Go Slow

Dear Daughters,

          The other day I was walking down the hall and there was Dad lying down on the cold tile floor taking a picture of Grandma’s Christmas cactus.  Now I know Dad loves to take pictures and they are really good ones, but taking pictures from below the flowers?  It is a beautiful plant, but as Dad found out, the real beauty truly came from slowing down, lying below and looking up.  I know because I stopped, took the time and laid down beside him to see for myself.

When I was in junior high I loved to play the piano, loud and fast.  I hated to play slow songs – they were so boring.  Plus, all the kids were impressed when I played fast and loud – spider fingers is what they called me.

Later on in college, Professor Worst would say to me,  Slow down, Shari, your music will have so much more life to it if you just go slower.  Breathe.

Years ago, when I walked with my friends I loved to walk fast.  We would walk and walk and talk.  Then when Grandma came to visit, just she and I would go.  I would be silently annoyed because she walked slower than I liked, but I would grudgingly adapt to her speed.

When you are in Wyoming and the gas gauge on your car is getting low and there’s not a gas station for another 52 miles, what’s the best thing to do?  Slow down so your mileage goes up and maybe, just maybe you can make it to the next town before the tank is empty.  (It didn’t always work for us, but in theory it should.)

In my younger years I wanted to be efficient, multi-task, get the most done in the least amount of time.  Isn’t that the way a good Christian woman should be?  I wanted to do my best for God, which meant to do it quickly and well, or so I thought.  I expected the same from God: He should be efficient, answer my prayers soon, maybe not quickly, but I really shouldn’t have to wait too long, should I?

And then I got sick and was laid low, on my back, for weeks.  I couldn’t walk around the block, much less walk fast around the block.  Of course I was irritated, angry that I didn’t get better quickly.

One day as I was on the couch, lying down and looking up, I read in Isaiah the following words that jumped out from the page:

Woe to those who say, ‘Let God hurry and carry out His plans so that we can see something happening and know that his word is true.’

I was shocked, surprised, and if truth be told, hurt, to read that God was in no hurry to answer my prayers of healing or of anything else I desired, in fact there was a woe attached to hurry.  In the past I had been so busy that I had not listened to his voice that also said

Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him.

Psalm 37:7

A few months ago I was practicing the song Breathe on the piano and it had some difficult parts in it when I was keeping the same speed throughout.  But as I was working out the hard spots, having to go slow, I noticed a beauty that I hadn’t heard before.  I found that if I took extra time and breathed into the song some times of slowing, stretching the tempo, it came alive and was much more beautiful than simply trying to keep the challenging parts the same speed as the rest of the song.  I needed to be reminded again, Go slow.  Especially the hard parts.

Eventually I was able to get up and around again after my time on the couch, but I have learned and am still learning to remember to go slow, take time, and

Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. 

Psalm 27:14. 

I’m assuming that because the phrase wait for the Lord is stated two times in that little short verse, God is really adamant about waiting.  As Ann Voskamp says so often, Life is not an emergency.  Breathe.

In our marriages we want changes in our husband, in us and in our kids.  When we invite God into our hard parts of life, He will bring about change – but never in a hurried way.

The amazing thing is that while I was on the couch God did an important reconciling work between Dad and I.  In the world’s eyes I was not at all productive, but in that time of slowdown He did some important, humbling work in me that could have never been done otherwise.

In God’s eyes relationships are much more important than  busyness.  I know that God will work out every detail, every hurt, every little thing in you and in your men in His time.  Trust Him with your life and your marriage – and go slow.

Love, Mom