Choosing Your Hard

Dear Daughters,

According to those who study the brain, the average adult makes around 35,000 conscious choices every day.  From the words we speak to the food we eat, the socks we wear, the number and direction of the steps we take, we’re always making choices.  Some of them seem trivial, others more consequential.  But as the proverbial snowflakes that continue to pile up hour after hour, every choice matters, and the end result is sometimes what we least expect.

You’ve probably heard this quote before, but I think it bears repeating:

Obesity is hard.  Staying fit is hard. 

Choose your hard.

Being in debt is hard.  Being financially disciplined is hard. 

Choose your hard.

Marriage is hard.  Divorce is hard. 

Choose your hard.

Communicating is hard.  Not communicating is hard.

            Choose your hard.

I think everyone who is alive and breathing agrees Life is Hard.  Even though our culture tries to assure us that what we buy, wear or eat will make us happy and life easy, by now most of us have figured out that stuff won’t ever bring joy.   

Life will never be easy. It will always be hard.  Even when we choose options which seem to be easy, they never are.   Taking the easy way isn’t the easy way.

I wonder if the simple choice of expecting hard things would make life more palatable.  Expectations of having an easy and carefree life simply sets us up for disappointment.  But if we see life as climbing a mountain, following our trusted mountaineering guide, knowing He will guide us and walk alongside us, we can expect hard and thrive, experience joy in the hard.  We are never told to navigate life on our own, it’s too much to bear. 

I love those statements above so I’ve decided to add a few other Choose Your Hard words of my own:

Going to work on time is hard.  Being fired is hard.

            Choose your hard.

Working on a team is hard.  Working alone is hard.

            Choose your hard.

Forgiving your enemies is hard.  Taking revenge is hard.

            Choose your hard.

Trusting Jesus is hard.  Trusting yourself is hard.

            Choose your hard.

Complaining is hard.  Being thankful is hard.

            Choose your hard.

Speaking words of kindness is hard.  Speaking words of bitterness is hard.

            Choose your hard.

Trusting people is hard.  Trusting no one is hard.

                Choose your hard.

Saying Yes is hard.  Saying No is hard.

            Choose your hard.

Remember that climbing a mountain metaphor with a trusted mountain guide I mentioned earlier?  It’s the only way I can wake up every day, put my feet on the floor and walk forward.  If I trust in my own judgment, in my own understanding and sight of the limited world I can see around me, I flounder.  This world is simply too complex for my little brain to figure out the best words to say or the wise choices to make.  I need a mountain guide on the sunny days when I think I can see every perspective correctly, I need a guide when it’s foggy and I can’t see a foot ahead of me.  I am unable to do life on my own.  Thankfully Jesus is more than willing to help me, walk beside me, encourage me, forgive me when I confess, lead me in to make the better choice – simply for the asking. 

As Avery Garns has spoken so well:

God is teaching me that I can be both thankful and frustrated, fractured and faithful. Maybe this place of in-between, of both/and, is the place where we find true hope and healing.

 Taking the easy way isn’t an easy way, it’s non-existent.   So choose your hard, choose wisely, trust Jesus and live in expectation of joy in the hard.

Love, Mom