm pond and watch the ripples expand incrementally to the very boundaries of that pool of water.  That’s what Grandma’s life did.  She lived quietly, unassumingly, simply, thankfully, and because of that her life has touched many people, including you and me, for which I am extremely grateful.

Your kindness, your choice to forgive, your obedience to God, your faithfulness and perseverance will also go out as ripples to many you may never meet –and  will be remembered far beyond today.

Live your one life well.

Love, Mom

Trust in the Lord and do good…. Psalm 37:3