Stumbling Blocks or Stepping Stones?

The only difference between stumbling blocks and stepping stones

is how you use them.  ~ Unknown

Dear Daughters,

 Disruptions.

It’s a word no one likes, but it’s a reality of life.  You know how you sometimes have a day planned, a picnic scheduled, a vacation intended, a wonderful life you imagined, a marriage you had hoped for?  And then something comes up to change your plans.  Sometimes it’s a physical or mental ailment, other times it’s rainy when you want sun, a car accident occurs, postponed flights annoy, a microscopic virus disrupts life, and then there’s always those people who make life difficult.

 When Dad and I married 45 years ago I had my long-range plan in place – to live a peaceful yet challenging life on a dairy in Idaho.  As you know, only four years later my nostalgic plans were disrupted when Dad and I answered the call for him to become a pastor.  Moving cross-country to Michigan was not how I expected my life to unfold.

 Living in four different states and 12 different cities, disruptions have become a way of life for us.  They have not become any easier, but we have grown accustomed to making new friends – again and again.

  We are often offended by disruptions.  Schedules and busyness can become addictive, making us feel like we are in control of our life.  We bring the kids to soccer practice, make sure there are clean clothes for tomorrow so we don’t have to dig some out of the hamper, try to have something edible on the table for dinner, get the homework done, try to have a little quality time with our husband….and the list goes on. 

If you remember Bilbo Baggins the Hobbit, he was a person whose life was completely disrupted without his permission.  He was called on a journey he wasn’t prepared for, didn’t sign up for, never remotely volunteered for, and really was not at all interested.  But Gandalf came, brought him some friends and comrades and off they went into unknown, uncharted territory.  In the end, Bilbo grew up.  He did things he never thought himself able to do.  He became courageous, brave, bold, daring and creative.

Or think of Dorothy.  She too was taken on an adventure unexpectedly because of the tornado.  She had not chosen to be carried in her dream to the land of Oz, but once there she made friends with Scarecrow, the Cowardly Lion and the Tin Man.  On the journey with them she learned compassion, bravery, and how to become a warrior.

 When God disrupts our lives with whatever circumstances he chooses to use, we are not typically grateful.  We would prefer to order our own lives, follow our five, maybe ten-year plan for our life.  We like to be comfortable, doing things that make us happy.  However, God wants us to learn to love others as we love ourselves.

 I was surprised 20 years ago when I read Victory over the Darkness by Neil Anderson and learned that God’s basic goal for my life is character development: being and becoming the person God wants me to be.  Really?  That’s it?  It sounded too simplistic.  I thought it was doing all the right stuff, being a fairly good wife and mother, teaching all my students to sing and play the piano. 

 Yes, those things are important, but the bottom line is that God wants you to become more loving, patient, joyful, peaceful, faithful and kind.  Nobody on earth can keep you from becoming that kind of person. And that’s precisely why there are distractions, disappointments, trials and disruptions in our lives. 

We often interpret the hardships in our lives as, Why is God mad at me?  Perhaps we need to see them as,

God loves me enough to mature me.

            Helen Keller, the woman who was both blind and deaf, wrote:

Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. 

Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened,

vision-cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.

 So, we have a choice.  We can choose to see our tribulations as stumbling blocks, get angry about them, whine and complain about them.  Or we can accept disruptions as stepping stones and embrace the changes and challenges that come into our lives, knowing Jesus will use these incidents to grow us up.

I don’t know of any parent who wants to keep their children in diapers.  We want our own children to mature, and God our Heavenly Father wants maturity for us as well.

For each person, the specific story of circumstances will be different, but the Larger Story is always the same:

The goal of our instruction is love. (I Timothy 1:5) 

Our disruptions can be seen either as stumbling blocks or stepping stones, the choice is ours.

Love, Mom