Disruptions

The only difference between stumbling blocks and stepping stones

is how you use them.  ~ Unknown

Dear Daughters,

Disruptions.

It’s a word no one likes, but it’s a reality of life.  You know how you may have a day planned, a picnic scheduled, a vacation intended, a wonderful life that you imagined, a marriage you had hoped for.  And then something comes up to disrupt your plans.  Sometimes it’s a physical ailment, other times the rain comes when you’d rather it wouldn’t, a car accident, postponed flights, people who don’t agree with your ideas.

When Dad and I married 39 years ago I had my long-range plan in place – to live a peaceful yet challenging life on a dairy in Idaho.  As you know, only four years later my nostalgic plans were disrupted when Dad answered the call to move to Michigan to go to school so he could become a pastor.  This was not how I expected my life to unfold.

After living in four different states and 10 different cities, disruptions have become a way of life for us.  They have not become any easier, but we have grown accustomed to meeting and getting to know new people again and again.

We are often offended by disruptions.  Schedules and busyness can become addictive, making us feel like we are in control of our life.  We bring the kids to soccer practice, make sure there are clean clothes for tomorrow so we don’t have to dig some out of the hamper, try to have something edible on the table for dinner, get the homework done, try to have a little quality time with our husband….and the list goes on.

If you remember Bilbo Baggins the Hobbit, he was a person whose life was completely disrupted without his permission.  He was called on a journey that he was not prepared for, didn’t sign up for, never remotely volunteered for, and really was not at all interested.  But Gandalf came, brought him some friends and comrades and off they went into unknown, uncharted territory.  In the end, Bilbo grew up.  He did things he never thought himself as being capable to do.  He became courageous, brave, bold, daring and creative.

Or think of Dorothy.  She too was taken on an adventure unexpectedly because of the tornado.  She had not chosen to be carried in her dream to the land of Oz, but once there she made friends with Scarecrow, the Cowardly Lion and the Tin Man.  On her journey with them she learned compassion, bravery, how to stand up to become a warrior and a leader.

When God disrupts our lives with whatever circumstances he chooses to use, we are not usually too grateful.  We would prefer to order our own lives, follow our five-year, maybe ten-year plan for our life.  We like to be comfortable, doing things that make us happy.  However, God wants us to learn to love others as we love ourselves.

I was so surprised 10 years ago when I read Victory over the Darkness by Neil Anderson and learned that God’s basic goal for my life is character development: being and becoming the person God wants me to be.

Really?  That’s it?  It sounded too simplistic.  I thought it was doing all the right stuff, being a fairly good wife and mother, teaching all my students to sing and play the piano.

Yes, those things are important, but the bottom line is that God wants you to become more loving, patient, joyful, peaceful, faithful and kind.  Nobody on earth can keep you from becoming that kind of person. That’s precisely why there are distractions, disappointments, trials and disruptions in our lives.  We often interpret the hardships in our lives as “Why is God mad at me?”  Instead we need to see them as “God loves me enough to mature me.”

Helen Keller, the woman who was both blind and deaf, wrote: “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet.  Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision-cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.”

So, we have a choice.  We can choose to see our tribulations as stumbling blocks, get angry about them, whine and complain about them.  Or we can accept disruptions as stepping stones and embrace the changes and challenges that come into our lives, knowing that Jesus will use these incidents to grow us up.

I don’t know of any parent who wants to keep their children in diapers.  We want our own children to mature, and God is our Heavenly Father wanting maturity for us as well.

A recent minor disruption in my life came a few weeks ago.  Grandma was at the podiatrist and was diagnosed with a toenail and foot fungus.  The cure is an anti-fungal lotion to be put on twice a day for months.  My first inclination was not “Oh boy, now I can better learn how to love and serve my mom.”  Nope, I will be honest and admit that I was grossed out.  But as I have been faithful in fighting the fungus I am learning to love her more.  She doesn’t remember much these days, but she does remember the pleasant foot massage that comes along with the anti-fungus cream.

God uses disruptions, whether in marriage or other relationships, as a potter’s wheel.  We need to remember that He is the potter, we are the clay.  He is the one shaping and molding us.

Let God mold you, shape you into His image.  For each person the specific story of circumstances will be different, but the Larger Story is always the same.  “The goal of our instruction is love.”  (I Timothy 1:5)  Accept what God allows into your lives with an open hand, willing to see how He wants to teach you how to love.  He loves you dearly and is walking with you every day, teaching and encouraging you in every disruption that comes your way.

Love, Mom