Buds and Blooms

Dear Daughters,            

Grandpa has the most beautiful array of flowers in his garden.  In early spring we had yellow daffodils, later on there were pink, white and purple hyacinths.  Then came the tulips, tall ones, short ones – yellow, white, yellowish-orange and red.  Lilies and irises bloomed about the same time, some with ruffled petals, others as smooth and soft as velvet.  All these flowers were those that I had seen over the years in various places around the country. I will admit right now that in the past I really haven’t had much of an interest in flowers.

If you remember, many years ago I always sent you girls to go water the flowers that were outside around the house.  Flowers in general seemed to just be a superfluous part of life that I could do without.  Watering the flora simply seemed to be another thing to do, and I had enough on my lengthy to do list.  (My sincere apologies to my friends at the Weesies Plant Farm in Michigan).

Now that I am gaining in years, however, I have come to appreciate more and more the splendor of the variety and creativity of God in the world of flowers. The most intriguing flower right now in Grandpa’s garden is the paparer orientale or the Oriental Poppy.  Since I had never seen his garden in the spring I had no idea what that ugly plant was.  When I first saw the bush I thought it was a big weed.  Then I noticed numerous buds forming.  For weeks we watched the buds grow bigger and at last they have started to open.  First there was just one delicate papery flower.  Several days later a few more appeared.  Today there were seven vibrant red-orange flowers, with about 40 buds still tightly closed but soon ready to blossom.

I Googled the Oriental Poppy and found some interesting facts about this fascinating flower.  Poppies typically bloom in the spring and early summer, but by July and August the heat is too much for their delicate foliage and they go dormant.  They may look dead, but they are not.  In the winter the green plants will not grow, but neither will they die.  There is a lot of action going on in the soil, much growth in the roots of the plants during the hot summer and the cold winter, although there is nothing at all to see with our eyes.

You may be wondering what Poppies – known for their rich opium content – have to do with marriage.

Poppies, among millions of other plants and flowers are perennials, meaning that you don’t have to plant them year after year.  Like daisies, hostas, lavender, peonies, grasses, peppermint, tarragon, roses and many others, they simply lie dormant over the winter.

Amazingly, they survive below zero weather, blizzards, and many harsh weather conditions.  Yet in the springtime they unfurl their prickly leaves, new growth appears from what seems like dead dirt and the miracle of buds and blooms begins again.

There have been many times when our marriage had dormant times.  There have been blizzards, below zero as well as scalding temps, and many other harsh conditions in our relationship.  Disappointments in each other, disagreements over trivial as well as serious issues.  Sometimes it seemed as if there was no hope. For a season, sometimes weeks, other times months, there would be quiet.  Words weren’t there.  We went through the motions of being a married couple, doing our day to day activities, but really not connecting.

I’m sure all of you have experienced the same.

That initial spark of love seemed to have disappeared; it went dormant for a time.  The winter winds blew, yet we continued to hang on to the thread of hope that love could continue to grow and bloom. During these times both Dad and I, not knowing it at the time, were driven to put down deeper roots in our relationship with God.  So even though we as a couple did not seem to be growing by talking about our relationship, we were able to circumvent our marriage by going to the Master Gardener of marriages.  As we put our roots down deeper with Him we were able to love and accept each other even though we are so opposite in many areas. And then came spring.  Buds began to appear, first one, then another, finally more and more.  Still no blooms, but at least there were buds, the embryo, the beginning of beauty to come.  We trusted the Master Gardener to do the work that no human couple can do on their own, the work of knitting two souls together who had previously become unraveled.

I was thinking the other day about the ups and downs of marriage.  Some days Dad and I seem to be as one person, laughing at our past, delighting in life here in Idaho, enjoying a scrumptious meal together, sharing both the hilarious and challenging moments of living with Grandpa and Grandma.

Other days, all I can see are the hurts from the past, remembrances of years gone by. It is a choice I make to continually forgive, replace the difficult memories with those of grace and love.  Then the blooms come once again, one by one, growing more beautiful every year.

I pray that you too will choose to allow your roots to grow down deeper into God so that he can teach you how to love like He loves, forgive like He forgives, and show grace and mercy so that your relationship will bloom and you will continually have hope that spring will come again and again in your marriage.

Love, Mom

Everywhere we look God is speaking to us.

His creation is singing to us.

The heavens are shouting it out. 

It’s not what it looks like!

There is hope beyond the walls of this world!

~Sally Lloyd-Jones