Dear Daughters,
Once I got over the surprising revelation that I can change nobody but myself, I read on to the next chapter of Sacred Influence by Gary Thomas. Changing me was such a new concept and different to my way of thinking that it took (and still is taking) time and prayer to change that mindset. All these years of thinking I could control and change other people seems so silly now that I know the truth, but for years I believed the lie that it was possible for me to produce results.
Thomas starts this chapter by saying husbands like to brag about their wives. They may not say it to you, but they notice your strengths and are eager to tell others about your business acumen, social skills, intelligence, athletic ability, culinary talents – whatever it is you do well. But far more important than any of these skills is your spiritual core. What do you really believe about yourself? Do you know – truly know and believe in the depths of your being – that God loves you? The answer to that question is what will give you strength to be the godly change agent in your marriage.
Did you know that the Bible speaks very highly of women? In Genesis, right from the beginning of time, God created male and female so together we could mirror the image of God. Either gender alone is unable to adequately represent His character and image. God didn’t simply tell women to cheer for the men, we are together given the mandate to rule, subdue, and manage this earth, which is a radical statement for any century and any culture in our world.
The next section in the chapter– Jesus, Friend of Women – was fascinating. In Matthew chapter 1, the genealogy of Jesus includes women:
Rahab the prostitute
Ruth the Moabite
Bathsheba (with whom King David committed adultery)
Mary the mother of Jesus
Thousands of years ago when the Bible was written, it was typically only men who were named in genealogies. So, the amazing thing is not only did God include women in this genealogy but several of those women had less than stellar backgrounds.
Rahab was obviously a prostitute, King David committed adultery with Bathsheba and had her husband killed, and yet Jesus had the humility to be identified with women in his family tree whose stories were spotted with sin. I used to think it was crazy to include stories of people who were so flawed in the Bible, but that’s when God does His best work – with those who know they are broken.
In our culture we are taught it is necessary to tear down men to lift women up, but it is remarkable to realize how often the disciples who surrounded Jesus just didn’t understand Him while the women did. Wherever He went He affirmed women when others disdained them. One time, Jesus was having dinner with a religious professional when a prostitute walked in and washed Jesus’ feet with her tears, drying them with her hair. The religious guy was appalled, but Jesus chided the man and praised the woman because she understood who Jesus was – the Savior of the world.
Another time a woman poured costly perfume over Jesus’ head and the disciples grumbled, saying it was a waste of money, but Jesus said,
Leave her alone, she has done a beautiful thing to me.
Then again when Jesus was hanging on the cross, only one out of the twelve male disciples came to watch, but many women dared to come and be with Jesus during His last suffering moments.
Perhaps the most incredible example of all is after He died and rose again. Who were the first to talk to the angels at the grave, and then later meet Jesus face to face? Women. The first woman was Mary Magdalene, from whom Jesus had cast out seven demons. In those days a woman’s testimony could not be heard in courts of law, only men’s testimonies were considered valid, but Jesus chose women to be the first to see him so they could go and tell the men, who didn’t believe them. Jesus, after he had risen, appeared to those 11 disciples and reproached them for their unbelief and hardness of heart.
With all this said, Gary Thomas writes about the importance to know and believe that we – every one of us – are valued and dearly loved by God himself. Then…if we truly believe God deeply loves and respects us, then we can love and respect ourselves.
For my entire life I have sung
Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so…
but I think I never really believed it until recently. Certainly I knew that God made me and the world and all the people and creation, but I just thought I had to figure out this love and marriage thing on my own. Looking back, I never realized how cherished I am to God. I never really trusted Him in caring for Dad and all of you. I thought I had to be the one who did all the molding and shaping (controlling). It is quite freeing to rest in the fact that I am loved by God and my only job is to love and pray for those around me, not try to change them. I also never realized how radical the Bible is in its treatment of women. It’s our culture that has it wrong; God sees men and women as equal in value.
I pray that you will grow to know more and more that He cares intimately about every detail of your life, and that He can be trusted ~ even in your marriage.
I love I Corinthians 7:17-18
And don’t be wishing you were someplace else. Where you are right now is God’s place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there. God, not your marital status, defines your life.
Love,
Mom
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